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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

He is a pedophile

146 replies

Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:16

Firstly, I apologise about the heading, I just didn't know how to word it.

I found out today that someone the children and I talk to is a convicted pedophile.
A parent at the school told me today, I asked how she knew and she had told me someone told her, she Google it and it was right there in front of my eyes.
A news website with him in it.

He has lots of dogs right next to the school, all the children talk to him about the dogs, think nice grandad down the park type.

I have obviously always been there when the children have spoken to him, and conversation is always about the dogs.

The children know about stranger danger and we have spoken lots about the under wear rule and feeling uncomfortable around someone and not to keep secrets in a very open way.

But how can you stop children talking to people..

Especially when this man is someone we see most days and they already know all the dogs names and stop and stroke them.

I am not a silly person.
I know about child protection and relevant laws etc...
Please don't knit pick about the heading or the spelling or something similar.

This is just a thread about how I discourage the children from talking to him..

I don't want them anywhere near him and they are not old enough to know why

What would you do?

OP posts:
Finney2 · 20/05/2014 20:28

You can't tell a paedophile not to live near a school. Where I live, there is a school every mile or so. Wherever you choose to live, you're going to be close to a school.

However, I'd suspect that, through his recent actions, this man might be in breach of the conditions of his release from prison (depending, obviously on the level of offending). You sould call the police and tell them what you know. They will deal with it.

I'm not sure they'd tell you the info under Sarah's Law tbh. It's at the discretion of each police force, and given you don't really have regular, organised contact with the man, they may not tell you. Also, you have to agree to keep the information confidential in any case.

Though situation OP.

TrustMeImLying · 20/05/2014 20:28

If so many other parents know then it is possible the police are already aware of what's going on. Although I do think it is important that you report this to your local police.

Do you know if the man in question lives close by or if he us just hanging around the area?

matildasquared · 20/05/2014 20:30

Well said, wantsunshine.

Quite weird that in her first post the OP said unequivocally it was a "convicted pedophile," and yet there are so many posts saying, "But was he convicted? Don't spread gossip!"

matildasquared · 20/05/2014 20:31

And anyway contacting the police is not "spreading gossip!"

Birdsgottafly · 20/05/2014 20:32

I know of a convicted child sex offender who has just been housed overlooking a play park.

Anyone working in SS, the Police, MH services could tell you stories that are true, but wouldn't be believed.

It is pure luck that offending is as low as it is, but then so many crimes against children don't get disclosed in the era that they happen, or are not taken up by the CPS.

Icimoi · 20/05/2014 20:37

Are you 100% sure the picture was of him - not just that it looked like him? Is it the same name? There have been cases like this which turned out to be mistaken identity.

OddFodd · 20/05/2014 20:39

So, have you rung 101 yet OP?

whynowblowwind · 20/05/2014 20:42

I would explain to my children that they should be polite but that the man was not safe.

I would mention it quietly to the school.

I can't think of anything else.

matildasquared · 20/05/2014 20:44

Are you 100% sure the picture was of him - not just that it looked like him? Is it the same name? There have been cases like this which turned out to be mistaken identity.

Right, she's said she's sure about five times now.

If she weren't 100% sure, why not just contact the police all the same? They can look into it and let her know.

maddy68 · 20/05/2014 20:53

Are you sure it's the right bloke? All paedophiles will be on a register and will have a solo. They will not be allowed to love where they will be an obvious danger to children so I doubt this bloke is who you think he is living next to a school !
Even if it is true. You are with your children to and from school. They are at more danger from the next door neighbour or the nice bloke in the shop.
You need to get a sense of perpective about this

Stripyhoglets · 20/05/2014 20:55

Contact the police, he may be breaching the terms of a probation order, he may not. But he is hanging around public ground near a school with dogs, children like to pet dogs, he knows what he is doing. There are restrictions that can be applied for if the police think he is a risk.

IsItMeOr · 20/05/2014 20:58

Something similar was told to me by a parent at my son's school. I didn't have a name, so couldn't verify or call 101 - and luckily DS is pretty wary of dogs.

Having rung 101 for other things, I have always found them extremely helpful, and the community police officers have also been great. I'd be surprised if they didn't take this very seriously. Also, they will almost certainly give you some very good advice.

Please do ring 101, and share the advice here, as I can't act in our situation because of the no name!

