AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

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Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

Inspired by the thread I have now placed one of DD's Always next to my tampons so both are on display in my downstairs toilet, as we have open shelving in there. Have ordered myself a mooncup inspired by the sanitary towels thread, so my tampons can be the guest tampons.
I have guest sanpro.

All I need now is a guest.

Ok, I have a question for the menstruation etiquette experts out there.

If you have a postpartum guest visiting..

Should you provide maternity pads?

Or if you have an elderly guest visiting...

Should you provide tena ladies?

Poor kid, obviously couldn't speak to her mum about it at the time. No wonder, she knew her mum would make a scene. Keep the kid close, sounds like she needs someone she can trust with a loon like that for a mum.

At Tesco she could have bought herself some. At a restaurant she might have found a pad or tampon machine in the loo. At a beach she might have had to resort to overcoming her shyness and asking if anyone had a tampon to spare.

But she was a guest in someone's home, and therefore had a right to think that her basic needs should be catered for by a good hostess, including the need to be able to help herself discreetly to sanpro. It wasn't biology that embarrassed her. It was another woman's inability to be a good hostess and anticipate her guest's needs.

'Well I consider myself a good hostess. I would never have considered before this thread to provide sanpro in our downstairs loo. There is a bin, spare loo roll, towel and soap.'
Wonderful. You have anticipated and catered for the possible needs of all the male visitors to your home and most of the female visitors.

JapaneseMargaret, a good hostess should have running water, a clean washbasin, a clean hand towel, soap, a toilet in operating order, toilet paper and new rolls clearly available for when the old one runs out, box of tissues, and sanpro in an obvious place such as a cupboard, on a shelf or in a drawer close to the toilet. The bathroom should be clean. There should be a lock on the door.
What would you personally like to find in a well equipped bathroom, JapaneseMargaret?

Slithytove, periods happen intermittently, twelve times a year, on average, and they happen to girls as young as 8. Very often girls or young teens run out of their sanpro of choice or they leave home without the necessary protection. It's not a situation like breastfeeding or adult incontinence which are ongoing experiences, and therefore anyone breastfeeding or having continence problems might be expected to be properly equipped.

Again, who said sanpro has to be 'on display'?

'Poor kid, obviously couldn't speak to her mum about it at the time. No wonder, she knew her mum would make a scene.'

How do we figure that one out?
Maybe the DD didn't like to interrupt the conversation between her mother and the OP with 'excuse me mum but do you have a spare pad or tampon?' Lots of teens do not like to draw attention to the fact that they have their period.

One of the major selling points of different brands of sanpro is how easy it is to hide the fact that you are menstruating.

There's no way I would automatically provide pads or towels in the stance of all this 'guest' stuff. Whilst I have a responsibility as a host, I expect them to have responsibility as a quest, as a person. Especially if they're only coming for dinner for gods sake! I always have a tampon in my bag. If I did get caught short I'd use a bit of loo roll but I wouldn't dare blame the hostess! Why would I? It's my fault!

Math

Tesco - she has no money and won't ask her mum, who is to blame? Tesco for not providing sanpro?

Restaurant - she has no money and won't ask her mum - as above?

It's not a difficult question even if it is embarrassing. Mum do you have a tampon. It should be part of the whole period talk and I think her mum is at fault there.

I have catered for the needs of my female visitors (albeit coincidentally) they would just need to ask, or rummage in the family bathroom.

I agree that the menstruating person, or her guardian if not old enough have the responsibility for their own sanitary needs, not the owner of the place they are visiting.

Math, it seems it needs to be on display for the many people who would not rummage in other peoples cupboards.

Also, you didn't answer my question. Do you have these requirements of households with no women in? Is there an age limit?

If I got caught short, (and I would be glad my mum was there in OPs scenario) I would stick the loo roll down my knickers, and then quietly, ask to speak to my mum. Then how she handled it would be up to her. Hopefully she would have had the foresight to provide sanpro - it's certainly more her responsibly than a host who may have no menstruating women in the house at all!

Okayyyyy, she has no money and she is out and about. Quite clearly she is going to have to take off a sock and use it.

