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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want to sing at Baby Group

147 replies

Writerwannabe83 · 20/05/2014 09:03

I have an 8 week old DS and a few weeks ago I started attending a Baby Group which my neighbour invited me to. It's at a lovely place, full of women and babies, loads of lovely toys and all the women chat to each other with no sense of "My baby is better than yours" going on. These factors make the group enjoyable.

However, at the end of the session is Sing Song time and I find it so, so cringy! We all get handed out that days particular song sheet and we are expected to sing songs about ducks and scarecrows whilst carrying out silly dance and hand movements to go with the words. Obviously the babies have to join in with all the dancing Personally I think the whole thing is very embarrassing.

Unfortunately Sing Song time is my neighbours favourite part of the session and whilst she is sitting on the mats, eagerly participating, I can see she isn't too impressed that I stay seated on my chair, do not join in and look at everyone else like I'm in some kind of alternative Universe.

I'm going to the group this afternoon and have absolutely no desire to join in with Sing Song time again. My friends think I'm being ridiculous and should just join in with the spirit of things...

AIBU to think singing about Winding Bobbins and a star that goes Twinkle Twinkle is my idea of a complete nightmare which should definitely be avoided??

OP posts:

BikeRunSki · 22/05/2014 07:01

Lighten up. There are so much bigger parenting issues to come.

pinksummer · 22/05/2014 07:24

OP there is loads of singing at Baby Sensory I'm afraid! The first song is singing and signing! So you'd better suck it up as you will look like a loon not joining in!

lozster · 22/05/2014 08:38

Thanks OP baby is fine. He does now have chicken pox and singing to him has stopped the cycle of scratching and crying. Our favourite is the pirate song 'a bottle of rum to fill my tum, that's the life for me!' (Baby mimes slugging from a bottle and pats tum) - tickles me every time!

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 22/05/2014 09:46

pinksummer - I haven't paid for my sessions yet (It's a £50 payment) so if there really is lots of signing and singing then I think I will withdraw. Places are limited so would hate to take it if there is another parent who really wants to do it. I can't see it being a very appropriate session for DS if signing is part of it - I'm not sure a 9 week old has quite the intellect to take it in [smile

OP posts:

TheLowestFormOfWit · 22/05/2014 10:02

Ha AmandaClarke I had a very similar birth it sounds like and now I will literally talk to random strangers in the checkout queue at Aldi about my episiotomy.

This actually happened last week.

A bit of silly singing in public is nothing.

PrimalLass · 22/05/2014 10:49

I hated it because I sound like a cat being strangled. My children now tell me to not sing.

specialmagiclady · 22/05/2014 11:06

Welcome to the alternative universe! Yes, it's a headfuck! A few months - nay, weeks - ago you were a grown up with a grown up job and now you're sitting on a carpet with a load of other women making stupid faces and singing stupid songs. Of course it's weird. It's ok, it will become normal soon.

There was a thing on radio 4 about child development that said even on day 1, newborns look to mum's face to see how they should react to an environment/stimulus. So get your stupid grin ready, because a lot of parenting stuff is about plastering your face with a big smile and putting on a stupid squeaky voice when you are dying, just dying inside.

If your baby's asleep, do the washing up.

Andcake · 22/05/2014 11:08

For an 8 week old I'd focus on classes like baby massage, post natal yoga etc and then do the singing when you can't avoid it when they are bigger and will LOVE IT.
As i said before (and others have said better) its just part of motherhood so you need to suck it up a bit.

TheRealMaryMillington · 22/05/2014 12:18

FWIW I would advise you to give Baby Sensory a giant swerve

I have never been to anything so dire in my life, and DS agreed.

MaddAddam · 22/05/2014 12:23

Yanbu. It's a huge culture shock. I first went to a baby group when dd1 was 3 weeks old and I couldn't believe that adult women were expected to sit on the floor and sing "wheels on the bus" etc. Get me back to the workplace ASAP!, I thought.

You get sucked into the system though. A few years on Dp and I were so used to toddler group singing that we'd sometimes find ourselves putting on the toddler cd songs in the car even without any children in there. And I can do a rather good public performance of Dingle Dangle Scarecrow. Sadly, now my children are teens they don't appreciate this.

SarniaCherie · 22/05/2014 12:33

If you really don't want to sing in public then don't, but once your children are old enough to stay awake during the song session please at least sit in the circle and pretend. (this comes from someone who has to lead library rhyme times and the most disconcerting part is parents just sitting on the side glaring at you like you're a loon)

andsmile · 22/05/2014 12:37

when a playgroup I attended went for sing song in the other room, I let DD stay with me to help tidy up. Not my thing at all - but I have plenty other things

Wes ing at home in front of tv or in the car. She is still alive and doesnt appear to have any issues from this.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 22/05/2014 12:40

All the tidying up from tea, coffee and biscuits is done about 30 minutes before the Sing Song session starts so I can't even use 'helping to clean up' as an excuse. I think it's a conspiracy to make sure everyone joins in

OP posts:

HesterShaw · 22/05/2014 12:47

Why are English people so self conscious about singing in public, unless they are on X Factor or some such shit? No wonder singing together is dying out in England. It's such a shame as it does wonders for people's self confidence, sense of community, and mental well being. English people are losing all this.

This doesn't seem to be the case in the other countries in the UK.

BlackeyedSusan · 22/05/2014 12:58

I would engineer a nappy change, a feeding session or need to keep him quiet as he is about to drop off to sleep/is asleep.

BlackeyedSusan · 22/05/2014 13:00

I used to take a chair over to the seated on the floor circle as I am not capable of sitting on the floor without pain or if no pain I get stuck and can not get up.

agenvoca · 22/05/2014 13:07

I'd definitely rather not sing given the choice. I sound a bit like Hyacinth Bucket when I sing and I recall the 'leader' (?) at one of these baby classes raising a quizzical eye in my direction as I sang (so don't believe that nobody cares about your singing!) which put me off a little, though not entirely.

It wasn't my cup of tea. I found an alternative to suit us both later on. That's what I'd advise you to do if you dislike it

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 22/05/2014 13:11

I'm trying to envisage a room full of dad's all sitting in a circle and singing...

I just can't picture it.

Saying that, my DH is very extrovert and loves being silly, he'd probably love it!

OP posts:

peppinagiro · 22/05/2014 14:31

There are dads at several of the baby groups I go to. They sit there and join in the same as everyone else!

TheRealAmandaClarke · 22/05/2014 19:17

Ll the dads I've seen at groups are big joiners-in.

Original poster

Writerwannabe83 · 05/06/2014 11:07

OP here

I can't believe it I did it but I booked myself on the Sensory Course and my first session is in an hour!!!

I will make myself sing!!!

OP posts:

JohnCusacksWife · 05/06/2014 14:17

Like all things in life you get out what you put in. Sit on the sidelines if you want but the only person missing out will be your baby.You're probably drawing more attention to yourself by pointedly not joining in than you would do if you just joined in. No one's that interested in you!

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