To be upset with mindee's family?

[BobTheFly]

Upset being a little sad not upset as in cross.

They didn't even give me a card for my birthday. I've looked after their children for 5 years and not once have I received so much as a happy birthday text.

Yes yes I know it's a business relationship and they aren't obliged too but isn't it just a nice thing to do? A show of appreciation type thing? I always send birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, Easter eggs and treat them as my own. I feel like they just see me purely as my role and not as a person.

I received lovely (not expensive) things from other, newer families but it seems the longer term ones couldn't give a shit. Small bunch of flowers and home made card and money were what I got from the others.

Aibu to be surprised that they couldn't even bother to send a card? I feel like I want to stop going 'above and beyond' for them. They have a big favour coming up that they want me to do and I feel like saying no now.

You sound like birthdays are a much bigger thing for you than most adults, to be honest. I've never heard of anyone insisting on taking their birthday as a holiday every year.

Blimey and just when I thought I'd seen it all on Mumsnet, this thread comes along!

My DC's school teachers regularly go over and above for them. They do it because in their eyes, it's all part of the job.

I have no clue when their birthdays are and nor do my kids.

Wtf would we??

The inconvenience of you taking your birthday off would mean I probably wouldn't send you a card either tbh.

No I don't buy the parents a birthday gift as such but I do help the children make cards and a gift (go to a pottery shop to paint a mug for example) and i do buy the children birthday gifts.

You have your birthday as a holiday every year.

Why?

What do you do? Surely everyone is at work and school.

Yabu! I am afraid your birthday only means something to you and your immediate family. Other people really don't give a toss. You are their childminder not a friend at your own admission so they have no reason to get you a card or gift. I think you need to reevaluate what you consider important I am afraid

The only other person I know who always takes the day off for their birthday is my DH. I find it a bit bizarre, but there you go. He's not princey about it, though, honest.

OP, I do find this a little odd. Do you buy the parents a card, or just your mindees? I wouldn't expect a childminder to buy a card or present for my children. If you want to do it, great, but you shouldn't really expect it in return.

An inconvenience to cover my day off? I am allowed annual leave you know! Fuck I don't work 365 days a year!

How do you know when the parents birthdays are?

Am I supposed to be announcing my birthday to people?

This a spoof of Yaya Toure's recent comments?!

I'd find it a bit awkward if the cm bought me a birthday gift from the child.

I'm afraid I'm with most other people. Taking the day off on your birthday does not strike me as hugely professional either. FWIW I had a childminder for about 8 years and would send christmas card and little homemade christmas present like shortbread. But certainly not for her birthday, and I can't say I had any inkling from her when that was. She would however do stuff for the children on their birthdays - little teaparty, as is right and proper, but in this situation I think you are unreasonable to expect it to work both ways. You are not a child - you are a professional.

hahaha Floozey you may have a point :D

I do understand you OP. I always get Xmas presents, quite often birthday too, but I also buy small things for kids. And was overwhelmed with presents and hand-me-downs for my DD recently when she was born. Would be probably sad if they never remembered :-(

Oh don't tell me I've fallen for another wind-up?

No no no I promise no wind up. (Sadly it seems because this is a right flaming!)

I think people would find it inconvenient because it is one random day to cover.
My Mum for example has to take a whole week off at a time, she can't take odd days off unless it is for a medical appointment and even then it is frowned upon.

Genuinely don't understand why it's unprofessional to take the day off though? As opposed to any other holiday time I take. Can anyone explain this?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you considering your own birthday a big occasion. Hell, hire semi-naked, oiled buff, men to carry you on a chariot through town if you like. You just can't expect people outside of your family to feel the same way.

My family have always made a big deal of birthdays (just the usual cake with candles, presents and cards, maybe a meal out) but I would never expect my colleagues to bother. Some of them gave me cards, which was very thoughtful, but I never thought less of those that didn't.

FWIW, I don't think it's unprofessional to take the day off. Presumably you're 'allowed' to take a certain number of days off per year? The parents have plenty of notice to make other arrangements for that one day.

Oh, and happy birthday .

It sounds like you put a lot of thought into it but unnecessary to make a gift from the child to each of their parents surely? I can see why you feel that this isn't reciprocated but I would definitely scale back all this stuff. You must have an incredible spreadsheet to pencil in all these activities for mindees' families' birthdays!

Oh dear!!! Is this serious?

My DS was with a wonderful CM for a few years, I don't think I ever sent her a card, ooops, best ask if she is upset about it.

I have a friend who takes the day off every year on her bday - don't quite understand it really - her DH is at work, I think she spends the day doing housework.

I wouldn't have said anything if the CM had told me she wasn't workng on her bday (she used to arrange alternative as it was like a network thing then and I knew the other CM's she networked with) but I would have secretly been a bit

My DH is self employed, wonder what his clients would say if half way through painting their lounge he told them he wouldn't be in the next day as it was his bday :)