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Original poster

To not let him back in the house!

156 replies

nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 08:55

My husband has gone away for a week, he has taken his bank card and his tablet (our way of transferring money) and has left the kids and I with NOT A PENNY to buy food or nappies or anything.

Who does something like that?

The earliest I am going to be able to speak to him is at 7pm tonight and that is only if he answers his messages (which he conveniently hasn't all morning)

I am SO angry with him!

OP posts:
Forgettable · 12/05/2014 09:31

Phew that today's crisis has been averted

UncleT · 12/05/2014 09:38

Am I missing something with the 'borrow someone's computer' type posts? What are we posting here from? If it's a phone even, it should be capable of online banking too.

steff13 · 12/05/2014 09:43

Am I missing something with the 'borrow someone's computer' type posts? What are we posting here from? If it's a phone even, it should be capable of online banking too.

I don't get that, either. Why can't you just transfer the money on your phone? The tablet certainly isn't the only device that can access the online banking site, is it?

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 09:43

Yes it is capable of Online banking but you need the little login-pin thingy to do that and I don't have it.

The only places you can log in without that is on the tablet.

I will make sure it doesn't happen again, I'll put the fear of god into him!

OP posts:
steff13 · 12/05/2014 09:45

So you just don't know the PIN? That would make me mad. Can't he just tell you what it is so you know for next time?

PancakesAndMapleSyrup · 12/05/2014 09:53

Its not that she dosent know the pin, its a seperate piece of plastic that the bank give, bit like a calculator which spits you a new number everytime you do online banking. You need it in order to get into ur account.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 09:57

exactly pancakes

OP posts:
steff13 · 12/05/2014 10:02

Oh, like a VPN token? That seems kind of inconvenient. Perhaps that should be left somewhere in the house where you can both access it.

Regardless, I'm glad he's transferred the money.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 10:04

It usually is but in a messy house filled with young children it often gets 'put somewhere safe' and this time that was his bag.

OP posts:
Impatientismymiddlename · 12/05/2014 10:04

He left with the bank card and tablet and then as soon as you contacted him he realised he had messed up and transferred the money?

If that's correct then it just sounds like a simple oversight that he corrected as soon as you alerted him.
Does anybody else ever just grab things and go when in a hurry to get somewhere? I know that I do all the time.
Did you remind him to leave some money / make a transfer before he went?
I don't think your DH left you penniless on purpose, it sounds like he just grabbed his stuff and went so you would be unreasonable to accidentally lock him out of the house when he returns.
It would be more reasonable to ensure that you discuss the matter with him and agree how it will be avoided in future and it might also be a good idea to not have no nappies or food in the house.

Oldraver · 12/05/2014 10:05

steff it isnt a matter of knowing the PIN..you have a little device that changes the number each time you use it..PITA things

grocklebox · 12/05/2014 10:08

To be fair, its your fault as much as his, since you have such a chaotic approach to money.

Take some time to sort it out properly, because grown women with dependent children need to have a much better handle on their finances.

LiberalLibertine · 12/05/2014 10:08

It seems a bit close to the wire to not have anything in the house for the kids or you, including nappies and food?! To last one day.

youmakemydreams · 12/05/2014 10:13

Nomorequotes I don't know if your dh is an arse or not but I am the person in our house that is on the ball professionally and complete chaos day to day. It's not intentional and I don't leave anyone without food or money.
I am not one of lifes naturally organised people and it frustrates the hell out of me so I can only imagine super organised anally retentive dp is a saint to put up with me.
I am improving by setting constant reminders on my phone and alarms to go off in plenty of time for me to sort myself out but I do screw up sometimes. Especially when I have something specific on my mind like a trip away.

RiverTam · 12/05/2014 10:14

I actually think this is six of one and half a dozen of the other - neither of you took responsibility to ensure that you had enough money to last him being away. His priority is work, yours the children, so actually I would think that it's more your responsibility to make sure you weren't left short - presumably this trip didn't come out of the blue so you (plural, but more your OP) should have made sure that the money was in the right account.

Though to be honest I can't really make head nor tail on how your finances are arranged, they sound all over the place.

kippersmum · 12/05/2014 10:16

Why not do telephone banking??? Then you don't need the login thing.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 10:17

the money came in this morning, I wouldn't have had time to transfer it.

The finances are hardly all over the place, money comes in to one of the two accounts and we spend it from both. Thats all there is to it really.

I can't do telephone banking on his behalf.

OP posts:
ForTheLoveOfSocks · 12/05/2014 10:19

Why not open a joint account, then you both have a card each?

RiverTam · 12/05/2014 10:22

you don't have a joint account

you can't do telephone banking

you don't know the pin number

you are now stuck without any money

nice and straightforward, then Hmm.

Chalk it up to experience but get your finances sorted out so that this can't happen again. Joint account is the way forward.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 10:31

We can't get a joint account at the moment, its not as easy as you think!

when we are in a better position financially we definitely will but at the moment it is better to have two accounts, if for no other reason than we can transfer some money into the other and it won't be 'eaten' by bills.

OP posts:
Viviennemary · 12/05/2014 10:32

If this is merely a lapse of memory then it's annoying but not the end of the world as a one off. Have you not got a bank card so you can withdraw cash? Make sure this mad situation doesn't arise again by making arrangement so you do have access to cash.

Nanny0gg · 12/05/2014 10:36

There should be a DD to the other account and you keep the card (and PIN) - until you can get a proper joint account set up.

Crazy.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 10:40

That wouldn't work either, it depends on how much money we have, can you set up a DD for every single week?

I can't believe we are the only people who have two accounts that we use both of for various things.

I thought it was common.

OP posts:
grocklebox · 12/05/2014 10:40

Its not really all there is to it. If you can transfer on a tablet, you can set up your phone properly. You can get your own card as ah additional holder. You can have basic provisions in that last more than a day.
Seriously, its chaotic. Sort it out, and dont lock him out of his own house.

Original poster
nomorequotes · 12/05/2014 10:44

My phone was dipped in a puddle and is no longer. If I had my phone I would already be able to make the transfer because the money is on there.

He goes away very rarely which is a plus I suppose!

OP posts: