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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Naked man in communal showers. Totally stark bollock naked.

526 replies

tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 21:40

Not an AIBU cos really the title says it all. At massive local pool with group of five girls aged 10/11. Luckily they were showering in different area, I was waiting at lockers for them to come back and get changed. Bloke in the shower, nonchalantly steps out of his trunks and made big show of rinsing them out. I did a double take, then the slow burn whilst my brain tried to process what i was seeing Shock Angry . I nabbed a passing lifeguard and said "look!!!!" He was (after getting dressed) frogmarched out and told if he came back in they'd get police involved. Creep. My group of girls saw nothing but that was more luck than anything. shudders

OP posts:
Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 11/05/2014 14:33

To answer Lebear, yes I would have reported a female for.doing the same thing. It's the Commy pool, I dont really know how more to explain how unusual and yes, shocking, it was! And yes I do get that genitals dont mean sex etc etc, and we should not teach children to be ashamed of their bodies, I GET THAT!! Smile

OP posts:
iseenodust · 11/05/2014 14:35

^^ Agree with Sauce

Our local pool only has communal showers and the norm is everyone showers with swimming gear still on.

iseenodust · 11/05/2014 14:37

^^ Agree with Sauce

Our local pool only has communal showers and the norm is everyone showers with swimming gear still on.

GarlicMayHaveNamechanged · 11/05/2014 14:46

Oof Blush I've fallen foul of this a few times in the past. I used to travel a lot, both outside the UK and within it, and was forever either stripping off when it wasn't expected or not stripping off when it was! It's really hard to reverse - well, I'd say impossible without making an even bigger twerp of yourself. Putting a wet cozzie back on halfway through a shower is not only a highly inelegant contortion, it draws even more attention, and whipping it off risks looking as if you're trying to show off. The only thing to do is pretend you hadn't noticed and make a rapid, towel-wrapped exit!

Personally I think it's a bit nasty to shower with costume still on, but I'd bow to expectations as long as I know what they are Grin

OnlyLovers · 11/05/2014 14:47

cjelh, he wasn't exposing himself to children, he was having a shower. I do find it worrying that this kind of inflammatory language is so often used in discussions about nakedness.

And Statistically, there was no clear sign that naked showering was against the rules.

intheenddotcom · 11/05/2014 15:13

cjdlh - there is no law against someone being naked in the shower (not yet...though if the Tories get their way...). Simply being naked in the presence of children is not illegal.

There is exposure and outraging public decency - both are explained up thread, and neither apply in the case of the OP.

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/05/2014 15:13

Has op confirmed that? There certainly used to be signs

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/05/2014 15:13

Has op confirmed that? There certainly used to be signs

OnlyLovers · 11/05/2014 15:19

Yes: No signs up regarding nudity

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 11/05/2014 15:43

I didnt study all the signs, I dont THINK there were any but really not certain. At all. Blimey.

OP posts:
StatisticallyChallenged · 11/05/2014 15:43

Apologies I missed one post in about 200. It's still totally inappropriate behaviour

Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 11/05/2014 15:52

On phone to Commy now. Waiting to ask. Right, they used to have signs up prior to refurb and they dont now. Manager is going to bring this issue up with whoever neccessary and find out about getting signage back. Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
tardisgirl68 · 11/05/2014 15:55

He did say that it does seem incredible that youd actually need a sign to tell you not to strip off poolside. Common sense for most.

OP posts:
mawbroon · 11/05/2014 15:58

If I remember correctly, the old signs also said "NO SHAVING"

Has anybody ever seen someone shaving in the shower at the pool??

OnlyLovers · 11/05/2014 16:00

Well, arguing that it's 'common sense' isn't really good practice, is it? Almost guaranteed to introduce ambiguity. Sounds like it's the pool management at fault for failing to have signs up.

Statistically, no need to be huffy. You asked. I just answered.

maw, no, never!

GarlicMayHaveNamechanged · 11/05/2014 16:20

Has anybody ever seen someone shaving in the shower at the pool??

Yeah, some girls used to shave their legs Grin

StatisticallyChallenged · 11/05/2014 16:22

I'm with the manager tardisgirl. It really is common sense that you don't strip naked in front of strangers when nobody else is doing that.

summerbreezer · 11/05/2014 16:41

There is absolutely no evidence to suggest this man is a pervert/paedophile/exposing himself to children deliberately.

I'm quite shocked by some of the inflammatory messages on this thread. As I said up thread, there is nothing illegal about his behaviour as described by the OP.

Whether or not it is appropriate to shower naked in a mixed environment is always going to divide opini

summerbreezer · 11/05/2014 16:45

Posted too soon..

Divide opinion. Personally, I remember my parents were extremely careful in teaching me the difference between the naked body and inappropriate sexual conduct.

If I had been a child in this scenario I wouldn't have battered an eyelid. If I was the man, I think I would complain. How humiliating to be marched out like a sex offender when you have not contravened either the law or, it seems, leisure centre rules.

turgiday · 11/05/2014 16:49

MN never fails to amaze me. So no to putting photos of clothed kids on fb because they might be seen by perverts. But yes to a man who is a stranger showering naked in front of lots of kids.

The manager was totally in the right. And this happened in Scotland, they have different laws to England.

intheenddotcom · 11/05/2014 16:49

Even with signs it is not illegal. With signs it will be against the rules for the pool and they can ask someone to leave but it is not illegal.
I too am shocked by some of the messages on here.

Writerwannabe83 · 11/05/2014 16:51

It's just a naked body - I don't see what the fuss is about.

There are always loads of posts about how we should be teaching children what 'normal bodies' look like and not be embarrassed about nudity - but now, you want a man marched off the premises like he's some kind of child molester because he's naked? It's ridiculous.

People get naked in front of strangers all the time -saunas etc - and some people genuinely aren't embarrassed by being naked. The man was just taking a shower, I'm pretty sure he meant no harm.

ouryve · 11/05/2014 16:52

When I visited germany as a teen, nobody bothered using the changing rooms at the lido. Everyone - I mean everyone - changed at the poolside. No squirming around behind towels. Clothes off, cossies on, then into the pool.

windchime · 11/05/2014 16:53

In Finland everyone runs around in the buff at saunas and suchlike. And nudist colonies do exist, with absolutely no rudey stuff intended.

Kewcumber · 11/05/2014 16:54

I've changed in a LOT of communal areas over my nearly 50 years. Have yet to see any divided opinion on whether its appropriate for an adult male to strip off in a public area except on MN.

I didn't actually say it was illegal - I said he would get into trouble. Because I've never been to a pool that allows nude showering in communal showers in the UK.

That doesn't mean I personally have any particular issue with it, it just means that I have never seen anyone strip in a public shower or been to a pool that allowed it. I would say that the vast majority of British adults accept this (whether they agree with it or not) which means you are either foreign and don't understand or you choose to ignore the accepted norm for whatever reason.

If this were not the accepted norm then there would be a LOT of people stripping off in showers across the UK. And there isn;t, please don't pretend there is.