DH just 'cleaned' the kitchen

[nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes]

Fills the sink with washing up liquid, puts everything that wouldn't go in the dishwasher straight in there (dirty). This is a pet hate of mine. Means that from the off, everything is being washed in dirty water. So I offered to take over, partly because I'm rankled but also coz his washing up skills are somewhat lacking. Then - he dunks the cloth in the dirty water to clean the kitchen table.

Then when I said that cloth wasn't clean, he got the hump.

AIBU? We've got a 2yo and I'm pg. Hygiene is important to me. Should I have given him the medal he seems to think he deserves?

Strawberry, I think these women play the martyr or like to think those dippy menfolk couldn't possibly cope without them. The friends I have who behave like this are quite insecure in their relationships - the worst one actually cuts her husbands toenails! Grim, I've never been that keen on anyone.

Luckily I married a normal, fully functioning adult who trims his own nails

There was a thread on here the other day talking about how some people (both sexes) had never learned to clean ...
It is a generational thing (hopefully getting better now?) but men are more likely never to have been shown or told how to clean...
My DP not only male but also grew up surrounded by filth (dog shit in the house so long it has dried up level of filth) - amazing what to me is common sense/obvious just completely bypasses him (and it isn't all deliberate)

I wash up like your DH, although I do rinse the soapy water off the dishes after. I can't see that the water is dirty and contaminating the dishcloth that you're wiping the table with. Firstly the 'dirt' is just food that you've just been eating, so it is not laden with germs. Secondly, surely if there are solid bits of food or grease being left on the table after wiping your DH would notice and rewipe. If not, then job done, the cloth does not have to be sterile to clean the dining table after a meal. My DH sometimes just rinses his wine glass or coffee cup with cold water and his fingers. Now that does bug me!

Lol isn't this the way that dishes were washed for aeons before dishwashers arrived on the scene?

Reading OPs like this I wonder how the human race has lasted all this time

Ironically I clean and iron to a much higher standard than my wife but it would be poor form (and suicide) to get cross with her for not meeting my ideals of cleanliness!

Just let him get on with it. At least he's having a go, which is more than most blokes. Not that he needs a medal but just to be left alone.

I have never in my life cleaned the sides and table with the same sponge/cloth I've used to wash dishes with. I always assumed everyone used seperate. And wouldn't there be food residue if he's dunking it back in the water he's just done the dishes in?

But I accept we all do it our different ways and I wouldn't have a go at someone who was trying and if it was done to an okay standard.

Dishes, sides, table. A cloth is a cloth and a spongy thing is a spongy thing, they are multifunctional items.

Only ones used for cleaning the loo have special status (normally that of being too tatty to do anything else before meeting the bin).

What is on the table or the side that necessitates cleaning them? Food residue, I expect.

Wiping tables and surfaces with a dirty dishcloth is totally not on. It's bloody minging, in fact.

Actually, on the subject of washing up, what the hell is with people not rinsing the soapy water off after dishes, cups and glasses? Do some people actually like the taste of washing up liquid or something? That drives me nuts.

After washing*

I'm also that some people wash up under running water, is it possible to be anymore wasteful?

YANBU, that's gross. Tell him to lift his game. Stuff gets rinsed, stuff gets washed and then it gets rinsed again. It's not hard.
Oh and btw he isn't doing you any favours by washing up he is contributing to the general duties involved in maintaining a household.

And using the same cloth to wash dishes and wipe benches gives food health and safety workers conniptions. My kids dump all manner of stuff on the kitchen table, no way would I use the cloth that I wipe it down with to clean our food items.

The only people who have to be shown how to wash up in this household are children. I expect dh and I do things differently, but it's not something that I've ever spent much time analysing. If he hovered over me and told me I was doing it all wrong I would be mightily pissed off, and if he attempted some patronising twaddly line about how I am so wonderful for doing a basic routine household task that has to be done repeatedly followed by some weird step by step demonstration I 'd think he had gone completely doolally.

Step away from the sink OP!

YANBU it is gross.
This is my way, scrape off all food into bin, fill up sink with hot water and rub everything down to get saucy bits off etc.
Take it all out, pour water away, run another sink with washing up liquid give everything a scrub and rinse under a slow running tap.
Last bit is ok to skip if water isn't particularly mucky or you use a loaded sponge instead.
You empty the sink and then use a separate dishcloth, rinse in hot water and spray with cleaner and wipe surfaces/table down and then rinse the dishcloth again and squeeze it dry.

Any other way is simply wrong HTH.

I would be pissed off if I was your DH. My Mum used to do this to me when I tried to cook when I was younger. She used to hover over me barking orders. Nothing I ever did was right according to her. I stopped bothering in the end. Now I am a brilliant cook!

I think you need to chill out a bit. Feel glad that he is helping out. No, he might not be doing it right according to you but dishes in the house are washed exactly like that and we are never ill. I didn't realise you had to rinse things pre and post-washing up. Sounds like a terrible waste of water...

If you can't cope with him wiping the table then just do it yourself again to your standard.

It's not just men. DW is allergic to housework. I do most of it, even though I'm employed for 40 hours a week, and she's employed for about 5. I can't relax in a tip of a house, she doesn't mind.

Doesn't everyone use the last of the water to wipe down the table? Cut him some slack, he's trying to help you, be more grateful.

I've been clearing up like that for years and all of mine are fine.

If you don't rinse you get a rainbow slick mark all over your plates and smears on cutlery.
Its not necessarily about hygiene, but who wants to eat off a messy clearly unclean plate?

I don't see it as a waste, I see it as essential to my standards of cleaning.

I'm surprised by the amount of people on here who've suggested he be thanked for helping/OP is lucky in some way that he does something. WTAF? Are we all still under the assumption that housework is for the women folk? And that men are doing us all a massive favour if they so much as look at a Hoover? FFS!

My DP does tons of housework. Not for me. Not to do me a favour. Not to help me out, but because it's a house job and he lives in the house. I'm not lucky that he does stuff. Can you fucking imagine if someone turned around to a man and said how lucky he was that his DW did the washing up? It just wouldn't happen.

And breathe...

Oh and last time DH used dirty dish water to rinse out the counter/table cloth he spread the onion and garlic odour onto the surfaces which transferred onto the sandwiches made for lunch and then had to be thrown away because nobody likes a jam and garlic combo for Sunday tea!

Oh and last time DH used dirty dish water to rinse out the counter/table cloth he spread the onion and garlic odour onto the surfaces which transferred onto the sandwiches made for lunch and then had to be thrown away because nobody likes a jam and garlic combo for Sunday tea!

You make sandwiches directly on the work surfaces? Ever heard of a bread board?

I abhor the notion that I should be grateful for his help. As fobbly says I prefer to think of it as sharing the jobs that need to get done to function as a family.

As I said this is more about logic than anything - putting a wet towel on a cold slab of metal (ie cold radiator) will not dry it. I've mentioned this in passing but he's still baffled by it. Most of the time I then go and hang up his damp towel somewhere where it will dry, without saying anything. I would hardly call myself a nazi but it does make me cross that there is no real thinking going into these tasks, from his side.

mordirig wouldn't need a breadboard if the surface had been wiped with a clean cloth.