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AIBU?

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Original poster

Naked man in communal showers. Totally stark bollock naked.

526 replies

tardisgirl68 · 10/05/2014 21:40

Not an AIBU cos really the title says it all. At massive local pool with group of five girls aged 10/11. Luckily they were showering in different area, I was waiting at lockers for them to come back and get changed. Bloke in the shower, nonchalantly steps out of his trunks and made big show of rinsing them out. I did a double take, then the slow burn whilst my brain tried to process what i was seeing Shock Angry . I nabbed a passing lifeguard and said "look!!!!" He was (after getting dressed) frogmarched out and told if he came back in they'd get police involved. Creep. My group of girls saw nothing but that was more luck than anything. shudders

OP posts:
turgiday · 13/05/2014 01:22

I am in England and our local polls have communal showers, but single sex ones.

iseenodust · 13/05/2014 10:02

In England, communal showers at council pool, no option of single sex showers.

Kewcumber · 13/05/2014 10:07

I'm in England - one of our local pools has communal mixed sex showers, one has individual single sex showers.

England's quite a big place to know all the showering arrangements of council pools!

iseenodust · 13/05/2014 10:13

There is an ongoing 'debate' about this same topic at one of the expensive London tennis clubs. According to the paper an 8 year old boy mentioned an adult male was soaping (sic) himself in the showers whilst maintaining eye contact with the boy. Man been asked to leave club but many friends who say he's not done anything wrong trying to get voted into positions to get friend back in.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 13/05/2014 13:47

iseen I think that's a bit more nuanced than the situation in the OP, where the shower is mixed sex. I think most people would agree you cannot strip off in unisex shower in UK. But stipping off in a men only communal shower is fine for men as long as they are just showering in a normal way. So did the man in your tennis club example simple clean himself up or was he behaving in a sexual or threatening way towards the young boy? Much more difficult to judge without hearing the accounts of those who were there.

ChelsyHandy · 13/05/2014 14:12

I might be wrong, but communal showers tend to be the norm in very recently built pools, rather than a difference between Scottish and English pools.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/05/2014 14:31

I'm a bit confused by the communal showers - do they mean poolside showers where you shower before going into the pool?

or showers where you go after you've swam?

My sort of new but I'd say about 10 years old leisure centre has a communal poolside shower but separate showers for men/women with cubicles and non cubicles.

turgiday · 13/05/2014 14:41

I assume if the boy at the tennis club complained, the man acted in a manner that made him uncomfortable.

Part of the problem with someone leering, is we all know what it is when we experience it. But describing it, it can sound like nothing.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/05/2014 14:44

This is probably going to enflame some people even more - but this reminds me - about 2 years ago I was looking for an aqua aerobics class after work. found one, went. got out to get changed.

they had communal showers - pool side - but I didn't notice/realise there were other showers until someone told me. Anyway quite a few men were hanging around and I hate to say it leering a bit until I left and had pointed out to me there were separate cubicles in a separate area.

these same men were also fenced off in the pool (where the class was) but the men were jumping up and down, really near the class, making rude gestures etc - so much so that I and a few other women complained to the instructor (who was useless didn't say a word) and to the desk manager at the entrance.

But this distracts a bit…. from the original topic.

Loulou000 · 13/05/2014 14:45

I don't really understand the problem, if he wasn't perving out or showing off his manhood in a disturbing way. It's just a human body.

StatisticallyChallenged · 13/05/2014 14:45

Quite a few of the Edinburgh council pools only have one set of showers. The pool I used as a kid had (for each gender) changing rooms, then a set of communal but single sex showers, then a doorway through to the pool. Because of the position the showers at one side were semi visible from the pool. There were no single shower stalls or cubicles at all - more of a room with the wall at either side having a bunch of showers on it maybe 2-3ft apart. So you were pretty darn close to the person next to you And visible to everyone going in or out of the pool. Including kids up to age eight of the opposite gender who would use it with parents as there was no separate family changing section
You would use the same showers before and after swimming.

ilovepowerhoop · 13/05/2014 16:08

In the olden days we had separate changing rooms and showers for males and females so if you wanted to get naked (which tended to be the old grannies rather than young girls/women) it was ok.

