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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disgusting?

121 replies

lucidlady · 18/05/2014 10:47

We are toilet training 2.5 year old DD. She goes to a childminder, and I send her off every day with several changes of clothes and a travel potty in case they are out and about. CM has been very enthusiastic and supportive of the toilet training.

DD still has the odd accident, which is fine, she has spare clothes and bags to put the wet stuff in. I've just opened up the bag of stuff that the CM put in on Friday, to discover that she has left the actual poo in the pants. I was almost sick on the spot.

AIBU to think this is grim and should I say something to her?

OP posts:
TheTerribleBaroness · 18/05/2014 10:50

Why has it taken you two days to attend to your child's soiled clothes? That is disgusting in itself, regardless of what the CM may or may not have done.

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 10:51

Well pardon me for not having had time to put a wash on yet. If she'd told me she'd left the actual poo in there I'd have dealt with it on Friday.

OP posts:
Lufian · 18/05/2014 10:52

I think it's fine. She may not have been near a toilet. Would have been nice to get a heads up though

lilrascal · 18/05/2014 10:52

agree. why has it taken 2 days? and how in the name of god did you not find a smell?

uptheauntie · 18/05/2014 10:53

I would ask the cm to just bin pants she has pooed in. That will deal with that. She should have rinsed them out, but I would just tell her to bin them

I have, on occasion, forgotten to take soiled clothes out of DDs nursery bag until a day or two after. Big deal?!

SqutterNutBaush · 18/05/2014 10:53

Its not ideal no but if she was out and about and had to just sling it in a bag then fair enough.

You really should have sorted soiled clothing by now though.

CortanaFights · 18/05/2014 10:54

So you did have the time to deal with it on Friday, as you say you would have dealt with it then had you known?

A wash takes seconds to put on, unless you're using a scrubber and a mangle.

lilrascal · 18/05/2014 10:54

how did you not smell it though??????? that baffles me the most.

SqutterNutBaush · 18/05/2014 10:54

Ah sorry just seen that you weren't told they were soiled.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 18/05/2014 10:56

She was BU but so were you for leaving it.

JodieGarberJacob · 18/05/2014 10:57

Interesting that you say they should have been rinsed out. I never do that at school. The child just puts the soiled clothing in a bag and takes it home.

FunnyFoot · 18/05/2014 10:58

So you were happy to leave urine soaked clothes in a bag for 2 days?

Maybe the CM forgot to mention it at pick up.
Maybe the CM didn't notice the poo and just whipped off the wet clothes and put them in the bag.

I think you're more disgusting for not checking the dirty clothes bag sooner tbh.

Looseleaf · 18/05/2014 10:58

I think she definitely should have told you! Well worth asking her to tell you if this happens again and is make sure not a discussion held near your dd in case she feels shamed (i always said to our children what a lovely poo when they went on the loo so they didn't feel any shame about it(!))

candycoatedwaterdrops · 18/05/2014 10:59

Oh wait, just to check; did you know your DD had an accident?

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:00

There was no smell until I opened DD's rucksack today and just about vommed on the spot. The offending pants had been triple bagged and then shoved in. Today is my first day off this week - DD was also wearing the same trousers when she came home on Friday as she'd left the house in, and CM didn't tell me there'd been an accident let alone that the evidence of said accident had been carefully preserved for posterity.

Is that enough of a defence to the tardy washing accusations?

OP posts:
lilrascal · 18/05/2014 11:00

eh no

KoalaDownUnder · 18/05/2014 11:01

I don't really get it.

I'm not a paid child minder, but if I'd had my 2-year-old nephew out with me, and he'd had an 'accident' that involved some poo, and I had to fold the pants up into a parcel and put them in a plastic bag because there was no toilet nearby...I probably wouldn't then undo the plastic bag when I got home to scrape the poo into the toilet, then roll the pants up and bag them again.

I'd probably assume that his mum would deal with the whole 'parcel' as soon as she got home; at least to rinse/soak the pants, if she wasn't putting a wash on immediately.

Does that make sense?

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 18/05/2014 11:01

YANBU and I think you're getting some harsh responses! If you weren't told that the clothes were soiled, there's no reason to be dashing home on a Friday to put the washer on. I often leave clothes that are just 'worn' in DS' nursery bag before repacking it ready for the next week.
Tell her to bin the pooey pants next time.

lilrascal · 18/05/2014 11:04

u are toilet training. surely you would check it every day she came home.

Bowlersarm · 18/05/2014 11:04

Grin the irony.

OP: disgusting cm...mutter mutter mutter....complain complain

posters: eeugh...disgusting OP.....mutter mutter

I think if I were the cm, I would expect you to check your DD's bag before Sunday tbh. You know she has accidents-you supply the spare clothes for that very reason.

FunnyFoot · 18/05/2014 11:05

No it takes seconds to fill the washer and press start. It can be done in the time it takes to boil a kettle.

If you do say something to the CM then I suggest you keep the 'disgust' tone out and merely mention it in passing. You could say:

'I has an unpleasant surprise on Sunday morning when I found a poo in DD's dirty wash bag. Put me right off my breakfast'

Or do you think the CM will judge you as disgusting for not checking the bag sooner.

Thenapoleonofcrime · 18/05/2014 11:06

She might have thought you wanted to save them, I wouldn't, I would have just binned them. If you prefer that, tell her!

I don't think it is realistic for her, when out and about, to start scraping poo off. I would only do that if I was near a toilet and a washing machine. At home is the place for dealing with pooey knickers.

At school they certainly won't clean anything out if they have an accident, it's all just shoved in the bag.

The thing I think she should have done was tell you- easily forgotten but just remind her to let you know if there's been an accident. I would also let her know if you want her to bin them or bag them, but you can't expect her to be scraping out the poo and dealing with that as she isn't going to wash them immediately afterwards.

Cornettoninja · 18/05/2014 11:06

Talk to your Cm.

It may have genuinely slipped her mind at pick up, and she has a perfectly reasonable explanation (out and about is most likely or autopilot and not thinking), just like yours for being too busy to put a wash on the second you got home on Friday Wink

I second the suggestion to have a policy of chucking any underwear caught in the cross fire of backside bombs. Much easier all round.

jacks365 · 18/05/2014 11:08

The cm should have informed you of the accident but it is possible that she just forgot. If it happened while out then that is how I would expect my child care to deal with it. I wouldn't expect them to reopen everything to rinse the pants out when they got back.

MrsCosmopilite · 18/05/2014 11:09

When we were toilet training DD she was at nursery. Still is. We used to send her with a spare set of clothes in case of accidents.
Nursery would shake out any offensive bits or bin anything beyond redemption. We were always notified of any 'wets' or 'smears' on collection.