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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent playing with other peoples children at soft play

141 replies

OneToThree · 07/05/2014 19:58

AIBU to think this is quite odd behaviour?

They are such good fun, loud, energetic that most of the children in there were chasing after them and playing a tickle monster game.

The main issue I have with this I think is that he gets all the children so hyped up that they start to act a bit naughty, ie pushing each other, grabbing toys off each other etc.

If my dc and my friends 2 dc were just playing calmly together these things wouldn't happen very often at all.

All the children playing with the other parent were under 5 and they only had one child with them, the others were other peoples, probably about 9 others.

This other parent is always there on this particular day and me and my friend also go on this day every week too.

It has got to the stage where ds said to me today, look mummy there's my friend, which seems a bit over familiar as they have only said hi to me and my friend a couple of times.

I am more than happy to be told that IABU.

OP posts:
dyslexicdespot · 07/05/2014 20:03

I'm always delighted when I see other parents engage with children. Why don't you join in next time?

PourquoiTuGachesTaVie · 07/05/2014 20:04

Yabu, he's just playing with them along with his own child isn't he?

Ds refers to children he has only just met as his friend so someone who plays with him every week would probably get the same honour.

BrianTheMole · 07/05/2014 20:04

I can't see a problem, its nice for the kids.

BiscuitCrumb · 07/05/2014 20:06

This could be me Blush. I go in with my DS and before I know it we have random children joining us, trying to talk to me and trying to get me to play with them. I can't just ignore them so I let them join us.

CrushedVelvet · 07/05/2014 20:07

DS is an only child without nearby cousins or family friends his age, so we often used to do this sort of thing to help teach him how to play with other children.

DoJo · 07/05/2014 20:07

I think it's nice that a parent is involved enough to engage with other kids. Almost every time I have taken my son to soft play there has been at least one child there who is desperate to join in any games, talk to me about whatever nonsense is in their teeny little head, or show me and my son something they have just discovered. Sometimes this is just because I happen to be closest, but more often it is because they are there on their own (without friends or siblings, not completely alone!) and want some company.

Where are you when this is happening? Surely you could engage your kids with an alternative game if you don't want them getting hyped up, but I think the onus is on you to distract your kids rather than on the other parent to stop playing games which appeal to them.

Aeroflotgirl · 07/05/2014 20:07

Yabvvu very sad the world is coming to this

redskyatnight · 07/05/2014 20:07

Gosh that is really quite shocking - an adult playing with his own child and interacting with the other children round about ...

and children getting a bit hyper at soft play - who'd have thought it?

Passmethecrisps · 07/05/2014 20:08

Me too. I am like the pied friggin piper.

Enjoy the opportunity for a blether with your friends

BuzzardBird · 07/05/2014 20:08

He will probably start a thread soon saying he is sick of looking after other people's dcs at softplay Grin

passmethewineplease · 07/05/2014 20:08

YABVU.

hazeyjane · 07/05/2014 20:08

Or me, I have to play with ds at soft play, and it is usually quite silly, and sometimes other kids join in. Ds doesn't really 'do' other children so I try to make a bit of an effort!

Anonynony · 07/05/2014 20:09

This could definitely be me Blush

Chippednailvarnish · 07/05/2014 20:09

Well you could actually play with your own child, instead of them need attention from another adult.

Original poster
OneToThree · 07/05/2014 20:10

I don't go there to play with them, I do that enough other times. Me and my friend go there to sit down and have a natter.
I always get up every 5 mins or so anyway to check they're ok as they're only 3 (twins) but when the other parent is whooping them up it feels like we need to keep an eye on them a bit more as they are more likely to act up when excited.

OP posts:
CruCru · 07/05/2014 20:10

I play with other children. It seems churlish to refuse.

Hulababy · 07/05/2014 20:10

Surely the parent is initially just playing with their own child - and then the other children just want to tag along and join in. Should the parent then just ignore them?

If the children are having fun and the parent is happy to engage them all, isn't it just all quite nice really?

I guess if you don't want your child to join in then tell your child that and ask them to play elsewhere - or go and play with them yourself instead.

littlewhitebag · 07/05/2014 20:11

Who plays calmly at soft play? It's a place for racing around and letting off steam. I am sure all the children love this parent, he sounds like fun. You know fun, FUN that thing children like to have?

Andrewofgg · 07/05/2014 20:12

Some parents - female or male - are Pied Pipers. The children gravitate to them. Let it happen.

wheresthelight · 07/05/2014 20:13

Yabu on two levels

  1. he is engaging with kids and having fun - there is no harm

  2. at 3 years old you should be supervising your kids nitiignoring them so you can have a coffee and a chat

BarbarianMum · 07/05/2014 20:14

You don't have to let your children play with him. I guess they're choosing to cause it's fun but you can always forbid them if you don't like it (doubt he'll care).

BubbleSausageTheSecond · 07/05/2014 20:15

I always end up surrounded by kids as I go in to play with dd, then get others wanting to join in, I can't just tell them to go away. Although sometimes I wish I could, 'cos I end up entertaining all the kids, while their parents get to relax with a coffee! Grin

nomorequotes · 07/05/2014 20:16

Where is this soft play and on what day? I would definitely be up for going!

Joysmum · 07/05/2014 20:18

This could be me. I always played with my DD in soft play and always got hangers on who just wanted to be where the fun was.

I remember playing with my DD as a toddler in the local outdoor paddling pool and more and more kids joining in. Before I knew it there were 20+ of us all playing together whilst I orchestrated the fun to ensure all were included.

Lots of parents occasionally looked up from their phones glad their little darlings weren't interrupting their texting and Facebooking.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives · 07/05/2014 20:18

Whats the harm? I was at soft play yesterday with DC and some friends. a little girl aged about3 came up to me while I was dancing with DS and his friend in the disco room and asked me to hold her baby (dolly) so she could dance, because "i just don't get a break!" I rocked baby doll while she and the others danced and we discussed what hard work having babies is.

really hope no one thought I was well dodgy or weird for that Confused