to not want to go into work tuesday

[zobey]

Went on a works night out last night and from what i remember i spent the night in the pubs with just my director of the company and he kept feeling my bum and inviting me back to his hotel room. Im sure he kept buying me drinks all night too. How can i make things better at work. I didnt go back to his. I see him a good few times a day but all my work coleges i think know what was happening as he kept telling them to go away if they came over.

Empathy for what?

She got drunk because she kept accepting free drinks from a guy who kept touching her bum.

It's hardly crime of the century and I certainly don't think OP was an innocent little wall flower in this scenario....

If she didn't want his attentions then she should have said so the first time he had a grope, refused any more drinks from him and kept her distance.

Ive only been at the company for 3 weeks so the staff thought i was fine and i was asking fir a single vodca lime and lemonade each time and tried ti give him money each time to get the round in. Im 25 and never really drink apart from special occasions.

I'm sorry op that there's some people lacking empathy. You were in control enough to say no to going back to his room. If he had managed to get another drink down you, who knows? Ignore twats who tell you its your fault he was groping you. It's not your fault.

Exactly writer!

You aren't the first to get drunk at an office party, you sure won't be the last. Just go in on Tuesday as if nothing happened.

Writer, are you just posting goady threads for a laugh, or do you actually believe your own drivel?
Sympathies, op, he sounds like a letchy creep.

You've done nothing wrong, just go in and pretend nothing has happened. If he tries to harass you at work simply tell him you will be reporting any further behaviour.

I believe my own drivel satnav

I'm sorry, but a 25 year old woman should be mature enough to know when to stop drinking and when to tell her boss to stop touching her arse!

You aren't the first to get drunk at an office party, you sure won't be the last. Just go in on Tuesday as if nothing happened.

This ^^

Don't worry about feeling embarrassed. He will probably feel embarrassed too.

Obviously you need to look at taking more responsibility for your own alcohol intake but I'm sure you know that now.

Sorry to derail but a "Mickey Finn" is a knockout pill, not a triple vodka sneaked into your drink. Not that a triple vodka in your drink is OK of course

He was probably drunk as well, and may be just as keen to forget about the whole thing too.

OP you trusted someone in a position of power and he abused that trust by trying to get you drunk.

Lesson learnt, he should be considerably more ashamed of his behaviour than you are of yours.

I got similar treatment from a college lecturer whilst I was a student. It's very difficult to know how to react, I certainly don't blame myself for the fact that an old man thought he could take advantage of me.

I believe you.

I also know that you are now forewarned. Do not be alone with him. Maybe mention to one colleague that it made you a bit uncomfortable. You might find he has known form for this.

Next time don't leave the group. Avoid drinks by him or just have soft. It isn't your fault but forewarned is forearmed. If he carries on at work then he's the bigger fool.

In my neck of the woods a " Mickey Finn" is a slang term for adding a sport to a drink without a persons knowledge.

Writer you sound delightful, full of human kindness and understanding.

Op, don't be surprised if the director has form for this type of behaviour.

A Mickey Finn is a drink to incapacitate. Pill, liquid or other shots. Essentially many regard a Mickey as something extra to what they are expecting.

• sport? , spirit, ie vodka, gin.

Should i have a chat to him about it all or leave it?

If I were you, I'd leave it. And be watchful in social situations with him. If he refers to it, then say something.

Events escalate. Writer you are being overly judgemental of a young girl trying to make a good impression. That's not very nice. It's a shock when it happens and you look back and think bloody hell! I don't think further undermining her confidence is helpful.

I'm sorry but I'm guessing this is usual behaviour. You are new. I'd lay money he's got form on this, scenting new sport. Be professional. Smile and just know to avoid him in similar situations.

Don't chat. I'm sorry but you might find he laughs at you. He really may not realise how his actions are perceived by staff, view himself as a dirty old man, think it was serious.

But if he asks you out (eek!) say no professionally.

human - maybe I'm just being dense but I just don't see why such a big deal is being made. She got drunk accepting drinks from him and he thought he'd try his luck....isn't that a typical Friday/Saturday night for a lot of single people?? Ok, he definitely shouldn't have done it because he is her Boss, I totally agree with that, but she should have nipped it in the bud earlier. She's a 25 year old woman, she should have been more sensible about her drinking and more assertive when it came to his advances.

She isn't to blame for what happened, but I don't think it's fair to paint the guy as some kind of predator who was pouring alcohol down her throat in order to try and sleep with her.

They both played their part and as another poster said, I'm pretty sure he's just as embarrassed about the whole thing as OP is

If it were me I wouldn't mention it to him, Id follow Minnie's advice.

Leave it. Nothing actually happened. You didn't kiss him, you didn't tell him you were enjoying him touching your bum and you didn't go back to his room.

Despite being very drunk (by the sounds of it).

He should have got the message that you're not interested. If he is enough of a twat to mention it to you at work. Look confused, say 'yes I was a bit too drunk really, no I don't think seeing you outside of work is a good idea' and then change the topic to something work related.