To not want to sing at Baby Group

[Writerwannabe83]

I have an 8 week old DS and a few weeks ago I started attending a Baby Group which my neighbour invited me to. It's at a lovely place, full of women and babies, loads of lovely toys and all the women chat to each other with no sense of "My baby is better than yours" going on. These factors make the group enjoyable.

However, at the end of the session is Sing Song time and I find it so, so cringy! We all get handed out that days particular song sheet and we are expected to sing songs about ducks and scarecrows whilst carrying out silly dance and hand movements to go with the words. Obviously the babies have to join in with all the dancing Personally I think the whole thing is very embarrassing.

Unfortunately Sing Song time is my neighbours favourite part of the session and whilst she is sitting on the mats, eagerly participating, I can see she isn't too impressed that I stay seated on my chair, do not join in and look at everyone else like I'm in some kind of alternative Universe.

I'm going to the group this afternoon and have absolutely no desire to join in with Sing Song time again. My friends think I'm being ridiculous and should just join in with the spirit of things...

AIBU to think singing about Winding Bobbins and a star that goes Twinkle Twinkle is my idea of a complete nightmare which should definitely be avoided??

Don't worry, you will get used to it soon.

YANBU but you do become immune to it the more you do it.

Embrace your inner songbird.

Resistance is futile

I have this at work. The kids love wind the bobbin up and other stuff. I hate hate hate it!! Some staff love it and can't see my problem.

However I love other stuff with the kids that they don't. What's their problem eh?

I was told a co worker to enjoy it. I told her today wasn't that long cold day in hell, so , no I wouldn't be singing songs but I would go and start the baking instead!

I found it embarrassing but I joined in. I think you stand out more if you don't. To be fair dc quite liked me singing to them and as they got older joining in with the actions.

As the dc got older I found embarrassing episodes became part of our lives really - singing at playgroup was really nothing compared to some of the other incidents.

Yanbu at all, it is a bit cringey when your baby is little and cannot join in. I was lucky that ds always started to,be tired and crying and whinging,around that time as,it was tge end and it was around nap time, some used to give my apologies and dash. Now ds is 2.5 it's a lot better, I hide behind him and sing whilst healing him with his arm actions.

I used to attend a group where we all sat in a circle, ignoring each other (apart from one group of four who'd lived in the town their whole lives and gone to school together) playing instruments and singing songs flatly in a monotone voice. It was the most depressing thing ever.

It's not about you though is it? babies love singing and silly movements. when I first went to baby group I hated the singing because I felt self conscious. then my dd got to an age where she giggles at the songs and dancing. I would do anything for that giggle including doing a stupid dance and squeaky noise in the middle of town on a busy day
you don't have to join in if you don't want too, nobody is forcing you. just keep an open mind because you might find yourself in the circle singing and waving your arms about like a maniac

3DCs and hundreds of playgroups later and I still hate the singing. I never got used to it. I sing/sang with my kids but that false OTT singing at playgroups makes my teeth itch.

Wind the bobbin up is the stuff of nightmares.

When DD was tiny I couldn't see the point of singing and just sat there grinning uncomfortably - I couldn't imagine the day when DD would be excited by it and join in. Now she is a toddler it feels much more normal to sing in public as she is so much more involved.

Wind the bobbin up is the worst song in the entire world ever. Unfortunately it happened to be the favourite of the leader of the group I went to on maternity leave, for some bizarre reason, so we had it almost every week .

No one will be listening to you! Unless you've been asked to do a solo I think,you'll be ok

Ah do love these. Op is so above all that silly stuff. Far too cool, better than every one else. Stealth boast passive aggressive stylie! It's soooo not me. Silly dancing. Silly songs. Sneery attitude about women she's happy to chat to but heaven forbid they sing a nursery rhyme.

It's one thing to be mildly embarrassed. It's one thing to say that's not your favourite part of the group dynamic. It's quite another to include the rest. That is just mean.

