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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit wtf ??

179 replies

motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:02

Have had lunch with my friend today and was telling her that i had managed to get a week in the summer hols for me and ds at a caravan.
She asked how big it was (3 bed) and straight away launched into how it was too big for just the two of us and that wouldnt it be great if her and her 4dc came with us as we would have the spare room.
Now i know that this point it is not unreasonable, but quick as a flash she said how great it would be for the kids to have a holiday as she couldnt afford to take them.
I stupidly then said ' well it would work out cheaper if we split the cost i suppose and the kids would have fun ect' that was that.
Ive got home and she has sent me a text saying how she is gutted that she has been asked to pay as after all i have already booked and paid and it wouldnt cost me anything as after all there is room to spare, so she doesnt see what difference it will make her not paying, and that i am being very selfish.

Guess i was just a bit gobsmacked, so aibu?? just didnt see it coming to be honest. i suppose it wouldnt cost much more, just the extra bed linin ect.

OP posts:
diddl · 17/05/2014 08:19

Oh that's priceless.

Caravan a bit of a let down-unless you blag it for free??!!

Wonder how long before she tells folks that you ruined her only chance of a holiday this year!!

You're better off without her.

Hope your holiday goes well & you both have a lovely time.

RedRoom · 17/05/2014 08:26

How lovely that her kids are used to holidays abroad, but a real shame that she couldn't afford to chip in £1 for your caravan trip [hmmm].

True colours, and all that. You are well rid. Oh, and well done for giving her an earful in spectacular fashion.

Itsfab · 17/05/2014 08:49

SCSF - Are you the OP with a name change fail? [eek]

eddielizzard · 17/05/2014 09:03

haha that's so funny.

so she would have been slumming it to enjoy a free holiday at your expense as she can't afford holidays, yet her dc's are used to overseas holidays?

silly. it's just the jealousy talking and i think you're well rid. she's a user.

Raskova · 17/05/2014 09:10

Genuinely laughing out loud at her. She has no shame!

OP, you're a legend and a big well done!!!

I've recently had a situation that was very similar but also the opposite.

I had a holiday booked at the ever glamorous hemsby and decided I couldn't bare to spend a long weekend with DDs DF (XP but still friends/living together due to finances) so invited a couple that we are very close to and her DS is my DDs friend. They said they couldn't afford to pay half towards chalet and I said it really didn't matter as I'd rather have them there and I'd paid already etc etc so wasn't costing me. They could just buy us a meal or something (we eat cheaply...)

That's the difference. Real friends offer...

In the end they didn't buy us a meal so I was slightly perturbed but they have promised we'll do it again and they'll pay for that one but they don't owe us anything and I genuinely enjoyed them being there.

CeliaFate · 17/05/2014 09:14

What a cheeky bitch she is!
Rude, ungracious, grabby, cheapskate, entitled, shameless...I could go on!
YANBU, ditch the bitch, she's no loss.

Goldmandra · 17/05/2014 09:24

I'm glad you told her the truth, OP. She won't be constantly trying to use you now Grin

MaryWestmacott · 17/05/2014 09:37

OP, if you are facebook friends with her, please please start lots of holiday related comments! A count down to holiday, asking for any suggestions what to do there, post some old photos of yourself on bucket and spade holidays as a child with a "can't wait until XXX to take my boy to YYY to create some amazing memories like this!"

She was rude about your holiday, rubbing her nose in it is definately acceptable... Grin

Goldmandra · 17/05/2014 09:42

She was rude about your holiday, rubbing her nose in it is definately acceptable...

The unpleasantness it might trigger could spoil the whole thing for the OP. Washing your dirty linen on FB has a habit of biting you on the bum.

I would just let this go. The 'friend' was cross when she saw her free holiday slipping through her fingers and lashed out. She's a user but she may also be feeling rather inadequate as she can't find the money to pay for it herself.

I wouldn't be inflaming this situation if I could help it.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 17/05/2014 09:49

Grin What a fab happy ending! DEFINITELY send her a postcard - the caravan and the ass sounds a treat Grin

ColdTeaAgain · 17/05/2014 10:21

Oh well done motherofmonster! She 100% deserved that!

