i told SIL that she was in the worng

[itsnotmereally]

Namechanged because I know people on this in real-life.

SIL (DHs sister) is going on holiday her and her DH and their DCs who are in secondary school.
She is going on holiday this week during school time. It has been booked for months. We have discussed it before and everyone warned her that they probably wouldn't authorise the absence.She just shrugged us off saying they would and she won't have to pay the fine.
I saw her today and she was very pleased with herself. The absence had been authorised because she told them that her mother had cancer and they had to see her.
She even told her DCs to act extra sad and maybe mention it to their teachers.

I said that was an awful thing to lie about and encouraging her DCs to do it was even worse.
She sighed and looked at me like I was an idiot ,and said I don't understand. I think she was unreasonable.

We are having the funeral of my MIL this week, who has just died of cancer. I feel absolutely repulsed by this woman's lie. It is a huge lie, a huge mistake and really shows what kind of person she is in my opinion. Horrendous. I doubt her MIL will want to forgive her, whether she says so or not, imagine if that was you being used in such a despicable way.

Sorry, her own mum, my mistake. Wonder how she will take her own daughter doing that.

She's painting the devil on the wall, is a saying from my dp's country.

Basically, she's cursed herself now.

She's bvvvvu.

We too are holding the funeral of my MIL this week following her death from cancer. Your SIL's lie here is totally unforgivable.

Shop her to the school, and sod the consequences.

Your SIL is on glue.

What a disgusting and unimaginative lie.

YANBU.

She has nerves of brass, I'd never do that, callous, using the emotions of others to manipulate, and not least tempting fate.

Vile.

omg that is so nasty

No, everyone doesn't do this because it's an awful lie to tell and would make anyone with a conscience feel deeply uncomfortable.

However, from what you've said, the truth will come out sooner or later. Given the situation it's a stupid lie to tell. And if I were the MIL I would refuse to go along with it for starters.

Like many other women I really have had cancer, I lost both breasts at 26.
She's not even fit to breath the sane air as me and all the other people affected by cancer.

That is an awful thing to lie about and she is being VU, and also rather stupid as MIL knows teachers at the school and needs to be in on the lie. I can't imagine how MIL is going to feel!

However,

1. The lie is not carcinogenic. Neither MIL or anyone else will get cancer as a result of her stupidity. She is not 'cursed'.

2. The lie has nothing to do with anyone else who actually has cancer and was in no way intended to offend anyone with cancer, or whose loved one died of cancer. A close relative of mine recently died of cancer, but it's in no way personally offensive to me that she is lying about her MIL.

3. Don't shop her to the school. She's an idiot but most likely the lie will out anyway. And MIL is unlikely to be impressed with her 'diagnosis'.

I feel sorry for her DC and for MIL!

" She is not 'cursed'"
she might be though

Someone she loves may well get cancer someday. It will be unrelated to her lying. She is cursed with stupidity and a lack of empathy and ethics.

something like that yes

That is absolutely awful.

And poor MIL-is it possible that she will feel she has to go along with the lie?

How long before word gets out & someone asks her how she's feeling or thinks that she's looking remarkably well considering...

OP are the teachers likely to say anything to you along the lines of "sorry to hear about your MIL"?

If so that's a perfect chance to dob SIL in.

I'd be straight on the phone to the school tbh, disgusting behaviour, what a horrible person she sounds, I would DEFINITELY make sure she gets her comeuppance

"I'd be straight on the phone to the school tbh,"

I'd be very tempted.

It's not possible that she's lying to you for some reason os it?

What an ignorant woman. She has put her own mother and children in an awful position of having to lie. She obviously has no idea of the trauma cancer causes. Let's hope that she never does has to find out as I would not wish it on my worst enemy.

Disgusting. Hope she gets found out

That's horrible! What an awful example to set for her children. Disgusting.

If she thinks this is fine, is there a chance her DM would back her up? After all, she raised her.

If her mother won't pull her up on it, only the children are likely to hold sway. Mean as it would be to spoil the DCs' holiday, I'd be unhappy if my DNs were being brought up without the empathy to think such disgusting lies were wrong. Secondary school is old enough to know better, and know restraint.

The teachers will find out. Children talk to their friends and teachers overhear. I was told by DS's teacher that they always know when "x" wasn't poorly for the first day of term but was still in Majorca.

What an awful lie; especially over something so petty as a term time holiday. Much less awful to say DCs had chicken pox or something. I'm not saying that I'd endorse the second lie but at least it isn't an ongoing thing and doesn't involve anyone outside the immediate family.

Absolutely despicable, not least because of the absolutely terrible example she's setting. What a vile thing to do.