To think people should't take part in religious ceremonies that they have no respect for

[Vintagejazz]

I was at my niece's first Holy Communion in Dublin today and the behaviour in the Church was absolutely shocking. People chatting throughout the Mass, standing up taking photographs durng the ceremony despite the priest having requested at the start that people wouldn't do this, allowing toddlers to scream and roar without taking them outside, and basically treating the whole thing with no respect whatsoever.
If people don't have any belief and don't see First Holy Communion as a sacred religious event, that's fine. But why take part and ruin it for the people for whom it does have some meaning (not to mention the huge discourtesy to the teachers who had spent months planning, organising and rehearsing so that the event would be meaningful and lovely).
It was awful and someone back at the lunch afterwards told me they were at a Holy Communion last week where the noise was even worse.

Why do people do this? No one's putting a gun to their heads and fording them to take part. Either treat church ceremonies and services with respect, or don't partake.

I would say that's basic good manners they lacked.

My dad doesn't respect my faith, but he'd always be good mannered about it in church - I think that's ok.

I hope this didn't completely spoil her day.

YANBU.

Whatever the occasion, if there is a formal set piece bit, you either join in or stay quiet as a polite observer.

If you utterly disapprove of the occasion, then you decline the invitation.

LRD a lot of the problem was with the parents of the children making their Communion. But I agree that relatives attending the ceremony should have manners and respect as well.

In our parish last month during confirmation, a fight broke out between separated parents. I think he broke her nose. The Bishop came down from the altar to intervene. All in front of their 12 year old child and her entire class.
Shocking.

Kids should not be removed from the church, they have as much right as anyone to be there! I am horrified that you expect this - i assume you don't have kids?!

My vicar encourages kids and begs parents not to leave when they create as he rightly believes it is their house of worship as much as anyones.

That's fine need. But I presume you're not intending to chat during the ceremony, stand up blocking everyone's view of the altar every time your DSD is doing something, and allow your DSs to scream and cry when some child is singing a sole or doing a reading that they've been practising for months?

wheresthelight so if a child is nervously reading a prayer from the altar or singing a song that they've been practising at home and in school for ages, it's okay to let your child drown them out because they have 'as much right to be there as anyone else'.
I'm horrified at your attitude and at your assumption that only people who don't have children would object to such lack of consideration.

To be honest, I think you've missed the point of my OP.

The point of church is it's a family environment so children should always be welcomed

That said, parents should keep them under control and remove them from the service if appropriate

Exactly, wheresthelight. Little children should be welcome in church. Little children are noisy. Therefore churches are noisy. if they are not, something is wrong. So much better to hear children in church than not to hear children in church!

Our church has the service on a speaker in a side room that is filled with toys so that parents with small children can take them there and still be part of the service.

So if your child screamed through a bride and groom making their vows in church that's okay is it AElfgifu?

need you certainly wouldn't be considered to be wrong for taking your crying child out of the Church. That is perfectly normal behaviour and anyone who made you feel guilty would be the unreasonable one.

By the way, I'm not talking about a normal Sunday service. I'm talking about a special occasion that takes place on a Saturday and is focussed on the children making their Holy Communion. This thread is being dragged off topic. It's about parents and relatives who have no respect for the sacrament and chat through it, take photographs etc and also, allow screaming children to drown out the other children for who it is a big occasion and who have been practising their parts for ages.

It's not a thread about children at normal Sunday services.

Children have a right to be in many places but there is a time and a place for being noisy and a nuisance or distraction and a Church is not it.
Screaming during wedding vows - disappointing for the bride and groom. Tantrumming during a eulogy - devastating for the grieving family. Shouting during the singing - fine, they are allowed to be there.

I have NO respect for religious ceremonies. What I do have respect for is humans. If I go to someone's ceremony however nonsensical I think it is, I shut up and act well because it is their belief and their choice.

Children are a different matter and I like having kids around weddings, christenings and similar even if they are a little loud.

Children do not have a 'right' to scream and roar through Wedding or First Holy Communion services and parents who think they do are rude and inconsiderate and need to think less about their children's 'rights' and more about showing other people a bit of respect.
And I don't agree they're entitled to shout when a small child is performing a solo at a First Holy Communion ceremony. That is a big moment for an 8 year old and a very proud and nervous moment for their parents and grandparents. Have a bit of manners and take your screaming child outside.

MrsTerryPratchett would you also thing it okay for a toddler to shout during a child singing a solo at a school nativity play, regardless of the proud parents and grandparents wanting to hear them?

Perhaps if it was voluntary and outside of the school curriculum then behaviour in church would improve as only the believers would do it. I know that technically it is voluntary but almost all primary schools are Catholic and 2nd Class is pretty much devoted to preparing for 1st communion so it would be a real effort NOT to do it. Under the circumstances it's not that surprising that parents treat it like a school play rather than a solomn religious ceremony.

Tbh you're talking about a catholic service which are, to me, long and dull and send me as a practicing Christian to sleep.

BUT they are and important part of the catholic faith and as such the congregation should be respectful of this and more importantly of the children who it's all about

DH is lapsed Catholic. His DM sadly passed away three years ago. Every year since, his DF has her name mentioned especially in a mass on or around the date of her passing. I'm heathen (apparently ) and although I don't have a faith, I have respect, and I take care of 2.5yo DS while DH is with his family. When - always 'when', not 'if' - DS starts shouting so he can hear his voice echoing, I try and interest him in something, but if it doesn't work, I take him out.

The churches we go to don't have special rooms for children to play in, I have never experienced that. I think they're a great idea - although I take DS to run around a park or something anyway.

Some people just lack manners, OP.

Sorry, I meant Itsfab not MrsTerryPratchett

I reckon these parents though allow their kids to bellow through the school nativity too and sit in the front seats standing up taking photos on their tablets

Some people are just knobs