Naked man in communal showers. Totally stark bollock naked.

[tardisgirl68]

Not an AIBU cos really the title says it all. At massive local pool with group of five girls aged 10/11. Luckily they were showering in different area, I was waiting at lockers for them to come back and get changed. Bloke in the shower, nonchalantly steps out of his trunks and made big show of rinsing them out. I did a double take, then the slow burn whilst my brain tried to process what i was seeing . I nabbed a passing lifeguard and said "look!!!!" He was (after getting dressed) frogmarched out and told if he came back in they'd get police involved. Creep. My group of girls saw nothing but that was more luck than anything. shudders

heh

If I see a naked female body whilst changing in a non cubicled female only changing area, that is something I have to take on board when I am with my children.

I think there is a difference between seeing some breasts whilst a bra is being put on, and someone wandering about naked, though.

But no-one mentioned wandering around naked...argh. I'm in a time warp.

I have to say that I am spoilt at the pool I use the most.

Separate showers not visible from the pool.
Separate communal change with individual cubicles.
And a cubicled family change.

The problem is that those who argue for mixed sex changing where people get naked, don't seem to acknowledge that lots of people would stop using facilities if that was the set up.

If you have no problem with mixed sex nudity in a changing room, you probably have no problem with a lack of mixed sex nudity.

I always wonder exactly how social norms came to be so different across different countries.

In Denmark it's not just a relaxed attitude to nudity, naked showers (complete with diagrams to show you exactly what areas to concentrate on) before and after swimming are absolutely standard. All our Danish acquaintances consider it absolutely disgusting that nobody showers naked before getting in the pool in the UK, they're genuinely horrified by it as much as some are about the sight of a naked man.

No ond else has to mention it, do they?

It was a point that I was making, not a response!

But do you not think thatbloodywoman that on some level it is good to see how much the human body varies?

Kids get so hung up about body shape. To see fat people, thin people, people with saggy boobs, people with no boobs, people with stretch marks, people with a hairy bush, people with no pubes etc etc etc might help kids see that everyone is different and its all cool?

Summer - Only if it was genuinely safe. And that includes safe from being leered at.

How would you know if it was genuinely safe? (Genuine question).

Yes, I do see that summer,and somehow I have skidded off onto nudity in general! Actually I am not worried about female nudity in front of my dd's, but I do want them to learn modesty too.

But I don't want them to see naked men with big nobs, little nobs, the full back sack 'n' crack, etc etc.

It depends on the setting. I have been at MichFest, a women's festival where all the showers were open air and communal. There were young girls, thin women, fat women, disabled women, etc. It was a totally safe place to be.

I dont think children are THAT hung up on body shapes, unless theyve been given weird messages by their parents, that is; & in that case it would start in the home, its not to do with outside 'society'.

I do think there are quite a few adults with a strange attitude towards children/youths and nudity/sexuality - almost in an 'this is what its all about and Im going to show you, whether you like it or not, and get away with it under the banner that Im somehow doing youths a favour.

Puts me in mind of that programme a couple of years back, can't recall the name now - but it was elders going around to schools standing in the classsroom butt naked whilst a very gleeful tv presenter discussed their 'bits' with teens in the classroom, many of whom you could plainly see, just didnt want to know. Voyeurism to a tv audience of millions, & a captive audience of teens who looked like they wanted to barf...it must have made the nudies day. I did laugh whenever the tv presenter deadpanned that it was all in the name of research and teens not being shy about bodies...(like, wtf DON'T teens know at at 15/16?!)

Anyway, the flasher in the swimming pool - ok if just adults are present, not if their are kids present tho and their parents don't want them to see some strangers knob at their eye level.

the flasher in the swimming pool

Once more, totally misrepresenting what actually happened.

He wasn't flashing - that's something entirely different as you well know. And he wasn't in the open pool. He was standing under a shower, innocently washing himself.

I certainly haven't been to every public pool in Britain, but the ones I've been to in London, Herefordshire, Worcestershire, Essex, and Northumberland have all had large mixed sex changing rooms with individual cubicals. All offered men's or women's only showers as well as a bank of showers in the communal area. It was pretty obvious that everyone, barring infants of course, was expected to cover their genitals when not in an individual cubical or in the single sex shower rooms.