But in this case she wasn't out shopping or hiking in the Lake District or surfing on the beaches of Sligo. She was in a home where another woman lives and presumably has or once had periods and considers herself a decent hostess. The home had toilet paper that nobody has to interrupt a conversation to ask for or ask the hostess for a certain amount and advertise whether they are going to pee or poo, so why was the home not equipped with discreetly available pads or tampons too?

I already posted my thoughts on whether single men should have sanpro available for female guests. And an age limit for what? I don't think you get off the hook wrt being a considerate host or hostess because of sex or age.

Let me guess -- she has no sock...

I will tell my grandad (83) when I next visit that I am disgusted with his lack of feminine hygiene products! sorry I missed your previous replies on that one.

I think it's likely that in the case of the mum and daughter in the OP, that there are other situations where the dd would be unprepared, hence my examples. I'm just wondering who is to blame then since you don't seem to place any responsibility whatsoever on the menstruators themselves.

And in fairness, isn't your talk of a home where another woman lives and presumably has or once had periods and considers herself a decent hostess irrelevant, since you expect the same from single men?

OMG what would she do if she didn't have a sock. We know she can't ask her mum perhaps this will be a lesson to her to always take a sneaky emergency tampon.

Good lesson to learn really. I used to tuck one in my bra if I didn't have a bag.

Has anyone started getting ads for sanpro on the side of the page yet?

In all seriousness, I do feel sorry for the teenager in the OP, I've been there.

I don think OP is at fault, and I don't think it's unreasonable to NOT have guest sanpro. I do think the mum in the OP was unreasonable and rude. I would not expect to go anywhere and have sanitary products provided for me.

That being said, it's an interesting thread, and it's certainly not going to do me any harm to stick a decorative wooden box on the downstairs loo cistern with a few tampons and a pad in. I wouldn't bother for the family bathroom since it's cluttered enough but people can rummage there. plus I can go and buy a decorative wooden box

OK, so you've ticked off a random list of requirements in the bathroom, math.

But that's not a definitive list of things a guest should expect from a good hostess, is it?

What about, off the top of my head:

House slippers
Plasters
Nappies
Nappy bags
Glucose tablets for the visiting son of a diabetic friend
Earl grey tea, because random person X doesn't drink regular
Ibuprofen because unprepared person Y has a headache and doesn't like paracetemol
Paracetemol because pregnant person Z can only take that.

See what I mean...?

There is no definitive list. You cannot anticipate every single thing a person visiting your house might need.

It was the mother's responsibility to have this covered, not the OP's.

In any case, as a daughter I'd be FAR more embarrassed by the Mum's text, than resorting to a wodge of loo roll...

in my bathroom - you get water - maybe some liquid soap - use body wash if not, and possibly a towel - or wipe hands on whatever is hanging on the back of the door

there may or may not be toilet roll - its a hit and miss situation which all people incl. guests need to check out before begining.

i dont have periods so i'll be fucked if i'm buying any one else any

i do have pile cream - guests can have some if they wish

there is always a book and a magazine ( the latter is often used in lieu of toilet roll tbh.)

I have never expected sanitary products to be provided for me, and you're right, it is totally the cultural norm to carry our own.

However, I do have a "guest box" in the downstairs loo, with small a selection of different pads and towels, and a larger one up in the family bathroom.

I have 2 teenage daughters, and one day a few years ago realised I had 8 girls in my house who were around period-starting age, and as they all spent a lot of time round here, odds are that at some point it will happen here. I just wanted to make things as easy for them as possible.

My eldest has mentioned that a couple of friends have commented on it being a nice thing to do.

If it wasn't for the steady stream of hormonal teens though, I probably never would have thought of it!

I was using super plus tampons at the age of 16. A regular tampon would've lasted all of ten minutes. With that in kind are these guest tampons supposed to be a variety of absorbencies? I use non applicator ones, should the guest ones be applicator ones? Both?

Presumably I also need to provide towels/pads too, as not everyone uses tampons. But what size? Slim ones in case the guest is wearing teeny pants. Ones with wings. How about those weird shaped ones for thong wearers.

No.

I do think this thread has raised some interesting questions about what is appropriate to provide for guests.

So the real question is: should you leave a penis beaker on their night stand