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AIBU?

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Original poster

He is a pedophile

146 replies

Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:16

Firstly, I apologise about the heading, I just didn't know how to word it.

I found out today that someone the children and I talk to is a convicted pedophile.
A parent at the school told me today, I asked how she knew and she had told me someone told her, she Google it and it was right there in front of my eyes.
A news website with him in it.

He has lots of dogs right next to the school, all the children talk to him about the dogs, think nice grandad down the park type.

I have obviously always been there when the children have spoken to him, and conversation is always about the dogs.

The children know about stranger danger and we have spoken lots about the under wear rule and feeling uncomfortable around someone and not to keep secrets in a very open way.

But how can you stop children talking to people..

Especially when this man is someone we see most days and they already know all the dogs names and stop and stroke them.

I am not a silly person.
I know about child protection and relevant laws etc...
Please don't knit pick about the heading or the spelling or something similar.

This is just a thread about how I discourage the children from talking to him..

I don't want them anywhere near him and they are not old enough to know why

What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:41

I did, it was him!

OP posts:
TrustMeImLying · 20/05/2014 19:42

Was it just a name on the news article or a picture too? If it is just a name and general area then that could easily be someone else.

cozietoesie · 20/05/2014 19:44

Paedophiles would probably have restrictions on their movements related to their predilections - which tend not to change. (eg if they 'like' 14 year old girls they're not likely to change to go for 6 year olds.)

As a registered sex offender, he should have a management plan which is supervised by an officer in the local force in conjunction with social services. Give the police a phone on 101 and seek their advice.

PrincessBabyCat · 20/05/2014 19:45

Do nothing else, talk to no one about it. Don't add to the grapevine gossip - you don't know what else may be going on.

Uhm.. Parents should know there's a pedophile near their school. If something happened to my child and I found out people knew and didn't tell me, I'd be furious. He doesn't deserve privacy, decency, or any sort of kindness, especially if he is hanging around children in a place where he could easily lure, groom and then re-offend. This "don't gossip" mentality is exactly how these scum get away with it for so long, because people don't want to be rude.

If he was in a coffee shop, I'd say yes don't gossip. But near a school with kids near by? No. Police, the school, and parents all need to know and be aware.

How would you feel if your child got hurt by him and someone knew he was a pedo but didn't tell you?

Someone's feelings are NOT worth a child's safety. They're just not.

Original poster
Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:45

There was a picture of him.

Thank you for everyone's advice so far

OP posts:
OnaPromise · 20/05/2014 19:46

He may or may not have probation officer and/or restrictions on him. He may or may not be a risk to the children in question. But the police are the best people to know this, or find out and take steps if necessary.

You should definitely inform the police of this.

Original poster
Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:47

Babycat... Totally agree....

Not gossip in the playground but completely know that this can't be left but apparently 'everyone' knows and I'm one of the lady ' to find out Shock

OP posts:
Floundering · 20/05/2014 19:48

There was a picture of him....and what? Was it a report of his conviction or just a picture linked to another story?

Original poster
Friedbrain · 20/05/2014 19:51

Sorry - It was the news report about him going to prison.
There was a picture of him with the report!

The information is 100% correct

OP posts:
HolidayCriminal · 20/05/2014 19:51

People on SRO have lots of restrictions slapped on them, it seems odd that where they live isn't one of them.

HolidayCriminal · 20/05/2014 19:52

oops: SOR I meant

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2014 19:53

Sorry I misread it that you walked past his house. He definitely should not be so close to the school/children with dogs that are bound to attract attention.

PommePoire · 20/05/2014 19:53

Someone I know was a similar situation to you OP and they rang 101. The 101 operator explained to them that anyone has the right to know if their is a convicted child sex offender in their area. You have to physically go into the local police station; they can't tell you over the phone. You just go to the desk and say "It's about Sarah's Law." The person on the desk will know straight away what you're asking about. You then give them the address (or road name) and they look up on the register to confirm, or deny whether a convicted child sex offender lives at that address (or on that road.) I don't know if this is the same in all areas of the UK. The person I know was in Kent/East Sussex.

PommePoire · 20/05/2014 19:53

there not their!

waterlego6064 · 20/05/2014 19:54

I don't think it's about his feelings, so much as vigilanteism Babycat.

I agree that the OP should speak to the police or the school, but not other parents. If the other parents need to know, then I imagine the police or school would diseminate the information appropriately.

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2014 19:56

I think I'd take pictures of him. Under the guise of snapping the children and the dogs. See it he reacts/tries to avoid being photographed.

Then you will have something to show the police if it comes to it other than playground gossip iyswim

PommePoire · 20/05/2014 20:01

If you go to the police station and invoke Sarah's Law to confirm that it is the person you saw in the BBC news report, then you can take go on to explain to the officer you speak to, what you've seen of this man's behaviour in terms of interacting with school children etc.

GoblinLittleOwl · 20/05/2014 20:01

Contact the school and ask for the person responsible for Child Protection; they will have links to the Police and will take it from there; do not pass on gossip or alert other parents until all the facts are verified.

OnaPromise · 20/05/2014 20:01

Oh Christ no, don't be taking pictures of him ffs! All you have to do is phone police and say 'I have reason to believe that this is a convicted sex offender against children and he is regularly speaking to children'. That is all, and leave it to them.

Fairyliz · 20/05/2014 20:03

Speak to the police. If he is convicted he will be banned from going near the primary school. If caught he will be breaking his terms of probation.
Also let the school know, the police should have informed them.

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2014 20:06

That advice was from my experience of reporting things to the police. Unless you can say look this is happening and here's the proof they just mark it down as hearsay.

SouthernComforts · 20/05/2014 20:07

When I was mugged (on cctv) the police told me to call them back if I found out who it was.

OnaPromise · 20/05/2014 20:13

Sorry SouthernComforts I shouldn't have ffsaked there. I think that advice would be right in other circumstances but in this case I would worry about the op being accused of vigilanteism(sp) or inadvertently escalating a sensitive situation.

Wantsunshine · 20/05/2014 20:17

Floundering convicted pedophiles do get released. The op has a picture, location, name and details of offences he was convicted in a court of. Should she still ignore? It's not as if this is idle gossip. Although saying that if people had taken gossip a little more seriously in the past there wouldn't be operation yew tree now.

neiljames77 · 20/05/2014 20:26

"When I was mugged (on cctv) the police told me to call them back if I found out who it was."
Well it'd have been rude not to wouldn't it *SouthernComforts" ? Shock
They're unbelievable sometimes aren't they?