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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this is disgusting?

121 replies

lucidlady · 18/05/2014 10:47

We are toilet training 2.5 year old DD. She goes to a childminder, and I send her off every day with several changes of clothes and a travel potty in case they are out and about. CM has been very enthusiastic and supportive of the toilet training.

DD still has the odd accident, which is fine, she has spare clothes and bags to put the wet stuff in. I've just opened up the bag of stuff that the CM put in on Friday, to discover that she has left the actual poo in the pants. I was almost sick on the spot.

AIBU to think this is grim and should I say something to her?

OP posts:
maddening · 18/05/2014 11:10

Why not rascal - no evidence of an accident and not informed - why would you rush to wash clothes you didn't know existed.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 18/05/2014 11:11

If she didn't tell you that your daughter had an accident, then of course YANBU! It sounded like she had told you but you didn't realise the extent of the soiling.

Viviennemary · 18/05/2014 11:12

I think what your CM did was vile. Not sure if I'd say anything though if she is good in other ways. I'd just seethe and moan about it.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 18/05/2014 11:14

I'm a TA in a reception class. If a pupil has a soiled accident I do dispose of poo down the toilet and rinse the underwear.

She should have told you but people do forget.

Lonecatwithkitten · 18/05/2014 11:15

I also have a job where I work nights and weekends. I found that as soon as I got home it was best to muck out nursery bag and now school bag. It is a really good habit to get into particularly once they are in school and you quickly discover the festering half eaten apple at the bottom of the bag. Plus the really important letter than has to be returned the next day.
That along with laying the breakfast things before bed are my two must do jobs every single evening.

SpottieDottie · 18/05/2014 11:17

If you are doing potty training then why leave the clothes until Sunday?! We're not potty training but on Friday nights the laundry from school etc is done and hung out to dry and then we can relax and enjoy the weekend without having dirty clothes hanging around.

GlaikitFizzog · 18/05/2014 11:17

Get a book for her bag. CM can write in it anything you need to know. ALWAYS check the bag when you get home. I've found forgotten apples and other unknown pices of fruit at the bottom of DSs bag!

My CM started chucking DSs pants, but one day said she didn't because she was worried how many pairs she had thrown that week Blush.

BobTheFly · 18/05/2014 11:17

I'm a cm and happy to potty train. However I'm not scrapping poo out of pants!

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:18

I'd forgotten how perfect everyone on Mumsnet is. Thank you to all of those who have taken the time to point out how negligent I am for not dealing with something I didn't know had to be dealt with.

CM did not tell me there had been an accident. DD looked to be wearing the exact same clothes that she'd left the house in.

I'm not saying she should have scraped it off if they'd been out (which incidentally they hadn't - they'd been at home all day) what I am saying is that she should have told me there was hazardous waste in the bag.

Clearly IABU for:

Not being telepathic
Not rushing in to put a wash on the second I got home and instead saving it to reward myself on my day off

I shall mend my ways immediately.

OP posts:
lilrascal · 18/05/2014 11:18

maddening then I was tt ds and he was at cm I checked his bag every evening to make sure nothing was soiled or wet. surely the child has a drink bottle or something else that you would go though the bag anyways. but if we are to give the op slack by saying she "forgot" to check bag why cant we say same of cm. anyways, just my opinion. op asked if she was bu and I think she is.

lilrascal · 18/05/2014 11:20

lucidlady get over yourself ... why did you ask for opinions if you are so sure you are right ... its not a big deal. say it to cm if you wish. no biggy.

so dramatic!!

WooWooOwl · 18/05/2014 11:21

Tell her to bin any pooey pants in future.

TheReluctantCountess · 18/05/2014 11:23

We've had poo pants back from school before. Maybe there is a guideline they have to follow or something?

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:24

Because I genuinely wanted to know if I was being U to think this was grim. Majority opinion is that I am, so I shall suck it up.

OP posts:
Forgettable · 18/05/2014 11:24

From your posts this is the first poo pants episode so bear in mind the cm might bag up unscraped poo pants in future, checking bag every day is a good plan

SpottieDottie · 18/05/2014 11:24

OP you don't need to be telepathic, you just need to apply a bit of common sense when potty training and understand that there may be dirty pants in your child's bag.
My children take fruit to school for a snack, I don't need to be telepathic to know that there may be an uneaten banana in there at the end of the day and to check, thus avoiding a disgusting mess a couple of days later. It's just one of those things to do.

lilrascal · 18/05/2014 11:25

well if that was the case what was with post at 11.18?! Hmm

anyways some good advice, just politely ask her to bin all pooey pants in future.

Cornettoninja · 18/05/2014 11:29

Reluctantcountess, I think it's just easier to return everything rather than bin it. Some people would want to salvage the clothing and complain if it was binned, so rather than have the row it's easier to return it for people to do what they want

Down side of that been getting literally everything back!

Lucid, don't take it so personally, bin the offending baggage and move on. It's a short time this kind of thing is likely to happen so take the path of least resistance and try not to let it get to you Smile

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:32

I always ask her how things have been when I pick DD up - if there's been an accident she usually tells me. I didn't know there had been an accident on Friday so didn't know I had any washing to deal with. I opened the bag this morning to re-stock it for the week ahead. We are not talking smeary poo pants (which I would not moan about but would instead just soak and then wash) but an actual turd sitting in the bag.

And I shall definitely be emptying the bag every night from now on and not just taking conversation with CM at face value!!!

Thanks all.

OP posts:
SauvignonBlanche · 18/05/2014 11:34

I wouldn't expect anyone to scrape off smeared poo from underpants. I used to buy packets of 5 from the Tesco value range for £2.50 and bin them if they got soiled. I suggest you ask your CM to do the same.

SpringBreaker · 18/05/2014 11:44

I think you lot are being really harsh here on the OP. She wasnt told anything by the CM, so just assumed that the bag was full of clean dry unsoiled clothes. Why on earth would she have needed to look in it in that case?

I think it is grim and the CM should have mentioned it, but forgot. I would probably just say "thanks for the warning about the poo.. that was a lovely surprise".

Why on earth she couldnt have found a toilet to put it down I have no idea.

pinkdelight · 18/05/2014 11:44

I've had two good CMs and one outstanding CM for my DCs and none of them have done poo-scraping. It's bagged up and send home for loving parents to enjoy. Fair enough I reckon. They have almost always told me though, so I can deal with it straight away. Once or twice it mightn't slipped their minds. Expect that's what happened with your CM. I wouldn't make a fuss about it, just cheerily ask her to warn you next time so you don't get another 'surprise'!

pinkdelight · 18/05/2014 11:46

x-post with spring. only point of difference, i'd say, are that there are some poos that are easily plopped from pant to toilet, other poos, no way. then you're into the pant-scraping territory. see above.

Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:49

CM told us not to use the cheap ones but to get the towelling ones from Mothercare.

OP posts:
Original poster
lucidlady · 18/05/2014 11:51

Thanks Spring and others.

This was definitely a "plopper" rather than scraping job.

Anyway lesson learned!!!

OP posts: