Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask what is the most trivial reason you have ended a relationship

672 replies

BauerTime · 28/05/2014 17:05

Mine is for referring to the 69 position as 'summer of 69ing' and condoms ss 'rubber johnnies'.

It just made my skin crawl and there was no coming back from that!

OP posts:
jellybelly701 · 19/08/2014 12:16

He decided to explain in detail what our house and children would look like and Admitted to having a wank before came to see me so he could last longer. I dumped him around two months in.

I've been dumped twice for having tiny breasts.

Patrickstarisabadbellend · 19/08/2014 12:20

He always had crusty snot around his nostrils and a duet neck. I actually slept with this person.

Wtf...

Patrickstarisabadbellend · 19/08/2014 12:23

Dirty neck. Bastard autocorrect!

flanjabelle · 19/08/2014 12:24

He had a weird paranoia that he would shit himself. No medical reason for it. He would ask me a few times a day, 'have I shit myself?' whilst turning around to show me his bum. I asked him not to do it as it made me feel uncomfortable. He didn't stop so I ended it. Very weird.

Icelollycraving · 19/08/2014 12:26

He smelt of sausages. He wrote a cheque to pay for our cinema tickets. He was too available. He took me to ikea for a date. Actually he didn't,he started driving there & I shouted take me home,take me home,take me home!!
He was a really nice man. He was really very nice but so dull. I met a real shit the same day that I dumped him, got my comeuppance there.

Gangie · 19/08/2014 12:28

Cream jeans! (And pencil like willy - long and thin....shudder Confused)

BearsDontDigOnDancing · 19/08/2014 13:15

He had one eye, very very very slightly larger than the other.

Once I noticed it though, that was it. Every time I looked at him it seemed to get bigger and bigger!

JackieBrambles · 19/08/2014 13:20

We went out for dinner and he paid for his half with a cheque. And this was in 2004 or something so not as if paying with chip and pin was out of the question.

MissFenella · 19/08/2014 13:27

He walked with his head cocked to one side and used the word savoury incorrectly

I saw a photo of him and suddenly realised what he looked like

His shoulders were too square

GilbertBlytheWouldGetIt · 19/08/2014 13:53
  1. He had hundreds of Star Wars figurines still in their packaging - too many to fit on a shelf, so he'd rigged up indoor washing lines and pegged them onto it. Confused
  1. Went on about all the other women he fancied, on our first date. When I challenged him, said it was because he didn't want me to get big-headed! Arse.
  1. He got fairly drunk on an afternoon date (2nd date), then told me he had to go to work that evening, but would I give him a blow-job behind the train station first? Er, no! He had a stupid surname anyway.
EllaJayne123 · 19/08/2014 13:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

weatherall · 19/08/2014 14:04

Postcode

perthmom · 19/08/2014 14:17

Strange walk, like kind of gay-like, but not quite mincing.
Have regretted it ever since as he was the nicest guy I've ever known.

owlborn · 19/08/2014 14:24

He owned a pair of purple tie dye trousers and wore them in public. It just killed all desire stone dead. I suspect that was just a symptom of a greater lack of desire, however, as DH has worn some pretty dodgy things over the years (being a bit of a flouncy old goth) and I've only ever rolled my eyes.

I also once dumped someone because my birthday and Valentine's Day are v close together (couple of days apart) and he told me he hadn’t got me a proper birthday present because he was saving his money for Valentine's Day. He picked wrong!

Chattymummyhere · 19/08/2014 16:11
  1. for being a geek
  2. for being too hands on
  3. for not having sex
  4. tiny dick
  5. too fat
NamesNick · 19/08/2014 16:15

he only wanted me to lick or tweak his nipples.

despite my best moves I just could not get the guy to have sex with me.

spent a whole weekend om his nipples thinking 'wtf am I doing'

he couldn't understand why I wouldn't see him again after that.

shame..as he had a lot going for him in several other areas

NamesNick · 19/08/2014 16:20

omg now you've opened up a can of worms. same guy same night.

eyed me up like a prize cow smacking my legs and arse to feel the meat...told me I was to skinny...undressed me and proceeded to Dry fucking hump me while he wore his green boxers.

CarryOn90 · 19/08/2014 17:23

Why isn't this in classics yet??

Snapespeare · 19/08/2014 21:11

Yay at thread resurrection!

Used to say [name] of [band] eg 'Debbie Harry of blondie', 'topper headon, of the clash', 'Paul McCartney, of the Beatles' he was a huge muso and thought I knew nothing.

Had a tattoo of musical notes, with the round bits facing the wrong way.

Didn't go down on me until EIGHT WEEKS into the relationship.

When I said I couldn't go out on a child free weekend, as I had to write an essay for my OU course, phoned me every half an hour to try to convince me to go to the pub.

Invited me round for dinner. Made mince and tatties. This was the only thing he could cook.

When I dumped him, he never acknowledged my presence again, which as we worked in the same building was a bit annoying. 'Happy new year [insert name]' silent smirk in return. Gah.

All the same bloke.

Rokenswife · 19/08/2014 22:05

He collected Buffy merchandise and wouldn't open any of it.
He wore hiking boots all the time.
He wore a Claddagh (sp?) ring.
He wore a long leather coat.

DH is starting to really piss me off with his trivial things:
He slurps and gnashes his teeth together when he eats cereal.
The face he pulls when he's angry.
He leaves the loo roll on top of the cistern (why???!!!)
The way he cleans his ears with cotton buds.
The way he puts sugar in a cup.

I could go on.

FetchezLaVache · 19/08/2014 23:06

One tried to pass off song lyrics as poems he'd written himself.

One guy I'd fancied for ages took me back to his flat, where the only books he had were WWF wrestling form guides. Still attempted to shag him, as he was very good looking and I was going through a very long dry spell, but when he took his shirt off to reveal a Donald Duck tattoo, I just couldn't.

One guy refused to believe that I could possibly understand the rules of cricket on the grounds that I am a "filly". When I demonstrated that I did, he phoned his brother to tell him.

And one whose endowment was a similar length and girth to my index finger, and lasted about 19 seconds. To add insult to injury, he had a ridiculously hairy back, which went cold and wet with the post-coital sweat, and tried to get me to spoon him as we fell asleep. On the first and last night we spent together.

comediewithme · 19/08/2014 23:15

He spelled 'subtle' with two T's, no B.

FiftyShadesOfGreen4205 · 19/08/2014 23:22

The first (and last) time I stayed over, he pissed the bed.

Greyhound · 19/08/2014 23:42

He kept telling me, in a put on foreign accent, that his dick was "beeg, uh?!" (It wasn't)

Another guy - his nose was a funny shape and he told me his flat feet meant he had to wear Dr Scholl sandals at school.

Another guy - he said he'd had sex with a sofa.

Yet another - I heard a rumour that one of his testicles had been removed and replaced with a ball bearing (ok, I was 15).

valrhona · 19/08/2014 23:44

He "taught" me how to dry myself in the shower cubicle (just use one quarter & rotate) so that a towel would then last for a week, and then another week on the floor.

He didn't see the difference between good bread and cheap bread. And why a little of the former is better than buckets of the latter.

He didn't like it when I spent time reading.

I had a mohair jumper (90's) and he berated me for cruelty "the poor Moes"

Same guy.

Met him 5 years later and he was still pissed off with me for dumping him Hmm