To wonder how many of you not on the organ donor register

[Normalisavariantofcrazy]

Would be happy to accept an organ on behalf of yourself or a relative?

If you are, excluding health reasons, why are you not on the organ donor register? Is it just a case of not getting round to it, if so

register here

I am on the register. I would have thought there would be a way though to update them as to the systemic conditions I have (though understand that i can still donate with them, as someone with the same problems could well need an organ), but cant find anything.

Can get a nice and clear, big fat no from blood and bone marrow donation.

Yes tortoise but those stories are in the minority. There are far more posts telling people that they are selfish and have warped principles because they choose not to be on the donor register.
Nobody could fail to read the heartfelt stories of how donor organs have helped to transform or save the life of a loved one and feel moved. But a lot of people sharing those stories have also stated that they respect the views of those who choose not to be donors, which is how it should be.
I object to being told what I should do with my body and I also object to attempts at guilt tripping people into feeling obliged to do something that they don't wish to do.
I have no injections to people being on the donor register and they shouldn't object to my decision not to be on the donor register and they certainly shouldn't be so inflammatory about my decision.

Right now with my logical head on if my DC died and were eligible for donation I'd give the go ahead.

In the situation though I don't know if I could handle not being with them when they passed, even if it was purely physical. I pray I never have to find out.

I am on the register myself. I don't see it as choosing what to do with my body, there will be no 'me' left. My family know my wishes and are on the register themselves or have made their intentions known. I also donated blood and was registered to be a bone marrow donor before I had my pacemaker meaning I can't donate now. No idea why I can't but it's in the rules.

Also very interested in the idea of posthumous egg donation! Will look into that.

The WI has taken the issue of organ donation seriously - it is the Resolution that will be taken to the Annual Meeting this year and if is passed they will actively campaign to promote it.

Their notes make very interesting and informative reading-here from their website:
www.thewi.org.uk/__data/assets/pdf_file/0007/84931/AM-Resolution-Briefing-Notes-Increasing-Organ-Donation-March-2014-web.pdf
It includes the facts that:

The UK’s consent rate is one of the lowest in Europe - last year, four in ten families said no to allowing their loved one’s organs to be donated, even in cases when that person was on the Organ Donation Register.1 The reluctance to discuss organ donation and end of life care has led to the NHS to call for a ‘revolution in consent’ for organ donation in the UK.

Family members can stop deceased people becoming donors even if they had registered their wishes to donate. 115 families did this last year.

Three people die every day in the UK while waiting for an organ transplant.

I know it's personal choice, but when you're dead, you're dead. Why wouldn't you want to give someone else a chance to live?

"I have no injections to people being on the donor register and they shouldn't object to my decision not to be on the donor register and they certainly shouldn't be so inflammatory about my decision."

I have no quibbles with that. But, I repeat: you are now apparently less likely (not just the same amount of likely) to be on the register, in spite of how moved you felt, in spite of the stories you've just read, because you feel miffed that some other people not directly affected by your decision have been snippy with you. That (not your original decision) just seems petulant: "I'm sorry about your family member, but I am more determined than ever that my kidneys will rot rather than help them out, because that unrelated person over there was mean to me."

