AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

[EasyCube]

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

Dammit Lobster Now I'm doubting my anti Guest Tampon stance. That does sound a nice and reasonable thing to do.

Only if you also provide a neatly folded sex towel alongside it Slithy

I could do a sex basket. Penis beaker, sex towel, condoms (assorted of course) lube, saucy DVD... Anything I've missed?

I'm glad I know how to be a good hostess now.

Guest sanitary protection? Really? Mad.

Mind you, I suppose if I had a guest loo (I don't) I might consider leaving some in there, because I might need to use it at short notice, but I'm not buying special stuff that I don't use for other people to use!
I do keep pads in my bedroom, not the bathroom, because I put them in when I get dressed, which I do in my bedroom.
I keep tampons in the bathroom because I don't put those in while getting dressed. They are there in the cupboard drawer, if someone needed them, they could look for them.

I think the DD's embarrassment here is the least of the problems in this whole scenario, it's the weirdness of the newish friend, suggesting that somehow the OP has caused the DD's embarrassment and that the OP should clearly take steps to rectify this! Otherwise why bother mentioning it?

It's definitely not a "thing" that I've ever heard of, ever.

And I'm still PMSL over the "shameless plug" for the mooncup - not sure if that was deliberate or not but it made me roar!

Coumarin, how long would a wad of toilet paper have lasted you at 16?

Its just so easy to have a good and varied selection of things in the loo for someone to use when they visit either for a cuppa or a couple of weeks and there's no need for a big arrow and sign highlighting where they are. People are generally savvy enough to see a basket or container sitting close to hand and to understand why they are there and who they are for, and that even includes people wanting to have a quick freshen up using a different product to what they might have with them - just because they can.

Our house goes like a fair for various reasons and I also have things including spare new clothes such as dressing gowns, undies, t-shirts, shorts and excercise trousers available for people who's luggage may have been lost en-route or mis-packed. Its nice to be able to say to a person when they're probably feeling very flustered - don't worry, we can sort this out till your bags get arrive, or we get to the shops.

For me having to deal with it when its happening and then perhaps not being able to deal with it isn't a situation I want to put myself and others in if I can help it.

Im still of the opinion however that the woman in the OP was very rude to phone her friend and say what she did.

If you visit someone or go to stay with them just enjoy the experience and be thankful you have someone to call a friend and be with.

Oh I see, JapaneseMargaret -- a trick question. You wanted a definitive list but according to you there is no such thing . You got me there..
I provided a list of basics a female guest or resident might like to find in a bathroom. Not a random list. Some of the items on the list would be suitable for male bathroom users too. Toilet in working order is for peeing or pooing in and then flushing, tp is for wiping and spare tp is there without having to ask for it if you run out. The running water is for hand washing afterwards, ditto soap, and the hand towel is for drying hands. Sanpro is for those times when female guests may need some but for some reason don't want to have to ask the hostess, any more than they would want to or should have to ask the hostess for tp or soap or a hand towel. It's all very basic.

I asked my teen dd what she would do in the situation the OP describes. She told me it has happened and she had just asked and been given what she needed. Seems pretty simple to me. I can understand if you have lots of guests staying for a while and they might be in a luggage misplaced situation, but that really isn't most people's experience. I only really have family staying and should they be short of anything I'd just lend/give them my stuff.

I have never stayed at a hotel that provided sanitary towels or tampons, nor can I recall visiting anyone with an obvious guest supply (basket, container or handy drawer). The only time I can recall this type of set up was staying in an upmarket B&B which prided itself on providing absolutely anything you might possibly require. Seemed a bit OTT to me, but that was a part of their thing.

When I was a teenager my periods were totally irregular and heavy. I had a fair few loo paper type events as I recall, although pads were so useless that the protection was probably not that different.

No, math, it's not a trick question. That's my point.

You're implying - well, actually stating outright - that it's remiss of a hostess not to anticipate everything a guest in one's house might need. I'm saying that it's impossible to do just that.

OK, fine, let's all start putting out sanpro for guest use. But the point remains that all the guests that come through your house could well be totally sorted on that front, but in need of something else. And apparently, you're a failure 'as a hostess' if you don't front up with that myriad, and indefinable, list of goods.

I think that's faintly ridiculous.

When people come to my house, they get well fed and watered; if it's the evening, they get good food and plied with alcohol. Otherwise, tea/coffee and as many biccies as they can eat. However, seemingly this counts for nothing, on the hostess front, if there isn't a bowl of tampons in the loo. Bizarre!

My DD wouldn't have stressed because she knows I keep her emergency supplies in my handbag. You could ask this girls mum why she doesn't do the same.

Oh do you know, that's the best response yet.
"I'm sorry, did you not have any emergency tampons in your own bag for her, just in case? I always have emergency tampons with me for situations just like this, I don't expect other people to cater for my sanpro needs"

But only if you're sure you don't want her a a friend. Which I wouldn't, frankly.

japanese margaret has nailed it. You cannot cater for all eventualities and the choice of sanpro is very personal indeed. To attempt to cater to every passing person is the way to madness and a hugely cluttered house. Plus, in the age of 24 hour supermarkets in many areas it is indeed "trying too hard* and is more than a little ridiculous.
There is a film where the bathroom cabinet is stocked with marbles which tumble out when a mosey guest is snooping around the place. I recommend OP invites wired pal around and does just that. You ask before you go prying around someone's bathroom or any other room.

