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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how many of you not on the organ donor register

237 replies

Normalisavariantofcrazy · 19/05/2014 12:33

Would be happy to accept an organ on behalf of yourself or a relative?

If you are, excluding health reasons, why are you not on the organ donor register? Is it just a case of not getting round to it, if so

register here

OP posts:
MyrtleDove · 19/05/2014 22:04

Alcohol and drug addictions are ILLNESSES. I am happy for my organs to help people with those illnesses.

I joined the register as soon as I turned 18 - however I joined via my Boots Advantage card, this is still valid right? I don't need to update it as long as my details are correct? Just checking.

I am a bit torn actually as I'd also like to donate my body to science, but you can't donate organs if you do that. The organ donor register says you can donate tissue/organs to research though if you give written permission.

Interestingly, the organ donor register site also says sperm and eggs can be retrieved after death, though cannot be used to create an embryo without written permission of the donor. I think I would like to do that.

MyrtleDove · 19/05/2014 22:07

And I do think it is massively selfish to let other people die just because you feel signing up for organ donation is 'tempting fate' or 'feels icky'. I would support an opt-out system, I think in this case the greater good of lives being saved supports it. The Hippocratic oath tells doctors to 'do no harm', yet people dying because someone couldn't be bothered to join the donor register is surely causing so much harm.

MyrtleDove · 19/05/2014 22:07

And I do think it is massively selfish to let other people die just because you feel signing up for organ donation is 'tempting fate' or 'feels icky'. I would support an opt-out system, I think in this case the greater good of lives being saved supports it. The Hippocratic oath tells doctors to 'do no harm', yet people dying because someone couldn't be bothered to join the donor register is surely causing so much harm.

MyrtleDove · 19/05/2014 22:07

Apologies for double post!

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 19/05/2014 22:33

I don't think it is selfish to opt out of the whole organ donor system completely - what people are objecting to is those who would receive but don't want to donate.

ElephantGoesToot · 19/05/2014 22:37

Same situation as CornishMade
I'd love to, but am not acceptable as a donor of anything.

BuggersMuddle · 19/05/2014 22:41

I am not on the register because to be honest I didn't think I could be as I'm barred from being a blood donor due to a chronic illness, so I will now look into it.

I would actually much prefer an opt out system because I also worried about the need to be 'alive' when donating, particularly when I'm older or if my life seems in some way less valuable. I've also dealt with enough arseholes in the medical profession to make me very cynical and wary. It's hard to give control over to these people at end of life when I would be in a much worse state now had I accepted some of their treatment suggestions. I think this worry would be alleviated by opt out as the assumption would be that everyone is a donor.

jellybeans · 19/05/2014 22:59

thanks SockQueen for explaining that.

SockQueen · 19/05/2014 23:07

Buggers on ICU, the doctors/nurses have no idea if someone is a donor or not most of the time, so it has no impact on the care they receive. The question is only raised if they are brainstem dead (which as someone else has already pointed out, is very different from brain dead or in a vegetative state) or if the very difficult decision is being made to withdraw care from someone for whom nothing more can be done to save. Even then, it plays no role in deciding if treatment should be withdrawn, though for logistical reasons if a patient is to become a donor it can affect when the withdrawal is done.

There are plenty of arrogant arseholes in medicine, as in any other profession, but nobody's going about harvesting organs for funsies.

MyrtleDove · 19/05/2014 23:16

Elephant and others who are not able to donate organs - can you donate your bodies to science or are you barred from that too? If you don't mind me asking (and please feel free not to answer, I am just very curious as the website doesn't talk about this), what conditions bar you from organ donation? The organ donor register website only mentions CJD and HIV, and even then says some HIV+ people can still donate to others with HIV+ status.

Andrewofgg · 19/05/2014 23:55

MyrtleDove Survivor of cancer. The problem is not that my organs might put a recipient at risk - but that it cannot be proved that they won't. Ditto my blood, although subsequent to that I take thyroxin which would also rule me out of blood donation.

Stoofa · 20/05/2014 00:03

I have name changed for this.

About 30 years ago my father had a heart transplant, he had three children at the time and worked as a policeman, just your average bobby on the beat.

At the time of his transplant he wasn't in hospital and reasonably healthy looking but had been given less than 3 months to live due to various complications. Now before anyone asks, my father was a very fit man, eat healthily and exercised daily, this was purely genetics. His children were 7, 11 and 17 and he himself was in his early 40s.

I cannot express to you just how wonderful it was to have a father growing up thanks to the actions of two other parents giving their consent for their daughter heart to be donated to my father. This poor girl had been involved in a car accident at 23 and her parents were proactive in asking about transplants as she'd once mentioned to them that she thought it was a good idea - although she'd never carried a donor card.