Idon't necessary think that the OP is above these songs or is too cool for them. I'm certainly not. However every time I had to open my mouth to sing at children's assembly or a hymn in church I start to blush and remember the taunts of a girl in 2nd year of High School who turned to me when we had to sing Colours of Day and sneered 'you really can't sing can you' and all the other girls started laughing.
After that I got ' go on Jill, sing for us' shouted at me at the bus stop, in the corridor, in the classroom before teacher came. It wasn't meant as friendly banter.

So people can fuck off if they think I'm going to sing anywhere outside my head!! I'm not cool, I'm not above it. I just fuckin' hate it! Got it!!!

At 8 weeks, he might just need a feed, or a change at singing time, or a bit of fresh air.

At 8 months when they hear the opening strains of Wind My Bobbin Up he will clap like Elvis has just taken to the stage…..by then its worth it.

All those non-singers should also re-laaax, its very good for your wellbeing to sing with others.

Minnie, I agree.

OP, you are not being unreasonable to not join in (your child's loss though, they do love it, and at eight weeks, their mother concentrating solely on them, singing, would be quite appealing to them!), but you come across as the type of woman that other mumsnetters bemoan about but I have never actually had the misfortune of meeting. If this had happened in any of the groups I went to, a woman sitting in the sidelines, watching the other mothers as though they are on another planet, I would think just one thing... I bet she is going to have a lonely old maternity leave.

Lonely?? Why??

I've already made 3 friends through this group, two of them who have young babies so don't join the circle either. Maybe that's why we have been drawn to each other. The only good thing about the singing is looking at the infants who are getting involved, they're super cute and look in absolute awe of the whole thing Also, I really like the "I'm a jingle jangle scarecrow" song and the actions

I sing to DS all the time at home, including my very own made up song about bouncing

It genuinely is that whilst DS is so young and always asleep I would just feel a bit stupid sitting in a singing circle with no child who is old enough to participate plus, I do think it's cringey

I'm pretty sure that a few months down the line I'll know all the dance movements to 'Old MacDonald' but for now, it's just not me.

If your child is asleep you can in no way be accused of being miserablist for not joining in. Perfect time to tootle about in the kitchen, check your text messages, shut your eyes and doze off.

lonely old maternity leave how mean.

Op, it's worth overcoming it when you're ready IMHO.
There are few things cuter than your own toddler joining in with "sleepy bunnies"
That song turned me into a pushy mom

Writer, your last post is a completely different tone to your original post.

I reckon I spent about 4 years enduring weekly 'Musical Minis' and 'Jo Jingles' with my dcd.

I think the singing etc made it slightly more bearable!

Each to their own but personally I think you are taking it a bit seriously OP. Just join in and you might have a laugh, you never know. I'm sure your DS will anyway

Sing because your baby thinks you are Julie Andrews, Dusty Springfield and LuLu all rolled in to one. You tend not to be able to see your own child's face at these things but in my experience they look amazed and engaged. My kiddo recognised tunes from a few months and they calm him down. I did my whole repertoire (quietly and discreetly) when he was admitted to the childrens ward and ended up with a lumber puncture at 4 months. See it as an investment in a tool to help them/you distract and entertain at other times.

I wish I sounded like Julie Andrews!!!

I have decided now that the next session I go to, if DS is awake, I'm going to force myself to sit on the mat and sway along. Surely the first time has to be the hardest and it's just a case of sucking it up?

I hope your DS was ok lozster

Calling singing with your young baby cringy makes you sound judgey and arrogant OP I would've stuck with 'I don't like it'

Tbh. After a long labour with the entire medical staff peering up my pants, then having ds ripped from my foof, and changing poopy nappies and getting my naps out in costa to feed him and talking to my health visitor about my personal life...... I have a slightly raised threshold for "cringey"
So a bit of singing with the dcs is quite fine IMHO, ad they love it.
You might come to actually enjoy it.