Ronmione · 20/05/2014 21:03

Is this a primary school op?

I used to walk half way home on my own in the last year.

There will be children that walk without a parent.

Talk to the school and the police, and if that didn't work is be on the phone to governors or my mp

If it was me I'd tell my children never to talk to him. That he wasn't a nice man.

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2014 21:06

No worries Ona, didn't think it through tbh!

And yep, not many people round here bother calling the police anymore, other than to get a crime no. For insurance purposes.

Sparrowlegs248 · 20/05/2014 21:06

I agree you should contact the police. I work in housing and often with prolific offenders including paedophiles and sex offenders. Indeed you CAN dictate where a sex offender lives, dependent on risk. He may still be on license with conditions that he is in breach of.

It really depends on his crimes. What was he convicted of? Odd as it may sound, he may not pose a risk to primary age children, or those outside of his own family.

phantomnamechanger · 20/05/2014 21:08

when it comes to child protection, our children need us to teach them the rules, about talking to strangers, going with people, inappropriate touch, always telling a parent if someone has said/done something they felt uneasy about - all in a manner appropriate to their age, and we ourselves need to remain constantly aware that the 'dangerous pervert' we fear might not be a convicted peedo who chats to kids in the park, but their beloved uncle/grandad, a friend's daddy, the hired clown at X's party, or the nice kind lady next door who always invites them in to get a cake.

Jayne35 · 20/05/2014 21:08

I agree with all the other posters, call 101 and speak to them. That is what I would do. We had some women in our street find out that a neighbour had been convicted, gossip was rife and he had to move due the paint/smashed windows etc. Found out later that yes he was convicted, the girl was 15 and they later married - were still married years and years later when this all happened.

I think this is what an earlier poster meant by circumstances, this man would not have been a threat to the local children.

FrancesNiadova · 20/05/2014 21:27

Friedbrain, as others have said, call 101, speak to the head, speak to LA child protection officer. Ask all for follow up about what they've done.

In the meantime, you know who he is, where he is & what he is.
You can manage him.

He is never going to speak to your children, befriend them, become familiar to them, because you won't let him.

Best wishes op, but make 100% sure that your facts are right first & that it is definitely the person on the BBC.

Andrewofgg · 20/05/2014 21:47

If he is in breach of his SOPO (if he has one) the police will be down on him like a ton of bricks. If he is in breach of licence likewise. If in breach of probation conditions - Probation less so. Of course his SOPO may ahve expired.

Wantsunshine · 20/05/2014 21:52

Make sure your child know he does not have to be polite to him either. There are some adults you can ignore.

deakymom · 20/05/2014 21:52

its quite common in our area for phedophiles to be rehomed by the housing association right next to schools playgrounds and (if they like teenagers) shops we have queried this on more than one occasion they give a valid answer where else can we put them?

nasty but true a lady almost lost her job in the probation service when a particularly nasty one came into our area he had a passion for small children so they put him overlooking a park by two primary schools they were asked to rehome him but they refused he was prone to re offending everyone was concerned the lady in question took her children to one of the schools and saw him try to talk to children she let it "slip" who he was there was an uproar the school had to promote safety they sent out letters they asked again for him to be moved they refused again then he spoke to the wrong child he was moved to hospital then another area due to his life being "at risk" then there were a rash of fires on other phedofiles propertys turned out they set them themselves to get a move away from the place

fromparistoberlin73 · 20/05/2014 21:53

it does baffle me the number of people that raise concerns around "gossip" and "muck spreading"

OP has clearly said its him, she has seen his photo- i beleive her

noone wants to ruin a mans life, but when it appears like a convincted peadophile is using his dogs to chat to kids

ITS FUCKING WORRYING!!!!

Aeroflotgirl · 20/05/2014 21:55

Yes call 101, he sounds like he is using the dogs to interact with children.

Ronmione · 20/05/2014 21:58

Op your children are safe because you know.

There will be others that don't know, whose children are at risk.

He must know that by walking his dogs and allowing children to stroke them he risks making himself know to other and therefore his safety is in danger, yet continues to do so.

starlight1234 · 20/05/2014 22:13

I agree with others phone 101. I have phoned them once for another issue they were really helpful.

I also am shocked how many times OP said she is sure...Contacting the police they will know what convictions this man does have.

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