to think if your staying with a vegan you wouldn't bring meat into the house

[brt100]

Hi,

Have a few people staying with me, one of them bought back some greasy fried chicken the other night. I thought oh well thats a bit impolite and rude especially as she wanted to eat it inside with my plates are cutlery. But I let it slip and washed up said dishes and had to dispose of the remains myself as she just left them in the lounge smelling.

Now this morning she's bought some sausages to cook on my pan. I put my foot down to this as she's super messy and would get animal fat all over the place.

Apparently its my fault as I'm a vegan it makes her crave meat.

Just to add I'm not a pushy vegan, I say nothing about it and she's the one that keeps asking stupid things like "don't you miss x and y, I couldn't do it"

Also I live in a town centre with 20+ places to eat within a 10 min walk

Me too suburban

How much meat and dairy and eggs do people actually eat that a couple of days is such a huge deal and something to point prove about by getting take aways?

I make 2 or three vegan meals a week through choice (as I fancy it) or by "accident" I make vegan pancakes that are the best pancakes I've ever had.

I garuntee you that aside from margarine or butter on toast that people eat plenty of vegetarian food or even vegan food without realising.

Its food and perfectly good food at that. And needs fro stop being seen as some punishment for a non existant crime.

I think you should be reconsidering this friendship. She appears to have no respect for you personally or for your moral principles whatsoever.

I wouldn't dream of bringing animal products into a vegan's home and wanting to cook meat in it is beyond the bloody Pale.

Get shot.

I agree that the friend was being u. I've been vegan for many years my husband and oldest are carnivores. Youngest (21) has become vegan this past year, eats all my fecking food, but that's another story. I cook meat, even steak..shudder..for hubby and guests. However I have my own pans that I would NEVER allow meat, eggs, etc to be cooked in. I think using cutlery and dishes are different from cooking pots. The boys have there own grill and I have mine. I would be disgusted if they used my pots and would have to replace them. The thought of animal from sausages splattered over ghost cooker would disgust me. The meat is cooked on grills or the 'meat' actifry to prevent splatter.

When I was working nights I used to have meat eaters doing agency/bank who felt it was their right to 'educate' me. Where do you get your protein, vitamins? One felt the need to tell me she wouldn't "eat that shit" while stuffing her face with crisps and chocolate bars when she was offered one of the home made vegan pizzas that I would make on occasion for the other half dozen workers. I think my workmates were more furious than I. I just laughed loudly and walked away. The same worker complained constantly about not being able to loose weight.

I used to be a vegetarian, and one of my housemates used to cook his greasy beef steak in MY wok.

Omg, the stink. He never washed it properly, and never got his own pan- it was disgusting. I threw it out in the end as it seemed contaminated - I never eat beef.

I think if you have friends around, they are also your friend, and by expecting you to clear up for her, she isn't being a very good friend to you.

Maybe time to cool the relationship if she's so disrespectful and expects you to wait on her hand and foot.

Otoh, vegetarians and vegans can become a little self righteous, and hyper vigilant about meat and dairy, (as the sense of smell is excellent) so do be careful you're not judging her too harshly. She may have other stuff going on that you don't know anything about.

Animal fat from sausages

That's a shame, midnite, but if it were me, I'd have definitely said something after the first meal. Perhaps you need to be a bit more assertive with your friends .

Of course a good host asks about preferences, but your post implied that it is mainly vegetarians who "insist" (your word) on pushing food on guests that they don't like.

Yanbu.
Your friend isn't being much of one (friend that is).

Vegan friends I knew years ago insisted on different washing up bowls for vegetarians and vegans, as was their perogative.

Where the feck did ghost cooker come from? Must be haunted by the poor animals!

I'm too polite to say anything Rhonda lol. I ate what I could, then stopped for food on the way home. I do think the OPs friend was unreasonable, but I'm just trying to add another aspect to it.

It's certainly not just vegetarians that do it, all sorts do it. I have a friend who hates mushrooms (he has a minor reaction although is not a full allergy) and people keep trying to serve them to him in food, even though they know he doesn't want to eat them. I love mushrooms but I don't eat them when I go out with him as it's easier to stipulate 'no mushrooms' in anything rather than just in specific dishes. No one should be forced to eat anything they don't want to eat.

Otoh, vegetarians and vegans can become a little self righteous, and hyper vigilant about meat and dairy

See I disagree with that tbh.

I used to be vege and then vegan. I always just declined stuff politely and just ordered the appropriate meal in a restaurant. I wasn't interested in converting anyone or explains my reasons. However it was always the meat eaters that were bloody rude. Asking questions as to why I wouldn't eat something. "That's a shame you can't eat this it's amazing" whilst ticking into cream drenched desserts. I knew people ate meat. I cooked it for them at times as it was part of my job. I sat and joined in conversations in restaurants. I didn't position myself away from meat eaters or leather wearers etc. All I wanted to do was eat my meal not be probes and probes until I have in depth reasons as to why I didn't. Cos believe me "because I don't want to" or "I don't like it" was never frickin good enough because you can't accuse a vege for inflicting views on people without an actual answer can you

Venus. I know some can be like that. I warned my nephew not to preach when he became vegetarian as many NEW veggies/vegans can. Doesn't bleeden listen. Started uni this year and Greenpeace, animal rights, you name it he's joined it. Hopefully he'll settle down.

