This Morning - totally one sided fucking slot on Grandparents being denied contact

[trashcanjunkie]

God I'm fuming watching this. This Morning have done a section on parents denying contact to the grandparents. The whole thing has focused on how cruel and unfair it is for parents to do it. They've had a succession of gps on who've had contact cut. They made NO FUCKING attempt to acknowledge the thousands of people who felt they had no choice than to go nc as the relationship with gps was/is utterly toxic and no matter what they tried it always would be.

Completley agree.
Totaly one sided.

We are the nasty people who have stopped a loving grandmother seeing her DGDs for no reason.

In real life, she spread lies, canceled visits, blamed us, manipluated people, broke promises and couldn't be bothered to see them, we got so sick of her actions we cut ties.

Totally agree, infact I wrote similar on the Stately homes thread.
How can they possibly show such a thing, when only one side has spoken

Most parents that enter into non contact, do not do so lightly. I for one took a very long time and gave too many chances realising things would never change and my children were at risk if I were to allow any more contact.

I can't see many parents doing this out of spite, why would they, there is nothing to achieve from doing so.

I suspect one or two may, but statisticly I presume most have their reasons.

My DH's father hasn't been bothered. I bet when asked by his drinking mates in the pub he makes out it's our fault though. Less socially embarrassing than admitting you don't care about your son and can't be arsed to see your grandchildren.

It's complicated though, if the dad isn't allowed contact, I personally wouldn't let the gps on that side have unsupervised contact due to concerns about it being a stalking horse for the dad to have contact or be talked about in a positive way.

I haven't seen this but ultimately I don't see why GPs should have rights. The child does not belong to them. They have to claim. If people are saying they should have rights then where does it end with aunts, uncles, cousins anyone else. I don't see why they would be any different.

I haven't seen this but ultimately I don't see why GPs should have rights. The child does not belong to them. They have no claim on the child. If people are saying they should have rights then where does it end with aunts, uncles, cousins anyone else. I don't see why they would be any different.

Grandparents shouldn't have any rights. Where would it stop if that was the case.

I also agree re where would it stop??
Are Aunties, uncles, friends etc going to be allowed rights to a child that is not theirs too??

I cannot see why anyone would stop a true loving grandparent from seeing their gc, unless of course there was a very serious reason why.

I think they should do another show, showing the dils side of things!

It's impossible to know for sure whether people are just refusing contact after divorce out of spite,or if there is genuine concern. After all the threads about horrible exs and ILs I've read on here, I would never presume to know.

I didn't watch it. I'm sure it would have made me fuming.

I have a good relationship with my XH parents. We as a family are no contact with my H's mum.

I sometimes feel that society sees the resident parent as a slave to everyone else's whims. That non resident parents and in this instance grandparents, want to have all the nice bits, pick and choose when it suits them and those with residency are expected to completely bend and drop everything to meet those needs/ whims.

Children have a right to a happy family life. In an ideal world that would include knowing wider family and having positive relationships with wider family. Some decisions and control needs to stay with the resident parent. They have the right to be happy too.

Gen, it isn't always that dad isn't allowed contact for safeguarding reasons, it could be because of spiteful ex (and before anyone jumps on me, it does happen) and so the GP also have no contact either.

OP This Morning is looking for sentimental human-interest stories- what do you expect?

Switch it off. If you look down the loo you'll see a lot of shit!

sHALL WE all email this mornig then asking for the other side to be relayed!!

These gp need to be looking at why they have gone non contact, they are all going to think of themselves as lovely arnt they., it would be more beneficial to doig deeper and ask why

You should check out Gransnet, there are a number of threads claiming that they've been cut out of their grandchildrens lives for absolutely no reason.
And God forbid you post anything that might challenge them!

I've been NC with my mother since july 2012. BEST decision I ever made. She has mental health issues. She used to pretend my daughter was hers, used to completely take over (e.g. dressed her at the birth, undermined all my decisions, accused me of hitting DD!) DD was confused. She didn't know who her mum was. So when DD turned 2 I said enough is enough. I didn't want my DD to form such an unhealthy attachment with this woman. It was going to end in tears.

