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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think this is a bit wtf ??

179 replies

motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:02

Have had lunch with my friend today and was telling her that i had managed to get a week in the summer hols for me and ds at a caravan.
She asked how big it was (3 bed) and straight away launched into how it was too big for just the two of us and that wouldnt it be great if her and her 4dc came with us as we would have the spare room.
Now i know that this point it is not unreasonable, but quick as a flash she said how great it would be for the kids to have a holiday as she couldnt afford to take them.
I stupidly then said ' well it would work out cheaper if we split the cost i suppose and the kids would have fun ect' that was that.
Ive got home and she has sent me a text saying how she is gutted that she has been asked to pay as after all i have already booked and paid and it wouldnt cost me anything as after all there is room to spare, so she doesnt see what difference it will make her not paying, and that i am being very selfish.

Guess i was just a bit gobsmacked, so aibu?? just didnt see it coming to be honest. i suppose it wouldnt cost much more, just the extra bed linin ect.

OP posts:
FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 16/05/2014 14:16

Ha ha ha. YANBU.

You got off lightly though. She was going to get you to pay for her DCs new school kit, "you know, when you buy multipack it is cheaper and you are buying one already...".

Wait a minute, you already pay council tax and utilities, why not them moving in with you?

YussMinister · 16/05/2014 14:18

Do you mean her and 4 kids or does 4dc mean her 4 year old? (Optimistic)
Please just say no entirely. Don't let her freeload and ruin your holiday.

expatinscotland · 16/05/2014 14:19

No, no, no! Friends do NOT do this to friends. Ever. There is no space. You TELL her, 'No. This doesn't work for us. We are going on this holiday alone.'

RaptorInaPorkPieHat · 16/05/2014 14:19

What a cheeky fucker!

And think about it...... you'd end up in the smallest bedroom (possibly a fold out sofa bed)

Ditch the bitch and have a great holiday without her.

Charlieandlotta · 16/05/2014 14:21

Ltb

Original poster
motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:21

thanks for the replies, i guess i was just so shocked that i started to second guess myself that i had been out of order thinking she would half up the cost.
Thing is its not just the half of the caravan, its the day trips ect that i have planned with my ds for when we are away and would feel so guilty about saying oh we are of to ###theme park for the day and her kids wanting to come i know i would end up taking them all as well.
It happend a while ago when we went on a trip that i had changed my tesco vouchers for, she said she wanted to come, i said i had a fewvouchers left and if she changed hers we could scrape most of the cost together but she said she couldnt use all of hers as she wanted a new telly??
tbh i am a bit brassick myself and have been saving for ages to afford it and will be the first time me and ds have been away just us two since me and his dad split up.
i know its hard being on your own, but im struggling too

OP posts:
Impatientismymiddlename · 16/05/2014 14:23

She's a freeloader, you need to ditch her.

Nanny0gg · 16/05/2014 14:23

Please tell me you're going to stop this - for every reason given above. Although calling you 'selfish' would have finished it (and the friendship) for me.

I hate the way some people manipulate and then the 'victims' can't say no.

She will ruin it for you.

And does your DS even like her DC?

She is a user.

expatinscotland · 16/05/2014 14:24

Oh, fuck her! She's a user and always will be. Don't allow her to do this anymore!

'Have thought this over. This is special for me and DS, we have a lot planned. We are going alone.'

QueenofallIsee · 16/05/2014 14:24

This caused me to actually laugh out loud. Not at you OP, at the staggering attitude! So bad mannered that it is actually funny. I am surprised that you have to ask if you are being unreasonable, of course you are not. The only unreasonable element would be your agreement to this preposterous suggestion

DidoTheDodo · 16/05/2014 14:24

You're doing fine OP. Enjoy your holiday and the peace and quiet!

Original poster
motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:24

no, she has 4 kids ranging from 3 to 14

OP posts:
Goldmandra · 16/05/2014 14:25

Do what meditrina says

How about a reply along the lines of "You're right. I didn't think this through, and I think it would be better if we don't share this particular holiday. Do you have any ideas for other things the children could do together?"

QueenofallIsee · 16/05/2014 14:26

OH MY FUCKING GOD, just read your update about the Tesco vouchers!

Grow a pair OP and ditch this women - she is god awful

Charlieandlotta · 16/05/2014 14:26

Oh and you are absolutely not bu!!! Stand up for yourself and don't go on holiday with her. Your ds will have a much nicer time without your cheeky 'friend' and her offspring.

Original poster
motherofmonster · 16/05/2014 14:27

ok, thank you everyone. You know when you are just so staggered that you start to think perhaps its you thats mental??
Think will tell her that we downsized as we got a chance of a class upgrade ect

OP posts:
StealthPolarBear · 16/05/2014 14:28

Thw 14 year old is, from a caravan poibt of view an adult.
or do it. Theb when she biys her new tv make sure you stroll in whenever you want and change the channel to whatevet uou want to watch

expatinscotland · 16/05/2014 14:28

Whatever you need to do to tell her she is not going. Mid stance yourself from this cheeky cow. She's not a friend.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent · 16/05/2014 14:28

Seriously, learn to say no.

Use no as your default answer. If the idea is good (the one in your OP is dire please do not do this), you can always come back later and say: " I have thought about it, and yes."

This will save you £££ and embarrassment.

If it helps, think of your savings as not your money but the children's money, and therefore you are not at liberty to share it on their behalf.

Owllady · 16/05/2014 14:29

I'd say actually you are glad she has texted as you have realised they won't all fit in and you were rather alone
Please don't let her take advantage of you like thus

sezamcgregor · 16/05/2014 14:30

I wouldn't lie - she needs to know it's not acceptable to assume you'll pay for her to have a holiday.

Cool down first. Then tell her, she can't ask to come on your holiday and then assume you'll not ask her for a contribution.

Have a great time with DS!!

Writerwannabe83 · 16/05/2014 14:31

OMFG - do people like this really exist??!
Cheeky mare!!

I'd retract your invitation!!

Can't think of anything worse anyway than sharing a caravan with someone else's 4 children!!

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 16/05/2014 14:50

Cant afford a holiday, boo fucking hoo.

I cant afford a holiday, so I just accept I wont have one.

Cheeky Cah.

Littlepinkpear · 16/05/2014 14:57

Yanbu, tell her to do one! Unless she's picking up the bill for everything else Wink

pictish · 16/05/2014 14:58

Tell her (pleasantly) that you have reconsidered, and have decided to go it alone, as per original plan.
No way would I be agreeing to someone with four children gategrashing my holiday and taking over the accomodation, for free! I wouldn't have them if they paid!!

She's got a brass neck. Shock

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