I don't advertise that I'm vegan but by ffs I certainly get yapped to by the meat eaters when they do find out. It's as if they feel judged by the mere fact I'm a vegan.

Yanbu. Meat eaters can eat vegan food, they eat grains, veg, fruit, tofu.
Other way round not so.
I don't cook meat for people. This would upset me a lot. Filing the house with the reek of meat. She can eat meat when out but not meat at yours. There is no reason for her to.

If she cooks and cleans up after herself then I'd be fine with it.

You cannot insist she follows a vegan diet just because she is staying with you. I went to the wedding of a vegan couple a few weeks ago but the cake, buffet, meal were all non-vegan and they just had a few special things made for them.

its better - Why should they though? It's YOUR choice not theirs. Also, not all meat eaters can eat vegan food - I'm intolerant to soya and most legumes and since most vegan meals contain one or the other could not eat them.

Best thing I heard on veganism was a girl being praised for doing all the work herself and NEVER forcing her views on others.

You are so right Giles. Just fecking let me eat my meal without asking the same mundane questions and feeling the need to tell me I'm missing out not having the delicious meat dish.

You cannot insist she follows a vegan diet just because she is staying with you.

Would you say the same to someone with allergies, or who only eats Kosher, intheend.

Or does your rule only apply to vegetarians and vegans?

Stay I think its good if he's become involved in Greenpeace/animal rights personally.

It's quite all right to believe in something strongly and not be afraid to be public about it.

It woukd be good if less people ate so much meat, and I think its a good message to spread.

soya and most legumes ... most vegan meals contain one or the other. Not in my house they don't.

About the "self-righteous" slur, I've been asked more times than I care to remember why I'm vegetarian.

Some of the reasons are to do with how I feel about the food industry and related issues. So if I explain that to a meat-eater, I can see how it might come over, even though I'm always polite.

Solution - don't fecking ask.

HTH.

We're a vegetarian family, and our rule is clear, NO MEAT OR FISH AT ALL in our home. All our family and friends know this, they know not to question in, and they know not to try and bend the rules.

I will not allow any of the kitchenware, crockery or cutlery in our home, to be tainted by animal products. If people can't respect that, they're not welcome in our home.

When we get invited to other homes for dinner, I ask if the host would like me to prepare a vegetarian dish to bring with me, as I don't want to put anyone out. No-one has ever taken me up on that offer, insisting they have invited us, so will prepare a suitable meal.

When people come to ours for dinner, they're able to eat the vegetarian food, as meat-eating humans are omnivores (meat and plant based diet), they're not carnivores who survive on meat alone!

I am a vegan, we run a vegan household and non vegan food is not allowed on our plates or pans, not just meat, dairy as well. We even bought a new oven in every home we rented so our oven would be vegan and not covered in animal fat.

Visitors are always asked what they want to eat and I wouldn't serve tofu for example if they hated it.

Veganism for me is not a food preference, it is an ethical issue. Eating meat or dairy in my house would be like me insisting I could go and use racist language in your home or conduct my satanist ceremony in the home of a Christian or defy kosher in the home of a strict Jew by cooking dairy in the meat pans. Of course I could be a knob and do any of these but it would be me who was at fault and not the person objecting to my rude and offensive behaviour.

Making guests feel comfortable is important of course but not if it violates deeply held ethical values of the hosts. Making a guest comfortable may mean pointing out the take away down the road where they can eat their meat in peace or choosing an omnivore restaurant to eat out in so that both you and your guest can eat according to your values. It does not mean allowing meat to be cooked in your home.

She was being appallingly rude. YANBU. I have many vegan friends and wouldn't dream of doing this.

And I completely agree with the poster upthread that pointed out that many people will regularly eat vegan without actually putting a label on it. If I served a lunch of hummus, home made herb flatbread and crudites, followed by a delicious cherry and cocunut icecream (made with coconut milk), most people would tuck in and enjoy it rather than go "Oooooh, it's vegan" with a face like a smacked arse.

Intheenddotcom. So you never eat peppers, tomatoes, courgettes, spuds, etc? I assume you never eat any fruit, veg, salad? After all they are dangerously vegan.

Oh and our wedding was vegetarian (and vegan) food only. We paid for it ourselves, as none of OUR money was going to the meat industry, and we only had three guests complain (DH's parents my uncle).

All three admitted they were wrong to kick up a fuss, as they loved the vegetarian food.

As for the vegan couple's wedding serving mainly non vegan food, I am amazed. We had a vegan wedding, all vegan food and people could put up or shut up, just as we put up and shut up at the weddings where we were served some green beans followed by a plate of strawberries, the 'vegan' option. At least noone went hungry at our wedding.