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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think this is disgusting?

121 replies

lucidlady · 18/05/2014 10:47

We are toilet training 2.5 year old DD. She goes to a childminder, and I send her off every day with several changes of clothes and a travel potty in case they are out and about. CM has been very enthusiastic and supportive of the toilet training.

DD still has the odd accident, which is fine, she has spare clothes and bags to put the wet stuff in. I've just opened up the bag of stuff that the CM put in on Friday, to discover that she has left the actual poo in the pants. I was almost sick on the spot.

AIBU to think this is grim and should I say something to her?

OP posts:

Babymamaroon · 18/05/2014 20:07

Lucid YANBU!! I would expect the offending poo to have been shaken into a toilet and most definitely a heads up.

All you can do is learn from this and always ask the CM for an accident log perhaps?

BillyBanter · 18/05/2014 20:13

She probably just forgot to tell you. It's hardly crime of the century.

scarlet. They were not the CM's pants to bin. If she'd done that a parent might have been just as annoyed.

scarletforya · 18/05/2014 20:20

I work in a creche and shitty pants always get binned. Not one parent has ever complained!

I've just read the thread and seen that some people do keep them, and put them in the washing machine! I wouldn't put shit in the washing machine.

As for rinsing them out, that is not an option as the only sinks are for washing hands or food preparation, so no way.

plantsitter · 18/05/2014 20:30

I think it would be fine to say jokily to the CM 'urgh can you tell me if there's poo in the pants that was gross!' or something. You don't have to tell her you only found it today.

And don't worry about the perfect laundresses on here I have left dirty knickers longer than 2 days before now and we're still alive.

MrsWolowitz · 18/05/2014 20:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jacks365 · 18/05/2014 20:34

Scarlet how do you think people who use washable nappies clean them? I wash them in the machine so I wouldn't think twice about throwing knickers in there.

heatseeker14 · 18/05/2014 21:02

I can't believe so many are saying bin the pants? Its only poo FGS and from what OP said a solid one unless I am mistaken, the poo gets shaken down toilet job done.
When my kids did this whilst toilet training I would wipe the poo off with paper/wipe and the pants went in the wash. I don't get it you wipe their bottoms so what is the difference wiping it off their pants?! By the way I am not at all suggesting a CM should wipe/wash soiled pants, but chucking a solid poo down the toilet would not have hurt.

MrsMook · 18/05/2014 23:06

I can't believe the numbers saying to bin the pants either. What a waste of money and resources needed to grow cotton (a water thirsty crop, which is often an environmental problem in LEDCs). Does this mean that entire wardobes of baby and toddler clothes get landfilled, rather than just washed? DS1 managed to poo neck to knee in his clothes most days up to 3 times a day when his digestive system was recovering from intolerances. Ditching everything he pooed in would have cost £££ per month.

If a toilet is avaliable, just tip the poo in. Then was with a pre wash. Napisan is good for keeping clothes hygienic at low temperatures.

shakes head and mutters to self

gamerchick · 18/05/2014 23:11

Pooing up the back usually means going up a size in nappies, vests and perhaps clothes. Might not get your moneys worth out of them but yanno

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 18/05/2014 23:22

Crikey, you're a delicate flower if you're so revolted by your own child's pooey clothes

whydoibothersometimes · 19/05/2014 00:46

I actually think its disgusting that the cm left a poo and bagged it up for you to find - even if you would have opened it the same day!! It's bloody offensive! I'm sure everyone would be up in arms if a cm put a shitty nappy in the bag, so why is it ok for knickers? In fact for being so strange to bag a poo up for you to find, when they have been home all day is bizarre. I'd put my dx back in nappies while they were at cm to be honest - apparently poo in nappies is ok for a cm to deal with - but not in knickers.....

cerealqueen · 19/05/2014 00:51

I don't see anything wrong here at all. When DD1 was at a childminder, she was in cloth nappies and they came back to us, complete with contents, sometimes for scraping code word 'korma' ,sometimes they were roll on roll off, code word 'bhaji'.

One weekend I forgot to empty the bag and it had been three a couple of days!

IfISpellItWrongIsThatOk · 19/05/2014 01:39

Yabu, my dc nursery do the same it's normal .

Stubbed · 19/05/2014 01:59

I don't get the problem. Your child was clean, the mess was contained, someone (you, fair enough as you are the parent) put on some rubber gloves and sorted out the mess later. Mind you I use cloth so a few poos don't bother me

LiberalLibertine · 19/05/2014 02:24

Just out of interest op, what did you do with the pants?!

YANBU to find it gross, or for not checking bag immediately

CM is BU to tell you which pants to buy, and for forgetting to tell you about the turd in the bag.

LottyLikesWindows · 19/05/2014 02:45

Well said MrsMook

GoshAnneGorilla · 19/05/2014 03:37

I have a very strong stomach, have seen and dealt with all kinds of bodily fluids and I still would not be thrilled to encounter an unexpected, several day old poo, even if it did come from my beloved children. YANBU.

I would not expect the CM to scrape/rinse the knickers, but a warning would be nice. On the other hand, in the busyness of the day, accidents can be forgotten about and the CM may have just forgotten to tell you.

The Always Check Bag Immediately is a top tip and it's a shame this thread couldn't have been similar tips with a bit of "Oh well, these things happen".

Instead the OP is accused of slurring the CM profession, being a slattern and killing the planet. Ridiculous.

LibraryMum8 · 19/05/2014 03:59

I do not think YABU. She should have told you. However, I wouldn't fault her for not dumping it if they were out and about. Next time just tell her to bin them if you want, if you want them back I would not ever expect anyone to rinse them. Just gross.

Mutley77 · 19/05/2014 06:57

No you can't expect her to be scraping out poo and rinsing the pants IMO. She is there to look after your child not do your laundry. My cm has previously binned pants (I think DS only had one poo accident when he was with her) - she just said I hope you don't mind I binned the pants as they were full of poo - fine. Personally I wouldn't have minded either if she'd sealed them up carefully and I would have dealt with them (or binned them myself dep what kind of day I was having!!).

Same happens at nursery and school I believe - although not experienced it myself.

And I agree I always empty the bag straight away but that's my way of managing to keep everyone organised :)

CrohnicallyHungry · 19/05/2014 07:07

gamerchick dd was EBF and managed to poo up her back or out of the legs almost every single time, regardless of the size or brand of nappy, vest etc. At least until I went over to cloth nappies for her.

She recently had rotavirus. I put her in disposables because I had too much sicky washing to do and no clean nappies, and she was back to exploding everywhere. Maybe it's her body shape or the force at which she poos, I don't know!

(I didn't bin anything though, except one vest that was beyond salvaging, I just did a hot wash with bio washing liquid, then re washed with non bio to make sure nothing remained)

PS I work in a school and always carefully bag pants up and send home with a warning. If there was a solid poo then I would flush it though, after all I am in the toilets to help the child change. Never had a solid one though as it's usually because a child is unwell that they have had an accident.

naty1 · 19/05/2014 07:52

I think you should have been told.

I also would not bin. Again allergic bf baby.
I did find bigger nappies helped. But also huggies better than pampers.

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