to not want to go into work tuesday

[zobey]

Went on a works night out last night and from what i remember i spent the night in the pubs with just my director of the company and he kept feeling my bum and inviting me back to his hotel room. Im sure he kept buying me drinks all night too. How can i make things better at work. I didnt go back to his. I see him a good few times a day but all my work coleges i think know what was happening as he kept telling them to go away if they came over.

Don't discuss it, don't be alone with him in social situations.

You ok op? Don't be despondent. It will be alright. X

Writer, it is a big deal to the op, or she wouldn't have posted.

I do think the OP should take some responsibility. She must have known how the alcohol was affecting her, but carried on drinking nevertheless.

I meant that as in although I know it's a big deal to the OP I wouldn't want it to turn into a big thing where she really does dread going into work. As another patter said, she isn't the first to get drunk at a works party and she wont be the last. I probably worded it wrongly but I meant that the OP shouldn't worry too much about it or feel bad about it. She should just go to work, find him, talk it out, laugh it off and make it clear that nothing else will happen between them. I'm sure it will be fine.

Im finding more and more out of people i work with. I think that i defo need to clear the air with him. I spilt a drink over his trousers and then started to mop it up with napkins when it was his crotch area. How woukd you word it to him and how would you go about the conversation?

I know im responasble as well, im just after some advice on how to clear the air and that.

Odfo

He was happy to pour drink down her throat and just see what happened. Or laugh at the result. I'm guessing he wouldn't have got her a cab home. I think he would have expected someone else to mop this up.

Some men just do this. It's a bit of a game. Keeping it light hearted drink his drink but keep an eye on things. No need to be nasty (yet). But be watchful. You are not the first or last. He's played with the others men and women. Doesn't mean he's a rapist. He's just a bit mean at drinking games.

It just keeps getting better.....

But on a serious note, maybe you should be asking why your friends stood back and watched all this happen knowing you were being plied with alcohol? It's worrying really that they didn't intervene and keep an eye out for you - was it just entertainment for them and now they're loving winding you up about it and 'filling you in' ??

Writer, I was just thinking the same thing!

Writer, now I agree with you. He was enjoying new sport. He does this with all staff, especially new ones. Everyone's been initiated. Now, you really are part of the club. It's not a black mark, don't panic. Happens lots of places. Me to 16yrs ago!

Minnieisthedevilmouse I don't entirely disagree with everything you're saying but you are kind of adding bits and using some very emotive language that really isn't helpful here.

For example, nobody 'poured drink down the OP's throat'

She is not a 'young girl'...she is a 25yr old woman.

Sorry but this sort of thing often 'catches on' in a thread as late comers will often think that really is the case and not just bits you've added.

He did put me in a taxi when i told him i wanted to go home. I really didnt feel right at all. There was 2 other newbies that were lasses there last night but was only me that he spent time with.

He was enjoying new sport. He does this with all staff, especially new ones. Everyone's been initiated. Now, you really are part of the club.

Sorry but even I'm confused now

Do you mean 'in your opinion' or do you actually work with the OP?

Absolutely worra!
This man is being painted more and more like a predator, and the op some poor, defenseless, young girl.
They were both adults and responsible for their actions.

You got drunk at a party, and the boss leched over you. However, at the end of the night, he put you in a taxi (proving he isn't a total pig) and you went home to sleep it off. That is the end of the story. You are not the first person who has done this, and you definitely won't be the last. I know it seems like a big deal to you, because its the first time its happened to you, but honestly, its over and done with now.

Don't over-think it, don't worry about it. The director is probably hoping you won't mention it on Tuesday.

Coffee was your remark aimed at any one in particular?

Well either way it's not helpful to the OP

The OP is stating facts because she was actually there, so it might be best we read those facts and stick with them.

Much more helpful than assumption and fiction

Coffee who was your to?

And mopping up his crotch was a bad move considering he'd been groping you all night.

But again, I'm sure you realise this now.

Tbh that's your view of the ops language. I was actually copying Writers (I think) terminology. He gave her multiple shots. Most likely with little care as to either her well being in a pub or later. Op was it appears trying to be grown up and nice at her new work place but mis judged things. It's kind of 50/50. But him being older, experienced, in power I view him as an aggressor.

OP's "facts" are actually word of mouth because she herself has no recollection of the night.

And the "facts" are coming from people who just stood back, watched it happen and seemed to think the whole thing was very amusing. It wouldn't surprise me if her colleagues were exaggerating a little just to try and wind the OP up

And whilst op is 25 she's plainly on the younger spectrum than overtly worldly. Some blokes are just arses. Tbh as I think I said, drink his drink accept his money and fun but now do it knowledgeably and knowingly. Tbh over a year could save you a fortune in booze! I bet he's fairly free with his wallet to every night out!

Yup, he is in a position of authority, and as such is responsible.