I can totally understand the combination of shaking with rage and giggles, she is both infuriating and ridiculous in equal measures! She definitely has issues, who falls out with someone over something like this?!

You will have a fab time with your son, definitely rub her nose in it via facebook if you can, in fact I'd probably tag her in your status and photos!

naty1 · 17/05/2014 10:46

tBH i can understand her pt you have already paid to hence not costing more.
But that would be more like if you had lots of kids and she was 1 person hence not making any diff to you.
But i would never invite myself!! Plus not enough rooms so what you share with your DS and they have 2 rooms not exactly relaxing for you.
But as they would be using more they should pay more not nothing really.
Could they not have gone down and camped that would be cheaper

pictish · 17/05/2014 12:07

Exactly...she and her four children, would need two of the rooms, while OP would get one for herself and her ds. So she pays for a three bedroomed caravan, but only gets to use one, while her 'friend' pays nothing and takes over residence of two bedrooms.
Err...yeah ok. Sounds like a good deal. Grab your bucket and spade budski! Hmm

hixchix · 17/05/2014 12:14

Its not costing more but its the principal.... you save up and pay for everything and il invite myself and my four kids along for a free jolly.

mimishimmi · 17/05/2014 12:36

Did anyone else read this as a 3 bed caravan (as in literally 3 beds -eg 2 doubles and the dining seat which converts) and not 3 bedrooms? A 3 bedroom van would be very unusual.

hixchix · 17/05/2014 12:38

A 3 bedroom static is very common up here Smile

But that would still be cramped.

OnlyLovers · 17/05/2014 12:46

stick the caravan up my fat arse. That would make me giggle too. Grin
Well done, OP. Clearly this was the kind of 'friend' you needed like a hole in the head.

You and your poor child, only having a holiday in the boring old UK. Her kids have obviously dodged a bullet. Weird though that, if they're so used to going abroad, she was so keen to freeload along bring them on your underwhelming British holiday. Hmm

Send her a postcard of a donkey's arse.

KingJoffreysBloodshotEye · 17/05/2014 12:52

Hmm...

If her children will only be happy abroad then why did she even want to come?

Confused

Weirdo.

And a grumpy 14 year old in a caravan for a week? Fuck no.

cerealqueen · 17/05/2014 13:24

But naty1 it would cost her, not financially but she would not be having the holiday she had envisaged, would have to compromise hugely. In those type of circumstances, some kind of financial recompense would be in order as she might want to take her Ds on more days out so they get that time together.

naty1 · 17/05/2014 13:40

No i think its more if you started off planning it together of course you would pay equally or appropriately.
But the other woman thought she could get away with a freebee due to reasons she gave.
I guess if someone bought a pizza and left some you said can i finish it for you.
But it does impact Op so agree she should have been paid.

hixchix · 17/05/2014 13:48

Using the pizza analogy i see it as if i bought a pizza for me and dp and my friend waited until i'd paid and then helped herself and her 4 dcs to a slice each leaving not much for us.
Just bare faced cheeek!! Grin

minionmadness · 17/05/2014 14:05

Go and enjoy the break with your ds. You'll have a great time. We took dts's for caravan holiday and a week abroad last year and when we asked which one they enjoyed... the caravan won.

Let her go abroad with her 4!

Topaz25 · 17/05/2014 16:38

You are better off with this awful person out of your life. Ignore her, she is absolutely ridiculous. One minute she is so desperate for a holiday she is reduced to freeloading off her friends, the next a caravan isn't good enough for her because she's more used to foreign holidays! Yeah right, I doubt she could blag a holiday abroad for free! Your holiday was good enough for her when she was begging to go! And she has a cheek to say that adding all those extra people won't inconvenience you and she shouldn't have to pay. Enjoy your holiday (and the rest of your life) without her.

Maryz · 17/05/2014 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Deverethemuzzler · 17/05/2014 16:45

I am still shuddering at the thought of sharing a caravan with someone else's four kids.
And I love kids.

Has she ever been in a caravan? Did she really think that five people can fit in the third bedroom of a caravan Shock

Glad you sorted it OP.

I had someone trying to blag my 'van the other day. The woman has blanked me for years. Now she wants to know me.

Feck off.

My 'van is for me and my nice friends.