Are these dirty habits or AIBU?

[PenguinBear]

Some of DP's habits I find quite frankly repulsive and it's caused major rows between us.

Some of things he does which I find disgusting:
-Never washes his hands if he's done a wee
-when he empties his bowels, he'll only rinse his wiping hand with water

-this morning I caught him drinking out of the milk bottle when it's no where near empty (and he has a brown tongue atm so it means no-one else can use it now and it was a 6 Pinter)
-doesn't wash himself everyday

I could go on but these are the main issues that are driving me mad. He thinks IABU and gets very defensive when I confront him.

No that's vile vile vile

Too many fags last night = brown tongue.

Nothing contageous there. Your milk is safe.

Sparkling

and OMG - I'd be out of there, if DH did any of the things you listed OP!

That is gross! YADNBU!!

Jesus! You don't kiss him do you?
He doesn't seem to respect you, else he would have more regard to his hygiene.
What are his redeeming features?

I think I actually threw up in my mouth a little after reading this!!!

He has definitely got more lazy over the past 16 years. He was always very lax with hand washing etc but once we moved in together he did make a real effort to change and I always saw him washing his hands with soap!

Now he doesn't even bother to hide the fact that he doesn't. Often dd3 the bravest will ask him why only one hand is wet when he comes out of the toilet but he tells her he doesn't .

I don't have him near me in that way anymore and we don't share a bed as I can't stand it.

I couldn't be with someone dirty. All the things you listed are dirty, I don't think I'd have stayed with him past one night tbh.

PB jokes and giraffes aside, you seem to have got to the end of your tether with this.

If you don't want him near you and can't share a bed then it really is decision time.

He doesn't smoke at all! He used to smoke cigars when we first met but as soon as we bought a house together he stopped as it was a very expensive habit. We have saved around £3000 a year since he stopped.

So what exactly causes this brown tongue if he doesn't smoke?

Fgs he needs telling I'm sorry OP he sounds like a total tramp

Thats's disgusting, especially the brown tongue- YUK! I would be drumming some hygiene rules into him and fast.

Oh god, he is utterly vile and disgusting. He must stink.
You are most certainly not being unreasonable.

DH says that loads of men don't wash their hands after going to the toilet (he does), he has mostly observed this at work. I'm amazed by this as I can't think of a time that I have seen a woman go to the loo then walk out without washing their hands - it would be embarrassing to do.

I think it is disgusting. YANBU.

Yes DH says the same Sue.

My ex never washed his hands after going to the toilet and I'm led to believe that a lot of men don't.

Can you make plans to separate, I would

Sorry to shriek LTB but, just, yuk

Can't work out HOW to wash just one hand. Unless there is no soap involved whatsoever(!) Does he literally just moisten one hand!?

Is he depressed? Does he not really seem to care about himself?

Apparently there are ways to encourage men to wash their hands.

Why does he not dry the one hand?

When it's LTB or put one of those in your bathroom Fairie, it is bad

Hmm, my DH never washes his hands after the toilet. And I don't think I know many blokes who do...

I do, but mainly out of habit, it's just what you 'do' isn't it?

I'm not sure how big an issue it is to be honest - urine's sterile, isn't it? And I've heard that household surfaces have as much germs on as a toilet seat....not to mention a hand towel which must get germy pretty quickly if everyone's wiping there hands on it. I suspect my hands need washing more after using the telephone, for example.

Brown tongue though - eeeeew.

Is it normal to wash your hands as a man if you have been for a stand-up wee? Surely you can do this in adulthood without touching any urine.

But I agree he should be washing after pooing and washing every day. Not sure how he expects to be sexually attractive to you if he doesn't.

Re the milk bottle, I once got up early when staying at my grandparents house aged about 8. I went to the kitchen and caught my (city lawyer) grandfather standing in NOTHING but a string vest at the fridge, drinking straight out of one of the old glass milk bottles. This image so shocked me that I can bring it to mind til this day. He said to me "everyone drinks out of the milk bottle when no one is looking". And my dh certainly does!