They never wanted to meet my father but did want to receive a letter from him, which he wrote about 5 weeks after the operation. He included his own address and asked them to keep in contact, which they did. This letter writing became a yearly ritual for my father who would write page after page of updates about our family for them, and ever year he would offer again to meet them, and each year they would politely turn him down.

After 11 years had passed they finally changed their mind and a very timid father set off to meet the people he would soon consider his step parents. They were delighted to hear that their daughters sacrifice had managed to help keep a family together as theirs was torn apart, to actually meet the person who they'd helped save.

Their daughters heart was such a good match for my father that was taken off anti-rejection drugs less than 6 months after the operation and has never needed them since. He'll be 73 later this year, is still happily in love with my mother, has 3 children, 11 grand children and 1 great grand child.

I'm just asking people to consider whether they would prefer their organs to rot, or potentially save someone like their father or mother. When you die, you don't need those organs but someone else will. This is the most personal and important decision you will ever make, so regardless of what you decide, make sure you are comfortable with it and your family know about it.

Chippednailvarnish · 20/05/2014 00:05

Great post Stoofa.

Callani · 20/05/2014 00:25

I've opted in - honestly they can take anything they could use from me and use the rest to train the next generation of doctors if it suits them. I'm not religious but I think that if my death can help someone to live, improve the quality of someone's life or help in anyway then it will be a good thing.

5OBalesofHay · 20/05/2014 00:59

No to both for me. Wouldn't accept, wouldn't donate.

Vintagecakeisstillnice · 20/05/2014 01:21

Am on register and as far as I'm c

Jengnr · 20/05/2014 05:00

Anybody who is unwilling to donate their organs is stupid and selfish in the extreme. I honestly think we shouldn't have a register at all and just take anything usable as a matter of course. It'd be less of a hoohaa for everyone then as it would be normalised.

Bodily autonomy is very important when you're alive Once you're dead it matters not one jot.

differentnameforthis · 20/05/2014 05:07

Because I live in Australia & prior to that I lived in the UK during the mad cow disease outbreak, and now I cannot donate blood or body products.

The blood donation service wants it, the organ donation service probably does too...but the powers that be say I cannot donate.

differentnameforthis · 20/05/2014 05:14

Anyone else - if you're not on the donor register you don't get to receve an organ if you need one ... Might focus the mind a little.

So how would that effect people in my shoes, for example. YOU are assuming that we don't donate because we can't be bothered/don't want to. In my case it is because they won't accept my organs or blood.

I don't think I should be refused something when I have no say in the choice to give.

singaporeswing · 20/05/2014 05:20

All of our family are signed up.

DGDad received a kidney from a dead donor which let him live for 8 years. He was then one of the first in the UK to receive a kidney from a live donor.

Without the first donor, he wouldn't have survived long enough for technology to move on and definitely wouldn't have had lived 30 years more.

SelectAUserName · 20/05/2014 05:33

I've been signed up since the register came into existence. I think I've still got my original donor card from 1986 somewhere as well! They can take whatever is useful from me.

I have also signed forms to donate my body to medical science after my death. If it were to be used for organ donation it precludes the medical research; if not the research team can choose to accept it or not depending on their needs and resources at that point in time. Hopefully whichever way it goes, I'd end up helping someone after my death, either directly through organ donation or indirectly through the results of research carried out in part on my body.

FlushGordon · 20/05/2014 06:37

Baffled by the people & pp's who say no to donation as it's 'icky' or they want to be buried whole - can I ask, if you could donate heart\lungs etc NOW, while you were still alive but without it having the slightest effect on your quality of life and without even having to go and have an op, just 'poof they're gone' would you? I would in a second and having them taken when you've already died is no different from that - your life wouldn't be affected and you wouldn't have to do\endure anything you'd be aware of, so why the ickiness just because you're dead? You do realise between now and death anyone here, god forbid, could lose limbs\bits and still end up buried with 'bits missing'.

angelos02 · 20/05/2014 06:42

If you have made a conscious decision to not be on the donor register but would accept an organ, you are beyond my comprehension. You either believe In organ donation or you don't.

littledrummergirl · 20/05/2014 06:47

*Anybody who is unwilling to donate their organs is stupid and selfish in the extreme. I honestly think we shouldn't have a register at all and just take anything usable as a matter of course. It'd be less of a hoohaa for everyone then as it would be normalised.

Bodily autonomy is very important"when you're alive"Once you're dead it matters not one jot.*

So now stupid and selfish for choosing not to donate my body. Insults, a great way to change someones opinion.

I respect your right to choose, I feel it says a lot that this is not recipricated.

littledrummergirl · 20/05/2014 06:49

Stoofa, great post.

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