i told SIL that she was in the worng

[itsnotmereally]

Namechanged because I know people on this in real-life.

SIL (DHs sister) is going on holiday her and her DH and their DCs who are in secondary school.
She is going on holiday this week during school time. It has been booked for months. We have discussed it before and everyone warned her that they probably wouldn't authorise the absence.She just shrugged us off saying they would and she won't have to pay the fine.
I saw her today and she was very pleased with herself. The absence had been authorised because she told them that her mother had cancer and they had to see her.
She even told her DCs to act extra sad and maybe mention it to their teachers.

I said that was an awful thing to lie about and encouraging her DCs to do it was even worse.
She sighed and looked at me like I was an idiot ,and said I don't understand. I think she was unreasonable.

Tell MIL she has a crowd here cheering her on :)

SIL rang MIL this morning to tell that she is destroying their holiday and her DCs will hate us all.
MIL was so upset but she has stuck to her plan and she went into the school and told a deputy head teacher who she knows. They are going to tell the head and get the goveners involved.
Apparently they were already suspicious as on the Friday the youngest DC was telling all her friends she wouldn't be in school with a massive smile on her face and braging about a beach she was going to film videos on.

MIL feels really guilty because she feels she has wreaked her GCs reputation at the school but she didn't think that she had another option.

No, SIL has wrecked her own reputation by acting, at best, foolishly. MIL has taught the gc a valuable lesson about lying. Wrecking a holiday that shouldn't have been booked in the first place...the gc might be cross now, but looking back they'll know their granny was right and their mum wasn't.

SIL rang MIL this morning to tell that she is destroying their holiday and her DCs will hate us all.

She's nuts. She IS nuts, right? This isn't regular behaviour, is it? I'm finding all of this very bizarre.

Your MIL has nothing to feel guilty about. I really feel for the poor kids being dragged into this. Any sensible adult will feel the same.

She's off her fucking trolley your SIL.

It's not the DCs' fault they have a lying mother, I'm sure the school will appreciate that

They'd clearly have found out anyway - this has just speeded it up. SIL is beyond hope as any normal person would be mortified at their crass plan being found out rather than blaming others for their own stupidity. Deranged. Plus, how is it destroying the holiday? They'll have to pay the fine like everyone else doing this.

Has your SIL always been this self-centred?

It was an idiotic plan that was bound to fail miserably.
But she will blame everyone else.

This woman is unbelievable. Tell your MIL that her GCs will have no damaged reputation, in fact quite the opposite - they have shown their integrity by not lying, but being honest with their classmates. MIL has stood by their side.

This will cause fallout, probably between DB and SIL, but perhaps it was just a matter of time - I'm sure this hasn't been the only dodgy thing going on. What's behind the 'filming videos' story - where has that come from?

What a bizarre tale! Your SIL is utterly outrageous.

Why do they need to get the governors involved?

Surely all the school needs to do is mark the holiday as unauthorised absence and follow their usual procedure.

Outrageous as this tale is, I very much doubt it is the first time a school has busted someone's lies over absence. In fact there is a thread about it elsewhere on MN, called something like 'make sure your children don't tell the truth' or something. About ways in which unauthorised absences are exposed by the kids.

Vile behaviour.

One thing I don't get is if your MIL lives so near the school why did the children need a week off because "they had to see her"?

Yes I didn't get that part.

What a horrible situation for the dc.

Poor mil. She hasn't done anything wrong.
This is all sil's fault though ofcourse she will make out it is mil's fault and make her feel guilty...

I don't know why she choose to use MIL as part of the lie when MIL lives so close to her. I wonder if she just thought that the teachers would be sad and wouldn't question it, or she could have mention a special hospital or place that they were going to for MIL. SIL didn't say and I didn't think to ask at the time.

SIL likes to get her own way and she can be quite demanding. I do think MIL gives into her a bit for a quiet life but SIL has taken it too far this time.

Blu

I imagine they want to get the Governors involved because I doubt that any of them thought this would happen, that a parent would go so far that they fake their own mother having cancer...

I imagine that they want to review their guidelines to include asking for evidence or potentially take it forward to the LA or even put a statement out to parents and want the support of their Governing Body.
I imagine they want to ensure that no other children are asked to lie about their Gran having cancer to get a holiday authorised and imagine the poor child who has just lost a family member to cancer that they have to think of too... I imagine they want to prevent this happening again

I am a Governor and whilst I very much don't get involved in 'day to day' I think I would want this to come to us for the above reasons

itsnotmereally - I've been following this and I'm really sorry your families being put through this shit through one persons selfishness. Hope your DH & MIL are okay. Hopefully when SIL calms down, she might see sense. I hope she does, however I have the feeling she might not.

Probably already been mentioned, but how horrible to teach your children to lie and make them tell a lie that they would have to keep embroidering on for months.

Unfortunately this will come back to haunch her in bringing up children who see no problem in lying.

If only for the sake of the children, your MIL did the right thing.

I'm totally fine with extremely rare mid term holidays but its not right to make up huge lies. How awful got your MIL. Was she supposed to pretend to have chemo for the next 3 months and lose her hair? Bonkers.

I don't think GC reputation will be ruined but it will be a good lesson about lying.

MIL needs to tell SIL that SIL is responsible if permission is withdrawn. MIL is not the one who lied. MIL shouldn't have to spend the next few months pretending she has cancer.

Dayshift: God forbid that this should result calls for proof that a member of the family is genuinely suffering from cancer - I think that would be very distressing, not to say intrusive. Imagine - a distraught woman needs to take the children away on a cancer-related few days, and is asked for what? Her mother's chemo schedule? A copy of her mother's appointment letters?

Poor MIL - nobody deserves this sort of stress. What an inconsiderate, selfish idiot. She should be thoroughly ashamed of herself (the SIL). If MIL has any doubts, please show her this thread. MIL - you rule!

ye gods your SIL is a top class example of the most me-centred sort of person. what vile behaviour - the original plan was bad enough, her reaction to you and MILs disgust is just gobsmackingly awful!

how did she ever think she would get away with it - is she a bit dim?

Is your SIL on glue? Why oh why would she think that using this as an excuse was acceptable?