To be upset with mindee's family?

[BobTheFly]

Upset being a little sad not upset as in cross.

They didn't even give me a card for my birthday. I've looked after their children for 5 years and not once have I received so much as a happy birthday text.

Yes yes I know it's a business relationship and they aren't obliged too but isn't it just a nice thing to do? A show of appreciation type thing? I always send birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Easter eggs and treat them as my own. I feel like they just see me purely as my role and not as a person.

I received lovely (not expensive) things from other, newer families but it seems the longer term ones couldn't give a shit. Small bunch of flowers and home made card and money were what I got from the others.

Aibu to be surprised that they couldn't even bother to send a card? I feel like I want to stop going 'above and beyond' for them. They have a big favour coming up that they want me to do and I feel like saying no now.

how old are you? Sorry but you sound like a petulant teen

I think YABU to be honest. As you say, its a business relationship. If you;d said you'd grown to be friends and spend time with the family outside the working relationship then maybe that would be different, but business is business and they pay you to do a job.

Really??!

Grip shop stat!

I do? Ok fair enough.

Howeouldyhdurvrnknoeehrn your birthday was?

This is very strange, it is a business relationship.

What??

How would they even know!

I didn't even know when DS1's childminder's birthday was tbh.

My childminder has looked after DD for nearly four years and had never told me when her birthday is so I've never got her a card or present. I do always get her a Christmas present and card though. Do you get cards/presents for them? If not YABU as it would work both ways. I can see where you are coming from though if you have a close relationship but some people just don't find that stuff important themselves. Don't take it too personally.

Tbh I think I'd scale back all the gifts. A card is nice and obviously if you are minding the child on the day of their birthday then an activity that marks them out as special maybe. But it is a business arrangement and the fact that others remember yours is lovely but not necessary in my book! If I was a parent it would be the last thing I remember, sorry!

tripecity - they don't see her as an employee as they don't employee her - she's a business/service provider.

It's my birthday tomorrow - the head of the council where I work hasn't even sent me a card :(

Don't employ her...

How would they know your birthday is? Sorry but I do think yabu :-( I give my cm a xmas pressie but I don't know when her bday is and don't give her an easter gift, despite her giving my children eggs. I don't give any adults bday cards except for immediate family to be honest. Well, except maybe in work I would sign a card from everyone if it is a big bday.

Also, please don't pull out of the favour as you have already agreed to it - and surely they are paying for it?

So you buy them a birthday card ??

Are you serious? I don't want to be nasty, but you really need to get a grip. You are an adult, most adults don't acknowledge other adults birthdays unless they are close family or friends. Am i right in thinking you give the parents birthday gifts? I also think that is inappropriate and i would feel extremely uncomfortable if I were put in that position.

I don't give my kids teachers a birthday card
Have I made a faux pas

Hmm ee have a informal friendly relationship with our cm. I have never sent her a birthday card. I do mark her children's though and buy a family gift at Christmas

I get that I 'just' mind their children and I'm not a friend but not even a card from the children (both old enough to make one even!). Just seems thoughtless that's all when I feel I do so much for them, not just paid stuff but little extras too.

It was a Sunday this year but it's in my contract as a holiday day I always take off if it's a weekday.

You obviously value birthday celebrations very highly if you have contracted to always take your birthday off work. Most people just work on their birthdays if they fall on a working day.
It really isn't usual for clients to send the business people they employ birthday cards.

Maybe this family find it a right inconvenience to cover your birthday and don't see it as a celebration?

Surely the presents you buy are for the child ? ... whereas you are an adult?

You take your birthday off work? Do other people do this? I'd never think to do that.

I find this really odd. I wouldn't expect birthday cards in that situation, and TBH I'd find it sweet, but unnecessary, if friends I didn't happen to see on the day sent them, too.

What do they say when you give them birthday presents?