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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not have 'guest' sanitary protection in bathroom?

999 replies

EasyCube · 29/05/2014 18:16

Long story short, a relatively new friend and teenage daughter visited I later received a text

'Thank you for having us, unfortunately you have caused xxx embarrassment as she could not find the guest tampons and had to come home with toilet paper in her underwear'

Confused

Is this a thing? I have never once thought before that I should have pads/tampons in the bathroom, easily accessed by guests

My mum was great and I loved her a lot but we never talked about periods (I bought my own stuff from pocket money/paper round money) and now I'm wondering if this is just another thing I was never told about and feel a bit stupid to be honest Sad

Does everyone else have things available in the bathroom for guests? I'm thinking about other bathrooms I've been in and can't say I've noticed this before?

OP posts:
mummy1973 · 29/05/2014 20:54

No I don't provide guest sanpro. I have some in upstairs and downstairs Loos in a basket so if a guest needs to they are welcome to use. I'd never assume a friend would have any if I was caught short at their house (but you normally carry a spare at the bottom of the handbag surely)?
She was very rude. Maybe she meant "poor dd got caught out and was too embarrassed to ask you and only told me when we got home"

EBearhug · 29/05/2014 20:55

I've always carried spare tampons with me since I first started, but I've still been caught out a few times. Usually I've made do with toilet roll (I remember reading a book as a young teenager, may have been a Judy Blume, where the girl in it made do with toilet paper when caught short. That had never occurred to me before, and it seemed a very brilliant idea, if you're caught out.) No way would I have admitted it to my mother, and certainly not to anyone else's mother.

But I'm not taking up the idea of guest sanpro. By the time you've catered for people who prefer pads with wings, pads without wings, extra long pads, tampons with applicators, tampons without applicators, each in a range of absorbencies, to cater for all possible requirements of menstruating friends - well, it can cost enough to keep myself in pads and tampons, let alone others who might not ever actually need them, because they're sensible enough to carry their own stuff around. They're welcome to use what I have if they need it, but it's not coming in cushioned baskets with little ribbons.

I just have to live with being a terribly bad, inconsiderate hostess.

SalopianGirl · 29/05/2014 20:55

Guest tampons! Is that like a pub having "guest beers"?
OP, maybe you could artfully decorate a blackboard and have it propped up in your bathroom? You could write on it ," this week's guest sanpro is Always Ultra with wings".
That should keep your new "friend" and her daughter happy!

intheenddotcom · 29/05/2014 20:56

Whilst I don't have 'guest' products, mine are easily accessible and I would not mind a guest, particularly a teenage girl helping themselves to one without asking. It is a bit strange for her to expect this though and tell you!?! Surely more embarrassing for the girl!

CorusKate · 29/05/2014 20:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gorionine · 29/05/2014 20:58

*She was very rude. Maybe she meant "poor dd got caught out and was too embarrassed to ask you and only told me when we got home"

Wouldn't any any text relating to her period be even more embarrassing for the DD though?

grumpasaur · 29/05/2014 20:59

How batty!!! God i don't even expect my own mother to have guest tampons when I fly to CANADA to visit her. I would respond to her "my apologies- I guarantee it won't happen again, as I now regret inviting you and your spineless daughter round in the first place, and certainly won't make that mistake again."

She sounds loopy.

AllMimsyWereTheBorogroves · 29/05/2014 20:59

SalopianGirl, Grin! My daughter tells me that I sound as though my larynx has failed.

FidelineandFumblin · 29/05/2014 20:59

Ebear As if it needs baskets and ribbons! Any old pad is better than loo roll in an emergency. Guest san pro is just san pro that is accessible to guests.

FidelineandFumblin · 29/05/2014 21:01

Arf @ salopian

gorionine · 29/05/2014 21:01

SalopianGirl Brilliant! I know feel an urge to invest in a blackboard for the toilet!

ShoeWhore · 29/05/2014 21:01

Snort salopien

I'm wondering where this guest provision would end? Guest condoms, nappies, toothbrushes, hayfever remedies, pile cream... I use none of these - could get expensive Shock

FidelineandFumblin · 29/05/2014 21:03

your spineless daughter

grump what a really unpleasant way to refer to a shy teenage girl too embarrassed to ask for san pro Angry

Botanicbaby · 29/05/2014 21:04

What a nightmare text from this friend, wholly inappropriate to send such a rude text. Even if she thought she was in the right (she isn't), she should have mentioned it to you in person. She sounds like a drama queen and someone who will be pain in the arse over anything and everything.

She should teach her daughter to ask politely for sanitary protection if she was caught short whilst at someone's house. It is nothing to be embarrassed about. She should not be blaming you.

Were they staying overnight or not? Usually when I have guests staying overnight, I point them in the direction of where things are in the bathroom/bedrooms that they might need. But I wouldn't feel obliged to provide specific sanitory protection solely for 'guest use'.

Botanicbaby · 29/05/2014 21:05

*sanitary

SolidGoldBrass · 29/05/2014 21:06

Yes, the main thing is how rude and agressive the text is. The woman is basically shaming the OP and telling her off - she clearly feels entitled to tell the OP what to do and how to behave and will make a shit friend.

FidelineandFumblin · 29/05/2014 21:06

But I wouldn't feel obliged to provide specific sanitory protection solely for 'guest use'.

botanic specific san pro ring-fenced for guests would just be mad

gorionine · 29/05/2014 21:09

specific san pro ring-fenced for guests would just be mad
Am I the only one who understood that this was exactly what the woman complained about ? that there was no tampons specifically for guests?

FidelineandFumblin · 29/05/2014 21:10

I took to mean easily accessible to guests (without shy teen having to ask)

reallywittyname · 29/05/2014 21:11

YANBU, your friend is weird and should know better esp for a 2.5hour visit!

However... I have got a "guest basket" in the Guest Bathroom Blush but the sanpro is at the bottom underneath cotton wool balls and spare soap and cotton buds and little bottles of naice shampoo and shower gel that I've nicked from hotels and cba to use but would feel guilty about throwing away. And it's basic sanpro, ie normal pads and yellow tampax. And there is a tiny discreet little note saying please don't put sanpro down the loo because of the reed bed. Although I have since learned that it is Not Done anywhere to flush them away.

I just thought, what if it was me staying in someone's house and I came on a day early and it was the middle of the night and everyone was in bed or whatever and I didn't want to wake anyone up to ask but equally not bleed all over the bedding. Hence the guest sanpro. Am I a twat?

ToysRLuv · 29/05/2014 21:12

I think she meant any easily found or visible.. rather than ones in a flowery basket or in a tub marked "for visitors". In any case, the mother is a bit bonkers.

Portlypenguin · 29/05/2014 21:13

No guest supplies here. I've had friends come down and say they they had raided the bathroom cupboard to find towels/tampons. Thats fine by me!

goodasitgets · 29/05/2014 21:13

I don't really know... I think because I've known my friends so long and we lived together at Uni we have sort of developed our own rules. One friend says she's hungry, goes to rummage and produces a lovely meal so I don't complain about being cooked for Grin
The other will ask "can I eat this?"
Mainly I'm just lazy and it saves me doing any actual hostess stuff Wink

captainmummy · 29/05/2014 21:14

I haven't had a period in 2 years, have 3 boys and probably not got any sanpro in the house, let alone in the bathroom !

MrsCripps · 29/05/2014 21:17

I use a Mooncup - not sharing !
YANBU !