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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent playing with other peoples children at soft play

141 replies

OneToThree · 07/05/2014 19:58

AIBU to think this is quite odd behaviour?

They are such good fun, loud, energetic that most of the children in there were chasing after them and playing a tickle monster game.

The main issue I have with this I think is that he gets all the children so hyped up that they start to act a bit naughty, ie pushing each other, grabbing toys off each other etc.

If my dc and my friends 2 dc were just playing calmly together these things wouldn't happen very often at all.

All the children playing with the other parent were under 5 and they only had one child with them, the others were other peoples, probably about 9 others.

This other parent is always there on this particular day and me and my friend also go on this day every week too.

It has got to the stage where ds said to me today, look mummy there's my friend, which seems a bit over familiar as they have only said hi to me and my friend a couple of times.

I am more than happy to be told that IABU.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 07/05/2014 21:33

YABU

You go to soft play for a break and don't want to supervise your 3 year olds

Luckily for you there is an adult who will play with them and do the supervising for you so you can have your coffee

But you have an issue with this? I am confused as to your problem here.

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/05/2014 21:43

Anais Maybe - or maybe he's just a better sport than me and figures if he's stuck with all these kids he may as well make a game out of it.

Or maybe he genuinely enjoys playing with lots of kids.

I don't know.

What I do know is that the Op can avoid the problem pretty easily by playing with her children.

waterlego6064 · 07/05/2014 21:44

Personally, I'm very grateful for Pied Piper parents. They make me look bad, but they facilitate opportunities for relaxation and peace and quiet. Thank you Pied Pipers, I hope you don't secretly hate the likes of me Grin

hakunafrittata · 07/05/2014 21:47

How can you enforce 'stranger danger' if it only applies sometimes?

KissMyFatArse · 07/05/2014 21:50

Dojo - spot on.

BrianTheMole · 07/05/2014 21:55

Well no op, I don't go to soft play to play with the children obviously Grin. I go there to drink coffee, sit on my butt and catch up with my friends. (The park is a different matter, happy to play in the park). But anyway, I still wouldn't have an issue with that man. He sounds like fun. More fun than me in that hell called soft play. Good on him.

TheScience · 07/05/2014 21:56

I don't enforce "stranger danger" because it's not a helpful concept for young children.

nomorequotes · 07/05/2014 22:08

What a rational perspective science

I think stranger danger is absurd. Open and honest conversation is important and it is far more likely that a child will be abused by a close relative or family friend than a 'stranger'

WanderingAway · 07/05/2014 22:20

At all of the soft play places that i have been to there have always been signs saying that parents are responsible for their children and parents need to supervise their children. Sitting on your arse, drinking coffee and chatting is NOT supervising your children.

TheScience · 07/05/2014 22:24

If every parent decided to get into the play frame with their child it wouldn't work - a load of adults sitting in the ball pit or queuing up for the slide would stop children from actually being able to play, not to mention make it dangerous with 15stone lardarses crashing around on top of 3st toddlers.

BlackDaisies · 07/05/2014 22:27

I think it depends on the interaction. Once when I was at soft play my little boy joined in with another boy and his dad. The dad was making huge walls that the boys were knocking down. I thought it was lovely that he included my son. However a parent seeking out my son to play tickling games would bother me, for reasons other people have said.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 22:33

TheScience - you actually don't even have to get into the play frame. You are able to observe it outwith, hence the open-plan netting!

I also take exception to your phrase 15-stone "lardarses" and since when has a toddler weighed 3st - anyone????

ashtrayheart · 07/05/2014 22:34

There's a height and weight limit on these soft play areas for a reason you know!
I like to sit and drink coffee and play only phone, with the occasional glance to check the children are still on the premises Wink
Yanbu.

crypticbow08 · 07/05/2014 22:34

This is probably me too. I normally end up with a trail of kids behind me when I go in the soft play with ds. I don't go in planning on playing with all the other kids, but I would never ignore another child who just wants to play as well. If you don't want your children playing with this man, its your responsibility to stop them.

ashtrayheart · 07/05/2014 22:34

*on my

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 22:39

And I see so many young children acting up, because their Mums are on their mobile phones, instead of PLAYING with them (or at least taking an interest in what they're doing).

ThatsAStupidUsername · 07/05/2014 22:48

I haven't read all the thread...

OP, I think it's perfectly ok NOT to play with your DC at soft play. I sometimes would but I wouldn't have worried about it for a second if I didn't. I don't think soft play has to mean the kids have to be hyper. My kids used to play pretend games a lot.

I wouldn't want someone else tickling my kids but it would be nothing to do with me thinking they were acting inappropriately more that I just think it's over familiar. I would say hi to him and simply ask him not to tickle or play fight with the kids because they get too hyper.

WestEast · 07/05/2014 22:55

The soft play we go to has a ball games court in the middle, basket ball/football and some sponge balls. My DSD can be painfully shy so me or her Dad will go in with her and invariably other kiddies join in, we stay for a little while all playing together and then make our excuses and leave her to play with other kiddies. If we weren't there joining in to start with she wouldn't join in as much, so a quick kick about with someone else's kiddie does wonders for my DSD :)

maddening · 07/05/2014 23:46

My ds wouldn't let me not come round with him - he is 3yr 4 mths and I ddon't think he has the social capacity to engage or defend himself from larger dc - larger ones can be rough and run fast - have seen lots of younger ones being pushed and climbed over. And there can be some trickier bits too. Personally I think if your dc are seeking out adult supervision then you should be the one providing it.

When I go with friends we don't sit and chat properly until we all sit down for lunch - may get a chat in the ball pit or on the way round and in the football bit but we generally go round with them.

AgaPanthers · 07/05/2014 23:48

for fucks sake if you don't like other fucking people don't got to a fucking place where they will fucking be. Stay at fucking home.

fucking hell.

BrianTheMole · 07/05/2014 23:50

And I see so many young children acting up, because their Mums are on their mobile phones, instead of PLAYING with them (or at least taking an interest in what they're doing).

Crikey, I haven't seen many like that. Generally the kids run riot, basking in the freedom because they are not being followed around. Which is how it should be.

BrianTheMole · 07/05/2014 23:53

Wow aga, 5 fucks in one paragraph, 1 extra one in the last line. Are you fucked off by any chance Wink

Igggi · 07/05/2014 23:57

I pay for a soft play session about once a fortnight so that I do not have to follow ds2 around and can have a bit of a break and a cup of tea. The rest of the time we visit playgrounds where I have to be ready to catch him all the time - soft play is the equivalent of a padded cell for me, he is safe and I can relax (slightly)!

AgaPanthers · 08/05/2014 00:02

I've drunk some Sauvignon Blanc.

BrianTheMole · 08/05/2014 00:34

Thats what it is then Grin