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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think this is a bit wtf ??

179 replies

motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:02

Have had lunch with my friend today and was telling her that i had managed to get a week in the summer hols for me and ds at a caravan.
She asked how big it was (3 bed) and straight away launched into how it was too big for just the two of us and that wouldnt it be great if her and her 4dc came with us as we would have the spare room.
Now i know that this point it is not unreasonable, but quick as a flash she said how great it would be for the kids to have a holiday as she couldnt afford to take them.
I stupidly then said ' well it would work out cheaper if we split the cost i suppose and the kids would have fun ect' that was that.
Ive got home and she has sent me a text saying how she is gutted that she has been asked to pay as after all i have already booked and paid and it wouldnt cost me anything as after all there is room to spare, so she doesnt see what difference it will make her not paying, and that i am being very selfish.

Guess i was just a bit gobsmacked, so aibu?? just didnt see it coming to be honest. i suppose it wouldnt cost much more, just the extra bed linin ect.

OP posts:
Andrewofgg · 16/05/2014 18:50

Just tell her no fucking way you free loading cheeky fucker.

And if she does not understand that start being rude to her. Grin

UncleT · 16/05/2014 18:53

Why the hell didn't you just says no in the first place?!

Featherbag · 16/05/2014 18:54

Just when I think I've heard everything! The cheeky bitch! You absolutely cannot let this woman spoil your holiday say whatever you have to but she has to get the message she's not going!

MintyChops · 16/05/2014 18:58

What a cheek! I would reply "I'm very surprised by your text. Given the contents I prefer that my DS and I go alone. Thank you for letting me know your expectations in time for me to make this decision"

now fuck off you grabby bitch

UncleT · 16/05/2014 18:59

Just ask her why she thinks you should pay for her to have a holiday.

gamerchick · 16/05/2014 19:11

Just tell her you've checked the booking and she wouldn't be allowed to go anyway because she's not on it and the cost is calculated on the people sharing - or something.

Caravan holidays are expensive and you know you'll have a tight arse making you feel guilty because she's skint and will have a proper miserable time.

Please don't give in.. you'll have a shit time if you do and that would be horrible if you and your bairn have been looking forward to it and even though it has 3 bedrooms it'll still feel claustrophobic when you're all in there and chaotic in the mornings.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 16/05/2014 19:20

Good grief. That is very cheeky.
Don't try to make an excuse. She will find a way round it.
Be direct. Tell her she can't come. Its not going to work.
Families always argue on holiday. They'll all be in one room and you're going to have to listen to their bickering, her whining about being broke (while sponging off you) and cope with a hormonal teenager. That is NOT a holiday.
You can still be polite if you must Wink but YANBU.
Have a lovely holiday with your ds. How old is he?

TheRealAmandaClarke · 16/05/2014 19:22

That third room is for keeping your cases in.
You'll have such a nice time with your ds.
Oh please say no to her. I will lend you my rudeassertive dh for the task if you're too nice to handle it.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 16/05/2014 19:28
  1. Ditch cheeky cow
  2. Don't lie
MaryWestmacott · 16/05/2014 19:31

I think the earlier text along the lines of "you're right, I didn't think it through properly. Now I have I think it'd be better if we don't do a joint holiday and stick to the original plans" sounds best, don't lie you are making the booking smaller, just tell her on reflection you "don't want to if a joint holiday", any other excuse, a freeloader like this will find a way round, "I don't want to" tends to be the only thing that works, beyond lying that you aren't going, which when they invariably find out you lied, suddenly you are the one in the wrong for lying, not them for putting you in a position where you felt you had to lie.

The truth is you don't want to, so tell her that, don't be afraid of hurting her feelings, I have a policy of not worrying about upsetting people who don't give a shit about upsetting me.

Itsfab · 16/05/2014 19:51

From your OP it was clear she caught you on the hop but you didn't want her to come anyway. Don't give in to her. Such a lot of entitlement and rudeness in the world today. I hate how society seems so dumbed down.

lunar1 · 16/05/2014 20:34

I can't believe there are people like this in the world.

motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 21:29

UPDATE... well i think it is safe to say that this friendship has gone down the proverbial pisser.
Spoke to her on the phone, kept my temper and said that it wasnt a good idea and that i had been saving for ages and been having a rough time , and with everything that had happend, me and husband breaking up ect that i felt like me and ds really needed some quality family time together and wanted to make the most of it as i dont know when the next time when i would be able to give him a holiday was.

She tried telling me that her and 4 kids would be no bother, there was plenty of room, they would be out most of the day anyway so we would have plenty of time to ourselves ect.

At which point im starting to get a bit angry, tbh i have felt a incredible hulk moment building since lunch time , and just said..look, i get what your saying but i want to go on holiday with my son by myself. its important to me that i can do this.

She then said ' oh well i dont know why you are getting so worked up, its only a seaside holiday ffs, and perhaps it is best as my children are more used to going abroad so would think it was a bit of a let down'

Angry At this point i lost it and said oh i see... so not only are you a rude and selfish cow, but you are also going for condesending bitch as well'

Anyway she told me to 'stick the caravan up my fat arse and hung up on me.

i am shacking with anger, but also have the giggles ...am going to go and have a large glass of wine, and carry on planning my apparently scummy caravan holiday Shock

OP posts:
UncleT · 16/05/2014 21:32

Stick your car... what?? Really??

erin99 · 16/05/2014 21:37

Utter looper. I just can't see how she can even kid herself that YOU are being unfair/selfish.

Have a fab holiday!

mumontheroad · 16/05/2014 21:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pictish · 16/05/2014 21:39

Gosh. Shock
Grin

TheHouseatWhoCorner · 16/05/2014 21:41

Don't forget to send her a postcard, preferably one of those ones showing a donkey on a beach.
Silly cow.

Itsfab · 16/05/2014 21:41

WELL DONE YOU!!!! She needed telling and she made it really easy for you. Enjoy your lovely holiday. My kids have never been abroad but they still talk about a holiday we had in a caravan and another in a glorified tepee.

TheRealAmandaClarke · 16/05/2014 21:41

Bloody hell. Well done.
How rude!

You are going to have the best time. And by the sea. The absolute most best place to be.

MaryWestmacott · 16/05/2014 21:43

wow, she doesn't like not getting her own way does she?!! So at least you know she's not your friend.

Have a fantastic holiday and ignore the grabby cowbag.

HazleNutt · 16/05/2014 21:44

Oh so this shabby cheap holiday is not really up to her standards anyway? That cheap holiday she can't allegedly afford?

MintyChops · 16/05/2014 21:45

Jesus, what a loon! Well done you and have a lovely time with your DS. She really is beyond horrible.

BakerStreetSaxRift · 16/05/2014 21:45

Well she's shown her true colours.

Well done for sticking up for yourself, I hope you and your DS have a lovely relaxing holiday.

Bloodyteenagers · 16/05/2014 21:46

What an utter bitch.
We have had holidays in caravans and abroad. The dc's always talk about the caravans with very fond memories, more than going abroad.
Enjoy your wine. Enjoy your holiday.