To ask our nanny to eat more healthily ...

[2littleduckies]

Or even just cut out the junk food whilst she is at work?

Not long after she first started we asked her to stop feeding the DCs take away for lunch regularly and to ensure they ate at least some fruit and veg each day. This has happened more or less. She still relies on more processed food than I would like, but she is not that confident with cooking so cooking from scratch every meal is not an option.

The main issue is that she obviously doesn't eat any fruit or veg herself, drinks fizzy drinks, bags of haribo and other sweets, pasties and other 'junk food' most days at work. I would prefer she and the DCs ate the same food. I don't think it is helpful that as an example they have homemade sandwiches and she eats two happy meals - this happened when they last went for a picnic. As a side issue we also pay for her food whilst she is working, but this is primarily as she eats with them to model good table manners and eating habits. Paying for the bags of sweets and unhealthy top ups grates.

Is it unreasonable to say we will only pay for her food if it is healthy (ish) and we don't want her bringing 'junk food' into work/our house every day? I'd also like them to see her eating veg with her meals, as the DCs now say they don't like this and that, but realise that might be a step too far.

Not that it is really the point of the thread, but I do normally eat dinner with them depending on what after school activities they have and my work pattern (and yes I eat my veggies). But, she is a significant adult in their life so her telling them she doesn't eat vegetables (and I do think this happens) and that it's normal to eat lots of sweets and junk food everyday has potential to influence their understanding of food.

As I said a gentle chat about which foods I would prefer she didn't eat in front of them and how she is a role model.

Cooking classes would be great too - I think the DCs would love it.

Get another nanny or tell her to quit the McDs etc.

Personally I think you are being u telling her what to eat.

How long has she been with you OP? To be honest I think if you are keen for your DC to have a good diet, and she is someone who hates vegetables and lives on haribo and Maccy Ds then she is never going to be the right fit for you.

Actually I think the way this could work is if you say eg how about 2-3 days healthy rest junk food.

Then she could build up to 1 day junk food.

I was a nanny I ate what dc's ate unless they were asleep, they didn't get dragged around on shopping sprees for sweeties and macca's either I'd bring naughty food in my bag for when they are asleep.
It's in no way helpful to a parent to have someone your children look up to undermining you with bad examples.
BTW cooking is part of a nanny's job if she can't she needs to learn.
I think you need to explain the reasons nanny's have their food paid for and agree on a menu plan that she would be happy to eat with dc's.

I think one problem is if you've agreed to pay for her meals whilst with you during the day, and she's got away with that including happy meals x2 from McD's.

I've been a nanny for two families, and I think your arrangement is very unusual. Yes, I'd expect to be able to eat lunch etc. with the children, after I made some for us all, and I'd hope to get expenses for a cafe meal if we had a trip out, or take sandwiches. But sounds like things have got a bit out of hand. I think you need to have a chat with her. HTH x

Young children learn from the people around them. I think it is very reasonable for you to ask her to promote healthy, balanced eating.
Plan meals with her that she can prepare for the children, let her know about the food issues your children are starting to develop.
Keep the focus on them- you want them to eat a variety of good nutritious food. Say as part of that, you prefer people to role model healthy choices. So you are happy to pay for her to eat the same meals, but that you will no longer pay for the sweets & takeaways, and would prefer if she ate this on her own time only. I don't see this as any different from asking her to refrain from other bad role modelling- smoking, for example.
If she wants to be a professional nanny, she needs to understand that she is teaching the children through all her actions- good & bad.

I'd bet my lunch she bought the happy meals for the kids.

I'm not interested in her personal eating habits, only what she says about food and eats directly in front of my children.

I was initially on the fence with this, until I thought about it for more than two seconds and realised that paying someone to eat McDonald's in front of your kids is just not on. I agree it's part of the job to set a good example. DFOD award of the thread goes to crystal for suggesting that having a nanny at all is some sort of crime. Seriously, do fuck of with that judgemental bullshit.

Glad you think so-this is why I'm not a nanny.

I am however a mother & wouldn't dream of preaching to another adult about what they eat-not my business.

Clearly the OP thinks she's a capable adult or she wouldn't have hired her to care for DC.

OP but you are interested in her personal eating habits else why post about this here?!

To be fair she has no choice if she wants to
eat unhealthily in front of the children unless she swaps her choices.

She does have a choice whether to say or not junk food is bad though to your DC.

As several others have said, you need a new nanny. Just make sure you discuss and agree on your requirements when hiring her replacement.

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. Being a role model and helping them to develop into healthy adults is part of her job description.

I wouldn't be paying for her food either.

She could still get away lying to you though re her choices and the kids would rat on her.

I don't think this is on. At some point the dcs will not be happy to eat a banana while she eats sweets.

I'd tell her that while you are happy with her generally, you have a major concern about the food. See what her response is. If she is not willing to change than I'd seriously consider looking for a new nanny. I think you need to communicate that this may be a deal breaker.

Haven't you discussed this at the interview?

It is part of the job to encourage good eating habits (i have been on both sides-nanny and nanny employer and i don't think it is an odd request).

If you want to be diplomatic then you could ask her opinion and help as professional blah blah because you notice that the children are off veg and fruit and you are looking for ideas about reversing this situation etc.

It is not at all unreasonable to ask her to not eat bags of sweets in front of the kids, if the kids are not allowed them. I am gobsmacked that anyone things it is.

You said you had to ask her to stop feeding the kids on takeaways regularly. Do you mean she kept giving them McD /KFC for lunch?

YANBU! Part of her job is to be a role model. It's similar to hcp not smoking on hospital grounds. Look for a different nanny.

I totally see your point op. You talked about your expectations at interview- she's reneged. What else did she fib about? I don't think it sounds like a meeting of minds. I'd let her go.

We did discuss food at interview, but in retrospect not in enough detail. Her job description also talks about healthy food for the DCs, no fizzy drinks, sweets only as special treat etc. It doesn't say what she can or can't eat in front of them - is that something other nanny employers include? We do say no smoking at work, I can't decide if that is similar or not.

Pretty much speedwell I came home to join them for lunch as was passing the house and they had sausage and chips from the chippy. Okay for a treat maybe, but not a normal Tuesday lunch and it was clear it was more her choice.

Time for another chat.

How on earth did you get into a situation where you are paying for her MacDonalds?

Can you not just tell her that she needs to cook for herself and the children from the food in the kitchen, or take sandwiches for picnics?