I was fortunate enough to receive the gift of life from my amazing and wonderful donor 7 years ago. I was in a pretty bad way when I was listed for a double organ transplant and strongly believe that I would not be alive today without having had it. To tell you the truth, the subject of organ transplants and donation had never really entered my head either when I was told that I urgently needed a transplant when I was 25. I think that I too would have felt that it was 'tempting fate' to join the register. Statistically you are actually much more likely to need a transplant than to ever donate your own organs though.
Now though, I just cannot express into words how much gratitude I have for people who are on the register. People like you and my donor have enabled me to have a life that I never could have imagined. I have even gone on to have 2 beautiful children since my transplant. I am in regular contact with my donor's mum who made the bravest and strongest decision ever when she lost her son so tragically. My DS1's middle name is that of my donors. I think about my donor and his family all of the time. I keep all of the letters we have written to each other in a special place and I also have some photos of my donor put away too. When my children are older I will be so proud to tell them about the wonderful young man who saved their mummy's life. When I wrote to my donors mum to tell her that I had had my DS1 I was very scared that she may think that I had been reckless in terms of attempting a pregnancy. My pregnancies were planned well in advance with a team of doctors and I was given a good prognosis for a successful outcome. In fact, my donors mum was delighted and told me that when she donated her sons' organs, she never dreamt that new life could go on to be created.
Someone above has said 'I feel that it is selfish to pin your hopes on somebody dying'. Really though, have you ever thought what this would be like? Whilst on the transplant waiting list I would wake up every morning wondering if this was the day that I would get the call to say that i may be receiving my transplant. Every time the phone rung I would race to it wondering if this was the call that I had been waiting for but also terrified that it might be too. I was literally waiting for someone usually young and healthy to die long before their time so that I could stay alive.
I'm not sure if selfish is the right word, I think for me my strongest emotion was guilt waiting for this phone call. After my transplant too for a while I felt incredibly guilty that I was alive and my donor wasn't. I would worry too that maybe someone else more deserving should have received his organs. After a few months though and after writing to my donors mum I felt that it was my duty to honour my donor's memory and live life to the fullest. I appreciate everything in life and I often stop to reflect on how happy, blessed and fortunate I am and how bloody lucky I am to be alive and how wonderful my life is.
I think a thread like this is great as it gets people talking about organ donation. There is lots more info available on the NHS website too.

I months expect someone to be cut up for me, as I said in my original post I have a huge amount of respect and admiration for the people that can make that decision and be at peace with it. But I am not, and I doubt I will not.

It's my body and at the end of the day I have the right to decide what happens to it, personally I find the amount of insults flying around this thread hard to comprehend. Just because my views are different to yours doesn't make me selfish, and that seems like a cop out to me.

And as for the dystopia novel comment, no we don't live like that. We like in 2014 a time when we have rights to choice and a right to consent what happens to out bodies, while we are alive and there after.

Death is personal, many people are scared of it. I think we should be reasonable enough to accept that everyone doesn't think the Same and give them the freedom of choice to decide without being bullied by your views.

I have absolutely no problem with people not agreeing with organ donation. What I have issue with is people accepting organs without being willing to be a donor themselves.

In case anyone has not said it already -

As NOK you cannot donate someones organs unless they are on the register (or a child). You can however object if they are on the register and you don't want their organs to be removed and donated.

Unless the law has changed in the last few years...

Personally I am on the register, but don't know if they would be accepted as I can not give blood after receiving a blood transfusion since 1980. Also on the bone marrow register, but don't think that would want that now either. I have contacted them several times for clarity and not had any yet.

Now that's just ridiculous. You were never gonna donate anyway. Long before this thread ever got started, so don't go blaming people for a decision made a long time ago. Either you do it or you don't, you can't become "more determined not to" with a decision like this.

Blaming strangers for a decision you made years ago is just pathetic tbh. And sounds more like childish point proving than anything else.

I do worry a bit that the Christian thing might be right and you need a whole body to be resurrected on Judgement day but I guess I'll just have to explain to Jesus why I'm a bit holey when I get there.

No they don't, but their families have rights and wishes and those wishes should be respected. Many families want to carry out the last wishes of their passed loved ones and they should be given the right to do so.

More so than the families watching someone deteriorate and die because they don't have the very things these families could give them? I don't think so.

Refusal to let someone have something that might save their life when it isn't needed by you anymore = selfish

Refusal to let someone have something that might save their life when the alternative is to bury or burn it = stupid.

I'm usually very respectful of people's opinions and beliefs but not in this case. In this case it is something that has no impact whatsoever on the donor but makes all the difference to the donee and their families.

If you've lost a loved one and are suffering that pain why on earth would you put another family through that?

clucky80 - what a very moving post. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I appear to have a little grit in my eye

Blaming strangers for a decision you made years ago is just pathetic tbh. And sounds more like childish point proving than anything else.

