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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH just 'cleaned' the kitchen

129 replies

nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes · 11/05/2014 18:38

Fills the sink with washing up liquid, puts everything that wouldn't go in the dishwasher straight in there (dirty). This is a pet hate of mine. Means that from the off, everything is being washed in dirty water. So I offered to take over, partly because I'm rankled but also coz his washing up skills are somewhat lacking. Then - he dunks the cloth in the dirty water to clean the kitchen table.

Then when I said that cloth wasn't clean, he got the hump.

AIBU? We've got a 2yo and I'm pg. Hygiene is important to me. Should I have given him the medal he seems to think he deserves?

OP posts:

WhoNickedMyName · 11/05/2014 19:19

If you weren't watching him like a hawk you wouldn't know any different.

The dishes would be done and the kitchen table wiped and you wouldn't be able to tell how it was done.

Save your blood pressure and just stop.

CarbeDiem · 11/05/2014 19:21

I mostly clean dishes in the sink with the hot tap running, sponge loaded with washing liquid so I can clean and rinse.
Sometimes I do what your dh done and throw it all in hot water to steep if it needs to after first rinsing the thick of the food off. It gets rinsed when I'm done.
If you're otherwise fit and healthy it really won't kill you.

Agree with others about anti -bac it can do more harm than good imo.

DoctorTwo · 11/05/2014 19:26

I put the fact that my DCs are hardly ever ill down to lax hygeine in the kitchen. They picked up germs when young and gained immunity. Also, they were actively encouraged to get dirty in the garden. I did draw the line at eating worms though...

pebblyshit · 11/05/2014 19:27

Oh. I rinse under the tap at the end, not at the beginning.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 11/05/2014 19:27

Next time walk away for your own sanity - go and do something else while he gets cracking otherwise the break you get isn't much of a break.

onedogatoddlerandababy · 11/05/2014 19:28

I'm also mystified as to how you expect the stuff to be washed up without the water getting dirty

Unless you just mean he doesn't wash in the 'right' order; glass, cutlery, crockery, pots and pans. It was drummed into me as a child . My DP washes up in any order he fancies and while it low level annoys me I don't comment otherwise I'd have to do it

MrsLettuce · 11/05/2014 19:28

There are indeed 1001 ways to wash up - most are passable when it comes down to it.

usuallysuspect · 11/05/2014 19:29

I wash up like your DP.

OiYou · 11/05/2014 19:29

op didn't say anything about anti bac did she?

THink she meant putting a plate covered in mash in to the washing up bowl rather than scraping it reasonably clean before hand.

So the dishes will still be grubby which she shouldn't have to eat form tbf. Op he probably just wants you to take over for him. Put up with it until he realises he will have to eat off dirty dishes. Just wipe your off before you eat form it

HolgerDanske · 11/05/2014 19:30

I do the washing up in a certain way so that the dirtier dishes don't contaminate the water. So, glasses-mugs-plates-cooking utensils-pans. If someone where to plonk all the dirty bits in straight off it would annoy me because there'd be loads of food and grease and bits in the water so the less dirty things would get dirtier from being 'washed'. What's the point in that?

Anyway, I don't think you're being unreasonable, your way is clearly quite logical.

HolgerDanske · 11/05/2014 19:30

Grrr, *were.

Branleuse · 11/05/2014 19:30

I think youre being very OTT

Its a home, not a surgical theatre

rootypig · 11/05/2014 19:31

What is on the plates that can't contaminate everything else
What is on the cloth that is so dangerous for the table

Hot soapy water, rinse, job's a good 'un.

Google the hygiene hypothesis
Actually look here, I've done it for you

CaptainTripps · 11/05/2014 19:31

Ahhh just let him get on with it. I have visions of you hovering anxiously behind him with lips pursed together and a grim look on your face.
Maybe this is time for you to let up a little?

Egghead68 · 11/05/2014 19:31

Let him do it and stop being so controlling.

usuallysuspect · 11/05/2014 19:31

I have no idea how DP washes up. I've never stood and watched him.

Original poster

nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes · 11/05/2014 19:32

Ok so I'm far from OCD when it comes to cleanliness. -if washing up I do do glasses first though

But the table hadn't been wiped today at all after breakfast or lunch. It wasn't dirty as such but grubby so after dinner it was in need of proper clean. The washing up water was dirty - why is it ok to smear that over the place where we all eat every day?

He doesn't wash off the dirty water, just gives it a light tough and plonks it on the draining board.

And just for good measure - he also wonders why towels don't dry on cold/off radiators..

Sometimes the apparent lack of logic just infuriates me.. Not that he doesn't do things my way - but that its just plain incorrect. And yes I would be grateful to my 2yo for "helping" but a grown man? It just feels like pure lack of thought/effort/logic.

I'm grumpy today though so that doesn't help.

OP posts:

onedogatoddlerandababy · 11/05/2014 19:32

People wash up under running water???! Isn't that a colossal waste of water? Never mind the cost of heating all that hot water running down the drain...

I am obviously tight as well as slightly unhygienic!

LeBearPolar · 11/05/2014 19:32

Good grief. Am speechless at so many things on this thread.

Here, we all wash dirty dishes in the sink (because where the fuck else would you wash them?) and frequently dunk the cloth in the washing up bowl to wipe down.

Can't remember the last time any of us had any kind of a tummy bug. But then it's well known that to be too obsessive over hygiene leads to a weaker immune system and that in fact anti-bacterial products do more harm than good in that sense. At least I thought it was well known

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 11/05/2014 19:33

Every restaurant I've ever worked in has washed up like that, then rinsed. Unclench OP, really, life's way too short!

usuallysuspect · 11/05/2014 19:36

I always dunk the cloth in the washing up water to wipe the table.

HolgerDanske · 11/05/2014 19:36

Oh it's not a case of worrying about contamination as such, wrong choice of word, I guess. I just don't want big globs of food and grease in the water right from the beginning. I also change the water several times over the course of one session. Mind you both of those are because I don't bother to rinse the dishes so I guess a lot of people would think that's horribly nasty.

rootypig · 11/05/2014 19:36

Ah well lack of logic, that is entirrrrrely different. YANBU.

DH's lack of logic is fucking mind boggling and I could cheerfully stab him in the leg with a fork for it.

Original poster

nearlyreadyforstatelyhomes · 11/05/2014 19:38

Hovering? No we were both clearing away dinner stuff and I was looking for the cloth so I could wipe down DD's high chair!! And I didn't nag, I offered to do the dishes without mentioning I didn't like his technique, he just got grumpy when I said "are you really going to use that cloth to wipe the table".

We'd had a creamy sauce for dinner. It meant everything got coated in cream. Just irked me. I know it's petty which is why I came to let steam off on here but am quite shocked at those of you saying he should get a pat on the back for helping.

He's not a child who should get 10/10 for effort/joining in FFS. I do things properly so why can't he?

OP posts:

AgentProvocateur · 11/05/2014 19:44

But he is doing it "properly" - most of us on this thread do it the same way. He's just not doing it your way.

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