to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

[BauerTime]

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

Yet another - ordered two vodka and oranges to be delivered at same time and got stroppy with waiter when asked if he wanted them in same glass. Had terrible sex later - despite his big ego, willy was small and floppy.

Another - a priest I shagged all night actually got up, put his dog collar on and went to preach to the masses about the benefits of a sin free life.

Also - Mr Ugly Yellow Toenails who kept scratching me with them. Also, he used to try and fuck me in the morning without cleaning his teeth - ugh.

Jeez - how could I forget the buck toothed bloke with the David Baddiel t shirt?

He was too mean to buy curtains so had blankets hanging from the windows.

He was equal stingy regarding sex - he would shoot his bolt but never satisfy me. I had a wank out of sheer frustration and he told me off for disturbing his neighbours with my... Ahem... Vocalising...

Love my husband but -

He sneezes loudly and claims not to be able to suppress them.

Fancies Rachel out of Friends.

Wears two pairs of socks at all times.

Spends hours on the loo.

Talked about himself in 3rd person and snapped and pointed his fingers like fonze every time he made a joke

Another one used to wank into a sock (in front of me) and put it back I'm the drawer. I was 17, i didn't realise this wasn't normal until I asked a friend!

Four words. Knife like a pen...

God this thread is funny, I've only just found it - may be resurrecting it!

Ok.... He kept texting me constantly and they were all epic essays about how much he liked me. Getting close to bunny boiler levels

He liked Vanilla Ice at the age of 36

He referred to his bum as his bum bum

All of the above was the same guy

Would scrape fork across his plate (ears are bleeding recalling this) and put his knife in his mouth.

It was def over when I saw him put his hand in a bowl of peanuts, ram peanuts down his goblet, then shove pretty much his entire hand back in his mouth to lick off salt, and then..put his saliva ridden claws back into the peanut bowl. I could only watch on in horror.

Lady hands/wrists
Sloping shoulders

I also once asked someone to tell me something about himself that no-one else knew. I was expecting him to show his sensitive side and reveal some deep and meaningful thoughts about how he views himself and life in general.

He told me that sometimes when he's in the shower, he likes to stick the shower head up his arse.

First time he took his clothes off I was so disappointed - knock knees, massive flat feet, skinny waist and curved shoulders. Bad acne on his back. Russet pubes and wonky willy.

He had a gap where his upper right 2 tooth should have been - said it was his nipple nibbler

This thread is hilarious!!

Mine,

Grabbed one of my boobs and made a honk honk noise.

Claimed that once you've seen one pair of tits you've seen them all. Eh?

Poor personal hygiene. Went to give him a blow job and noticed loads of smeg around his foreskin. I abandoned that very quickly.

Way too keen. Kept dropping hints about getting engaged as he was at the right age to get engaged.

Small chubby hands. I didn't actually notice till my Mum pointed them out and then I couldn't bear him touching me with them.

Turned down a date with a really gorgeous bloke because his teeth were awful. All black and broken. Shame cos he was fit as fuck.

Micro penis.

I ended cause of that once.

I dumped one because my mother liked him. He also wasn't that great looking so... Lol

Talked about himself too much.

Tried the line 'I thought I was gay but...'

Different blokes.

There was also the Irish bloke I shagged earlier this year, but didn't respond to his calls afterwards because I'd only actually shagged him as my 15yo self would have killed me for not shagging someone with an Irish accent when I got the chance to. Hearing 'you are so wonderful' in a Cork accent...

He was an amateur rally driver and drove like that normally.

Prat.

Didn't like the way he sucked his milkshake in BK .. gutted as he went onto marry my BF and is proper loaded whilst I am a single mum in a rented house.

BTW we are all still friends although don't think I ever confessed why I "chucked" him

Mine was when he said can you come over to mine, mammy has gone to mass so I dont have the car.

I realised he was sharing a car with his mother. It was bad enough living at home in his late thirties. It explained the reason for the tartan blankets folded neatly on the seats .ughhhhhhh

He turned up in suede trousers.

For buying me a huge bunch of flowers, right near the start of the 'relationship'. It creeped the bejaybus out of me.

Another one - his eyes started to freak me out.

Am I the only one who tried to make the noise of a pig sucking jelly through a straw? These are hilarious

Lemon coloured v-neck jumper, he was a Mod.

He grew up to be a handsome dude though!

Lovely lovely guy. Gorgeous. When he walked towards me my knees felt weak. Entertaining, energetic, older (he was at uni I was at school) but the slobber (boak).
I had to stay with him because I'd dumped a really nice guy for him. Wasn't worth it.
My friends had the same issue with him.

Couldn't bear his surname, which included 'cock'

Apologies to any MNers with such a name.

I was seeing a guy who turned out to know some gossipy people who knew my parents. I didn't want to be gossiped about, and somehow I obviously didn't like him enough to ignore this although he was very nice.