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AIBU?

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Original poster

i told SIL that she was in the worng

154 replies

itsnotmereally · 11/05/2014 19:02

Namechanged because I know people on this in real-life.

SIL (DHs sister) is going on holiday her and her DH and their DCs who are in secondary school.
She is going on holiday this week during school time. It has been booked for months. We have discussed it before and everyone warned her that they probably wouldn't authorise the absence.She just shrugged us off saying they would and she won't have to pay the fine.
I saw her today and she was very pleased with herself. The absence had been authorised because she told them that her mother had cancer and they had to see her.
She even told her DCs to act extra sad and maybe mention it to their teachers.

I said that was an awful thing to lie about and encouraging her DCs to do it was even worse.
She sighed and looked at me like I was an idiot ,and said I don't understand. I think she was unreasonable.

OP posts:
yummymumtobe · 11/05/2014 20:01

Wonder if they are going somewhere sunny as won't it be a tad obvious if the kids turn up at school all tanned?!

There is no way she will get away with it I imagine as the kids will tell their friends who will tell their mums who may in turn tell someone in the school. If she wasnt bothered about the fine then why did she lie in the first place?

Original poster
itsnotmereally · 11/05/2014 20:01

They aren't going abroad, they are going to a holiday park about 3 hours away on the Welsh coast.

OP posts:
Trillions · 11/05/2014 20:02

How does the grandmother having cancer necessitate a week off school if the grandmother lives in the same town and the school knows this?

Icimoi · 11/05/2014 20:04

So she's just assuming your MIL will go along with the lie, and tell all sorts of stories about her cancer treatment if she meets someone from the school? I hope MIL will tell her to get lost.

Original poster
itsnotmereally · 11/05/2014 20:05

I think she probably was bothered about having to pay the fine as I think she would have had to pay for both DCs. So she made up the lie to make sure the absence would be authorised.

OP posts:
NoArmaniNoPunani · 11/05/2014 20:05

Does the grandmother live on the welsh coast then? I don't see how the lie stands up to scrutiny

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 11/05/2014 20:05

Hang on - her mother with cancer lives near some of the teachers?!? Is she expecting your MIL to lie too when some kind soul asks how the treatment is going? And won't the teachers notice when the kids come back with a nice tan while poor dying granny is still at home looking surprisingly spry for someone undergoing chemo.

I can't decide if she's sick or just thick!

It's a horrible lie though.

Only1scoop · 11/05/2014 20:12

She's telling her mil tmrw....

No Shockunless they have the same awful lying flaw then surely your mil would be so hurt and horrified.

Her husband must have same morals and be in on it. What does your Dh think about his brother.

Your sil is sick and outrageous

liquidstatehasrisenagain · 11/05/2014 20:12

I can't decide if she's sick or just thick!

This.

Blu · 11/05/2014 20:14

OMG - that is pathological - to expect MIL to pretend to have cancer!
No-one would agree to that unless they were disturbed.
She can't ask MIL to betray the trust of their friends as part of her web of deceit.

Leave it to your DH to sort out though.

JonesRipley · 11/05/2014 20:15

she's a bit stupid, isn't she?

Getting her MIL and children involved in a stupid, cruel lie that she can easily be caught out on. I think it's really wrong to get your children to lie.

CeliaFate · 11/05/2014 20:25

If someone told this lie about me, or anyone else I knew, I would be so outraged I'd tell the school it was a lie and let her face the consequences of her utterly shitty behaviour.
It actually makes me feel sick that this idiot is teaching her kids to do this.

MaryWestmacott · 11/05/2014 20:26

How long is MIL supposed to keep this up for? The HT might have authorised the absence, but what about when they start talking to the teachers who know MIL?

Poor MIL.

And this is going to go very very badly...

HauntedNoddyCar · 11/05/2014 20:27

So MIL lives in the area and knows school staff? And SIL doesn't think anyone will realise?

How strange.

EllaFitzgerald · 11/05/2014 20:31

Leaving aside what a disgusting thing that is to lie about, your SIL hasn't thought this through, has she? Do you think you MIL will go along with it?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/05/2014 20:35

I am bloody tempted to say that if the OP tells me her SIL's name and the school her kids attend, I'll tell them she's lying, because I think it's such a vile lie.

StillStayingClassySanDiego · 11/05/2014 20:38

She's a tool, how does she expect MiL to react when told that others now think she has cancer?

Does she really think MiL will go along with this lie?

What a stupid arse SiL is!

Tool!

WhereYouLeftIt · 11/05/2014 21:06

"MIL lives knows some of the teachers at the school because she used to run coffee mornings and stuff there and she sometimes bumps into them in town."
So, she's almost bound to run into one of them sometime soonish? And they're going to ask how her treatment is going etc? In fact, since she ran coffee mornings there, they might even be planning to send flowers.

Your SIL hasn't really grasped the idea that the point of a lie is for the truth to be unknown, has she? She is going to be found out, and pretty soon I reckon.

And as for putting her mother in this position, where she has to continue the lie or tell a sympathetic teacher that her daughter has lied ... words fail me.

DizzyKipper · 11/05/2014 22:19

am I just naive and everyone says things like that to have an authorised absence.

Umm no, everyone doesn't say things like that to get authorised absences. Or at least I'm pretty sure they don't. I'm finding it hard to believe that even your SIL has because I just find it so hard to believe that anyone could be that horrible (which is not to say I think you're lying, it's just quite a big thing and quite hard to take in).
My dad was terminal, he died. Your SIL is very lucky not to have gone through anything like this, she would never even think of making up a lie like this if she had.
Just phone it in. It isn't fair to the kids. It's not fair to MIL. Frankly it's pretty stupid as lies go, and let's be fair - she more than deserves to lose the holiday and/or face the fine.

elliejjtiny · 11/05/2014 22:32

That's horrible. If I were you I'd be so tempted to tell the school.

Original poster
itsnotmereally · 11/05/2014 22:34

My dad died of cancer and suppose I thought that I could possibly be overreacting because of that.
I hope MIL won't go along with it. I don't think she would but I am worried SIL May convince her it's for the children.

OP posts:
MammaTJ · 11/05/2014 22:43

Awful thing to say. I am very supersticious around things like this. I would never lie about anyone being ill, because I think it will make them ill in the future.

paddyclampo · 11/05/2014 22:47

What a stupid cow?! Does the MIL live in the same town as the school? Surely they're not going to expect the poor woman to pretend she has cancer??!? The kids are bound to tell someone they've been to Wales so unless the Grandma actually does live in Wales this is going to go very badly tits up!

RedSoloCup · 11/05/2014 22:51

That's terrible and I would be shocked and upset if this was my SIL, I don't like the new policy but I just told my OH we aren't taking them out in term time now full stop and we'd have to find extra money for hols or not go at all, I won't lie about anything or ever make the kids lie :(, my FIL recently died after a long battle with non-hodgekins lymphoma and she should be ashamed of herself :(.

Original poster
itsnotmereally · 11/05/2014 22:58

SIL lives in the same town as the school, MIL live in the same more rural area as us however most of the teenagers here go to that school.

MIL doesn't talk to the teachers often as she isn't great friends with them but if she goes to town on the weekend she sometimes bumps into them.

We live in Wales (not near the coast though)

DH is VERY upset with SIL for using their mum in such an awful lie.

OP posts:
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