It isn't a decision that was made many years ago. It is something that I discussed with my husband about a year ago when I considered whether I should go on the register. He didn't want me to go on the register as he didn't want my body to be cut up if I was to die. He also wouldn't want to cremate me. As people have said; my body is no use to me after I die, however, the wishes of my loved ones are important and why would I put them in the position of being asked to do something that they don't want to do at a time when they are already grieving when it isn't something that I feel particularly strongly about.
I might be more inclined to be on the register if I had some say in who my organs would be donated to, but as that is never going to happen then I will not consider adding to any potential difficulties that my family will have if I die. I don't want to consider that I have added to my families sadness by giving my organs to somebody who has ruined their own through smoking, alcoholism, drug abuse, self induced obesity etc.
It's my choice, it's my body and people telling me that I should do something always makes me more determined to do what I feel is right for me.
I wouldn't want a donated organ myself (I can almost hear the cries of what about your children). I wouldn't want to spend my life taking anti rejection drugs. I wouldn't want to spend my life hoping that the donated organ doesn't begin to be rejected and that I need further surgery.

In all honesty the views shared by some on this thread have made me more against signing up to be a donor.

I'm sorry but I think that that is a bit of a cop out! Part of being an adult is taking responsibility for our own choices - the good, the bad and the ugly. Blaming a load of strangers for being meany yucky poofaces and "making" you make a decision is not doing this.

And being more affected by the random people commenting on a course of action being selfish than those who explained their own situation of having received, being waiting to receive or having to watch their chi,d waiting is surprising to be honest.

If you've lost a loved one and are suffering that pain why on earth would you put another family through that?

Why would I put my family through additional pain of seeing my body cut up and parts removed when it isn't what they want? I think they would already be suffering enough without having to make decisions that would add to their pain.
4in 10 families of donor cards don't agree to donation after their loved ones death. My family is not unique.

I've been on it for years, my dh refuses but would accept an organ, I've already told him as his next of kin, if anything happens to him and I'm asked about his organs, I'm saying they can take anything as he won't be able to object.

I have had funerals for 2 of my children.

When my son died I was able to donate his organs. When my daughter died I wasn't able to donate hers.

When my son died I was, obviously, devestated. Having his organs removed made no difference whatsoever to my feelings at all. My son was gone, nothing could bring him.back, and my pain was at a maximum, nothing could have made it worse.

When my daughter died I was, obviously, devestated. Being unable to donate her organs made no difference to my feelings. My pain was at a maximum anyway.

When I had my sons funeral it made no difference that his organs had been donated, as it made no difference to me at my daughters funeral that she had her organs.

The people it did make a difference to were the 2 children who recieved my sons organs, and their families and friends and teachers and in year to come their partners and children and grandchildren.

My loss is the same, nothing can change that, however, through my son their are 2 families out their without this massive gap in them. Surely that can only be good thing?

My thoughts are with you, shakinstevens. I cannot begin to imagine the pain of losing two children

Impatient surely saving people's lives is more important than a bit of an icky feeling about having your body cut up? Your body, even if buried, will eventually be cut up by worms etc anyway.

For the PP who mentioned the Christian view of needing a whole body to be resurrected, that's not really a common Christian view tbh. Many Christians are happy to be cremated.

I never for a minute thought when I was a carefree 19yr old that I would need 2 transplants in my lifetime. It can happen to anyone. When I was on dialysis I felt the life draining out of me every day and I really cannot imagine anyone would not want to see an end to that. If you are sure you wouldn't give then surely you wouldn't receive? As that involves pretty extensive 'cutting up' too

Also thank you to those who explained why they are medically unable to donate organs, the website wasn't clear on that. It does seem odd that Canada and Australia assume all Brits who were around for the CJD outbreak automatically have it though

I will definitely make sure my family know of my wishes (I know my parents are on the organ donor register so also can agree to their organs being donated). I do think it's incredibly wrong for families to veto organ donation when their loved one was on the register.

It's my choice, it's my body and people telling me that I should do something always makes me more determined to do what I feel is right for me

But you let your husband convince you not to.

Marriages break down, kids move away and start their own lives.

Why base your decision on people who may not even be around when the time comes. Either it's your body or it's not,