Nowadays I still get angry messages from my aunt and cousins on FaceFuck, saying how despicable I am and how my mother is 'grieving'. I blocked them all. Life's too short.

I had a toxic mother who herself had a toxic mother . I was determined to be like neither of them . If my mother had made any claims on my children she would have got very short shrift . She tried to lay down the law days after my son was born and he and I were still in hospital as he was ill. She came into the room and lifted him out of his cot even though I explained he was ill and I had only just got him to sleep saying "YOU can't stop me cuddling MY grandson !"

My husband was brilliant and told her in no uncertain terms that he was our child and not hers , along with a few other things ! Our children saw their grandparents now and then , but only with us present .My DH had lovely parents so the children never missed out on the grandparent front .

In my opinion grandparents have no claim on someone else's children . They have had the chance to bring up their own. There are usually very good reasons why people restrict how much access gps have to their grandchildren.

It's like the press taking up the plight of some kid, moaning that they're not allowed into their local school by the mean headteacher anymore so their education is being disrupted....Then someone finds out that the kid was expelled for repeated bullying and offensive behaviour and their continued presence was detrimental to the other children. OOh. In the meantime, the press has just belittled all the people that the kid hurt because they were too lazy or too ignorant to do their research.

We all know that parents don't cut grandparents off without serious reason. The program makers just got taken by a sub class of silverhaired bullies.

If something was to happen that resulted in death, I would hope DH still took DC to visit my parents. GP rights would be useful in this situation.

I know of cases where, following an acrimonious split with a partner, the parent with custody makes it incredibly difficult or even impossible for ex P and GPs to see the child; even though neither are any danger to the child and very much want them to remain in their lives.

Yes, there is always this.

However, the ex normally has a court ordered arrangement. Why aren't they taking the kids to see their grandparents during their custody days? The primary parent shouldn't have to see her ex's parents who may or may not make snipes at her for breaking up with their child.

Though personally, if I was separated from DH I would still take DD to see FIL because he is a part of her life. But if he started judging me or making passive aggressive remarks after the separation, I'd cut ties.

Tbh I do not understand mn at all. I see loads of 'I'm nc with such n such' or "shall I nc this family member " now whilst I get there's always a few stories where I am sure it's not bu (violence/abuse) there's an awful lot of 'IMO' here and an awful lot of people just randomly replying oh yes, def nc that person.

It's frankly weird. Not nice weird. More sheeplike and down right strange weird.

VIPissartist yes they should show the other side.

My IL's have not had contact for three years. It took 5 years to come to the decision after trying several times to talk to them. We have had nasty txt messages/emails/letter/lies from them.

I didn't watch it but suspect I would get annoyed with the one sidedness of it though.

I know my IL would maintain that they have done nothing wrong but we know the truth and we also know someone in the family who has also been on the receiving end of their nastiness. My own parents have been shocked by the things they have said and done and totally understand and stand by our decision to go nc.

People do not go NC without good reason and without trying to resolve problems but usually they don't work out because they GP/other are not reasonable people to start with! Some people cant reason nor admit they have done anything wrong, they cant change. Some people insist blue is black even when confronted with proof. You cant rationalise with people like that. People like that re-write history according to how they want.

I suspect that if the programme contacted the parents in these cases, they wouldn't want to go on tv- they know they will be confronted with lies and accusations. You cant argue with these people- they are always right, to say they have been denied contact makes them the victim, it makes them feel better about the situation it means that they are not the bad guy at fault. They will not accept their part in the relationship breaking down.

I could go on and on but Im boring myself!

If the day is supposed to be with the parent wouldn't the ex consider it palming off if the day or half day was with gps?

Especially in acrimonious splits....?

I do think gps deserve own access. Familial access.

I think that if any of my future dils or my own dds didn't want me or dh in their children's lives then I would think it was my own fault really.