The OP reads as if the man was nude in a bank of public showers in the communal area. In Britain, it's not OK to be nude in public, whether that's the street, the shops, a public park, the pool, or communal showers.

Are posters here assuming that there was only a mixed sex changing room with no individual cubicals or single sex option for showering? That seems highly unlikely to me.

Yes, it's different in Finland, Germany, new age hippy dippy festivals in summer, Timbuktu, Cape of Horn, etc. That happened in Scotland, where it is not and never has been a cultural norm and no amount of singing Kumbaya or banging on about how morally superior you are to cherish even a naked Peter Kay with Godzilla's face is going to change that.

Turgiday - so what's your solution to the problem of single parents taking children of the opposite gender to the swimming pool, if mixed-sex changing is so eeeevil? My DS, for example, has always been tall for his age but I wouldn't have let him go into a separate changing room alone when he was about 5 (though he looked 8 or 9) - not because of Peedo Panic but because he would have lost his shoes and/or dropped his dry clothes in a pool of water or something.

Family changing rooms obviously

I couldnt care less what he was doing. Unless its the norm and the usual keep your cock covered when kids are around, just accept that some parents won't like it and thats that.

All these excuses people are coming up with to make it ok to dangle your bits in front of other people's kids, when its not welcomed. Get lost with that one - the arrogance of assuming that 'oh well they won't know much about the human body so its ok if I show it off' gets on my nerves. Im quite sure theyve seen their parents nude at home or have had the talk, and dont need the benefit of your fanny/bollocks waving in the wind.

Nothing against mixed sex changing if its all kids, most places Ive visited had family changing rooms too. I dont even know where the adults section was, thats how far away it was and best thing, too. You do your thing, leave parents with their kids to do theirs

Not all children have ever seen an adult body of the opposite sex.
And I'm not sure being presented with one when you go for your Sunday swim would always be the preferred learning experience.

It just so happens that not all men enjoy or feel comfortable being naked in front of children, particularly girls.

I don't think a child really has a pressing need to know what an adult of the opposite sex looks like.

This has moved on way too much for me to read all the new posts, but treacle, I'm glad I presumed right about your gender!

turgiday, 'And that includes safe from being leered at.' Who was leering in this scenario?

Banana, 'in the UK people don't usually get naked in mixed-sex showers at pools.' That's a sweeping statement. I agree with summer on this: 'We all have to obey "cultural normal" and do what everyone else does, or we get frogmarched out? What about stuff like gay marriage? That wasn't a "cultural norm" and most people are straight.'

AllMimsy, the OP doesn't say explicitly whether or not they were the poolside 'rinse' showers; but she says 'the showers are all open plan and communal. Some have views of the pool and some look onto the locker areas, where he was.' This makes it sound as though he was in a 'proper' shower and not poolside. I don't know for sure though, obviously. The costume thing, the reason I think a costume harbours more germs than a body is because I used to go to a place with a swimming pool that didn't use chemicals in the water. They asked everyone to shower thoroughly before swimming, to help keep the pool clean. They said it was preferable for cleanliness if you did so naked.

That is the full extent of my experience and 'knowledge' on the subject though, and I'm happy to be proven wrong.

Sallying - he made according to OP a big show of stepping out of and rinsing his trunks.

nothing wrong in the above statement if you're with other men or alone and looking back on this I think he's not a perv/paedo etc.

in fact I think he's more an exhibitionist based on OP's original post. But like others have said it's not the done thing. why would she make a scene, post here and he get frogmarched out if it was ok? and no we're not in Europe.

I must actually next time I'm at my parents SW holiday home in France at their pool watch the men more closely to see what they do!

Super, that's exactly the problem I have with discussions about nakedness in showers, changing rooms etc. Anti-nakedness people tend to use that kind of language –on this thread we have 'made a big show of', 'prancing about' and 'exposing himself'. In similar discussions I've seen phrases like 'parading about', 'showing it all off', etc. I don't understand why people seem so quick to accuse others of showing off in some way just because they've got no clothes on.

How on earth do we know he deliberately 'made a big show' of anything? Maybe he was just, ya know, taking off and rinsing off his trunks?

And you've made a very quick judgement on him being 'more an exhibitionist'.

Only - I would not have said that had the OP herself said it! those words were HER words not mine….

she was there! she saw what happened! I was not!

I'm out of this one.