I have well-stocked cupboards in my loos - tissues, wipes, loo cleaner, loo roll, tampons etc - and anyone is free to use them. Most of my friends seem to have well-stocked loos. It's not uncommon to want your guests to be well cared for.

However, I don't expect to receive complaints about the failings of my hospitality! That's just rude!

I can't believe there are people who think that everyone should have guest tampons on display in a neat little basket just in case a guest gets caught out. I actually wouldn't (knowingly) have someone who thought like that in my house as I doubt they'd cope with the chaos. (And they certainly wouldn't cope with not having a lock on the bathroom door).

At 16 I might have been to embarrassed to ask a host I suppose so I would have whispered to my mum who would have asked her friend.

What about if we visit an all male household? Are they meant to provide a basket if sanitary towels & tampons as well? Or just laydees?

*too

And I am quite happy for someone to ask me if I have any in (usually - but I use reusable sanpro as well, so not necessarily), I'm also quite happy for someone to poke around in the bathroom to see if they can find any. Maybe, but it might be reusable. I'm not about to stock neat little guest baskets of anything though.

Ds1 does occasionally wave a tampon in my face as a communication aid (they're different colours so he can grab one as a quick aid to talking about different data of the week). That could give someone a shock. Regular tampon waved in your face along with some shouting -'oh he's telling you he has school on Monday'.

The only person at fault here is the guest who thought it appropriate to complain that her daughter couldn't find any sanpro in the bathroom.

And the idea that single men should have sanpro in their bathroom is, frankly, ridiculous.

Should they also have a variety of spare knickers, because if you need emergency sanpro, chances are you need clean knickers.

It's not easy to cover every eventuality, it costs money and there are infinite numbers of eventualities.

I never use tampons but to avoid being a bad person I need to buy applicator tampons and non applicator tampons, at least 2 absorbances each so 4 boxes. Carry this to the conclusion I also need to buy nail polish remover, lipstick in various colours, same with nail polish, blusher, foundation and powder also in all colours. Variety of deodorant just in case the one I use isn't suitable. As for clothes where am I going to get the money to buy clothes in all sizes and where am I going to store it.

Don't get me wrong guests would be welcome to use what I do have and can borrow my clothes if they fit but I cannot afford to buy all the extras. Add to that there are MNers always ready to jump and flame the poor for mis spending yet your supposed to spend all this on money on stuff ypu won't use.

At least one person has asserted that men should indeed stock sanpro in their homes. And I think they said it with a straight face!
It's all about personal responsibility. Theses days sanpro is small and easily carried in a handbag/purse etc. and in an emergency you use loo roll and throw your knickers away when you get home.
A lot of "I'm the better person because I go ott and stock up on all manner of items just in case and you are unreasonable not to even consider that a teen visiting for the first time might require a tampon".
Back in the day I used Max absorbency tampons and night pads. Would I have been unreasonable not to also have slimmer tampons, which would be no use to me, just in case a teen needed them?
If so, I don't care. I catered for my specific menstrual needs and funnily enough thought that others should do the same.

"I catered for my specific menstrual needs and funnily enough thought that others should do the same."

Exactly Katie!

But she was a guest in someone's home, and therefore had a right to think that her basic needs should be catered for by a good hostess, including the need to be able to help herself discreetly to sanpro. It wasn't biology that embarrassed her. It was another woman's inability to be a good hostess and anticipate her guest's needs.

Ha ha ha - that's the most fucking funniest thing I have ever heard.

You should be on stage Math. Seriously. You are a fucking hoot.

Anyway she did cater - she had loo roll which was balled up and used in the emergency that the OP's guest's daughter had. Like anyone else in an emergency would do.

I always had a spare in my bag no matter what because [yes - wait for it] it's MY responsibility to cater for my own periods! Yes, I know - un - real.

What is it these days that people can't take responsibility for themselves? Everything is always someone else's fault.

owlcapone has it for me. This is a fab thread - definitely should be in classics as it totally encapsulates Mumsnet. Only on MN would someone suggest that single men should stock their homes with "sanpro".

If stocking every type of sanpro for guests is right, then I wanna be wrong.

Bloody hell. I can barely remember to get the milk in for when people come round.

I live in a household with a non-menstruating female (me) and 3 boys.

Inspired by this thread, I dug out an old lil-lets tin - it holds 6 or so small non-applicator slim tampons, (about 3 years old!) and is a pretty, small, handbag-size tin. This I have put on the shelving unit in the bathroom, with the bath bombs/oil/bubbles/salts/creams etc. Looks v pretty (not sure any visiting female would recognise it as san-pro tho.) And, my bathroom being l-shaped, the shelves are round the corner from the loo, so not reachable.

But i tried. Anyone that wants a pad is stuck.

I think the point of the thread is that IF you are desperate to be all-things to all-people, then yes, provide san-pro, spare clothing, anti-venom and whatever else.

Other wise, accept that you are not a 'good' hostess. Whatever.