When they refurbished the pool the changing area became communal with cubicles for both males and females to get changed and there is only one set of showers that are poolside and in full view of the pool/spectators/changing room, etc

There are other showers in the changing area for the gym but they are not anywhere near the pool.

SolidGoldBrass · 13/05/2014 18:25

I also think that merely seeing something you don't like is a case of 'get the fuck over yourself' not 'Waah, call the police'. If you are in a place where there are plenty of other people and a clear escape route then you are in no danger and you will not die from seeing a willy. It's actually a really bad idea to indicate to DC that they are in constant terrible danger from peedafils and that even Impure Thoughts from someone else might destroy them. And, most important of all, teach them that being offended by behaviour that is nothing to do with them is something to suck up because otherwise they'll find sooner or later someone else is offended by their mere existence.

whatever5 · 13/05/2014 20:00

So do you feel that flashing should be decriminalised then SolidGoldBrass?

turgiday · 13/05/2014 20:08

SGB - Or people having sex in public? Should people just get over themselves and look away?

Summerbreezer · 13/05/2014 20:38

Is now the time to point out that sex in public isn't illegal?

You can't have sex in a loo.

It is arguable that if you have sex in a very obvious place like a supermarket that you have "outraged public decency" - the act of having sex being of course overtly sexual in nature, whereas nudity isn't.

But if you pop along for a picnic in the woods and happen to stumble upon a couple at it - then there's nothing to be done I'm afraid.

SuperFlyHigh · 13/05/2014 20:40

Summer - I didn't realise it wasn't illegal, I'll go back to shagging in an open field then. Grin

SolidGoldBrass · 13/05/2014 20:41

If you see someone having sex in the woods or up a dark alley then yes, walk away. They are not doing it to frighten or harass you. They have no interest in you. As for flashing - it remains a minor crime, and I am really not comfortable with the idea of cracking down on anyone for stuff they might do in the future.

whatever5 · 13/05/2014 20:51

As for flashing - it remains a minor crime, and I am really not comfortable with the idea of cracking down on anyone for stuff they might do in the future.

So you think flashing should be decriminalised?

pebblyshit · 13/05/2014 20:53

I hate flashers. They use you to get their rocks off without your consent right in front of you. It's nasty and weird as well as fucking rude.

ScrambledSmegs · 13/05/2014 20:58

One of my friends was flashed at Uni. He followed her from town and waited till she was in an isolated spot. She was terrified. Didn't go out alone for ages.

He got a caution Sad

SirChenjin · 13/05/2014 20:58

Just come onto this thread.

Of course flashing your bollocks in a public place, in front of young girls who no doubt have no desire to see your nads, isn't acceptable. Anyone trying to argue otherwise is just trotting out the usual I'm so fucking liberal, me, guff.

Summerbreezer · 13/05/2014 21:09

What is so galling about certain posters on this thread is that anyone who disagrees with the OP is deemed

a) a troll

b) one person posting under different usernames or

c) on a mission to prove how "liberal" they are. The implication being that they are don't actually believe it but somehow get their kicks from advancing their political persuasion on the internet to strangers.

No-one has to agree with anyone - that is the joy of discussion. What is worrying is that some people don't seem to believe others have the right or the capacity to see the situation differently to the way they do.

turgiday · 13/05/2014 21:21

Having sex in a public space where you know people will see you, is deliberately involving others in your sex, without their consent.

whatever5 · 13/05/2014 21:25

You forgot to mention that some of the people who disagree with OP might just like playing devil's advocate.

I certainly believe that there are people who would see the situation differently though. A sex offender probably would for example.

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