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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent playing with other peoples children at soft play

141 replies

OneToThree · 07/05/2014 19:58

AIBU to think this is quite odd behaviour?

They are such good fun, loud, energetic that most of the children in there were chasing after them and playing a tickle monster game.

The main issue I have with this I think is that he gets all the children so hyped up that they start to act a bit naughty, ie pushing each other, grabbing toys off each other etc.

If my dc and my friends 2 dc were just playing calmly together these things wouldn't happen very often at all.

All the children playing with the other parent were under 5 and they only had one child with them, the others were other peoples, probably about 9 others.

This other parent is always there on this particular day and me and my friend also go on this day every week too.

It has got to the stage where ds said to me today, look mummy there's my friend, which seems a bit over familiar as they have only said hi to me and my friend a couple of times.

I am more than happy to be told that IABU.

OP posts:
Original poster
OneToThree · 07/05/2014 20:18

OK IABU I'm fine with that.

I suppose another slight issue I have is that at 2/3/4 children are just learning how to play nicely together and because they are just following/chasing/being chased by this person they're not building up as much as a friendship as they might have. It is my best friends children too and it would be nice if the only 2 hours a week they get to see each other could be spent together.

Also the people saying play a game that your children will want to play instead of with this person. Well there is no way I could act as loud and "wacky" as this other parent. I would be too embarrassed! Although I am more than happy to do silly games, songs and dances at home.

OP posts:
LackaDAISYcal · 07/05/2014 20:19

YABU, for all the reasons previously stated.

My DH is a pied piper as well, much to his utter bewilderment Grin

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 20:19

I don't go there to play with them, I do that enough other times. Me and my friend go there to sit down and have a natter.
I always get up every 5 mins or so anyway to check they're ok as they're only 3 (twins) but when the other parent is whooping them up it feels like we need to keep an eye on them a bit more as they are more likely to act up when excited.

Confused You don't go there to play with them but go to have a natter with your friend but they're only three yrs old? They're in a soft play area and you don't want them to whoop it up?

Sorry - I'm a bit confused

Ploppy16 · 07/05/2014 20:19

Go on a different day if it bothers you? Honestly it's fine. I'm a pied piper too and as much as I usually enjoy it sometimes I would appreciate other parents actually looking after their own kids for a change and not tutting when I sit down for a drink...
YABU.

I8toys · 07/05/2014 20:23

Yabu - this used to happen to me too. It happens when we go camping - tent full of other people's kids because we put on plays, get paints out etc We are both crb'd by the way - not that I should have to say it.

One child said my dad thinks your weird cos you have lots of kids here. So sad - most of the kids parents couldn't' be arsed to spend time with their own children - on holiday ffs.

Let's face it some parents are fun and others are miserable twunts. Children will go where the fun is.

redskyatnight · 07/05/2014 20:23

If your children and friends' children play with the other parent for 2 whole hours solidly, I will concede you may have a point (and that he has the patience of saint).

If you want the children to spend the time making friends I would suggest that soft play every week is probably not the best venue (too many other distractions).

ComposHat · 07/05/2014 20:23

Man interacts with children (including his own) at play area shocker. Stone him alive as he is almost certainly doing it so he can abuse the kids. Akmost definitely not, but you can't be too careful, so stone him anyway on the off chance.

Seriously, I am male and would like children one day. Given the way our jobs work I would probably be the children's primary carer. The thought that if I interact with them along with their friends in a play environment it will be seen at best odd and at worse sinister depresses me.

Passmethecrisps · 07/05/2014 20:25

Take the kids to the park? Then they can focus on building friendships if this bothers you.

I think you are probably undervaluing the role fun has though. While they are running around and playing they are sharing an experience - this is how friendships are built

Lucyccfc · 07/05/2014 20:26

That man is Moi! I am sure that my DS used to get invited to everyone's birthday parties at soft play, as I used to spend time playing with him and generally being daft and having fun, so all the other kids used to join in. They used to take great delight in pushing me down the slide and then all jumping on me at the bottom. We used to make up our own assault courses and the kids loved me to time them and we would all shout, cheer and clap at the finish line. It was great fun.

It meant all the other parents could sit on their back-sides, sipping their posh coffee and chatting, whilst I looked after all their kids lol.

I did used to duck out and get my breath back and leave the other parents to supervise the food.

My DS is nearly 9 and I do miss the days of soft play when I could just make a complete fool of myself and have fun. Now I just get the 'look' from DS if I act daft or have a bit of fun - I am soooo embarrassing.

Let yourself go a bit and have some fun. (It's keeps you fit too)

AShadowStirsWithin · 07/05/2014 20:27

OP if you want the children to all build a friendship and learn to be best buddies don't take them so soft play! If you take them to softplay you have to accept that other parents may play with your children and that they will all have a whale of a time. They're only kids once, let them get excited, where's the harm?

Ploppy16 · 07/05/2014 20:27

Compos at my local pit of hell soft play centre you would not be judged or thought weird. Pitied possibly and more than likely bought a drink. But not judged.

Lesleythegiraffe · 07/05/2014 20:27

Sadly there is an assumption nowadays that an adult (not just male) can't be friendly towards children without being a paedophile.

Original poster
OneToThree · 07/05/2014 20:27

Do you all really go to soft play places to play with your children? I always thought it was an ideal safe place that they could go off and potter on their own?
I also stated that I would always check them if I hadn't seen them wandering past in the last 5 mins.

OP posts:
I8toys · 07/05/2014 20:28

I remember having to squeeze through the middle of those horizontal roller thingies - you should try it OP

RoseHoney · 07/05/2014 20:28

Yeah this could also be me Confused

The kids just seem to gravitate towards me, it's not like I bribe them over to me with sweets! You are being seriously unreasonable!

Actually you know what, I wish they didn't want to play with me because I go home exhausted and achy and you and all the other coffee drinking parents probably go home full of energy and really happy with your 2 hour break from being a mum!

Soft play is for playing and having fun! If you want your kids to play nicely while you have an uninterrupted coffee then go to Ikea, stick them in the crèche and go to the cafe!

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 07/05/2014 20:29

YABU! I'm so grateful when other adults choose to entertain my kid. Soft play is the place to get crazy anyway.

ICanSeeTheSun · 07/05/2014 20:30

This is me, I am playing with my children and random children join in. Secretly in my mind I am thinking go away but still engage as it good to show the DC social skills, especially DS who is autistic.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 07/05/2014 20:30

Oh and I don't care whether that adult is male or female.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 20:30

My o/h has the same problem - children just seem to gravitate towards him, because he is kind and a lot of fun. (He is also CRB checked and has been on several residential school trips). Would no more harm a fly than a child.

Such a shame that all men are viewed as suspicious by a few suspecting souls

Ploppy16 · 07/05/2014 20:31

Next time you go, play in the ball pool. It's fun [grin[
Those rollers however are instruments of torture.

AnaisB · 07/05/2014 20:31

He plays a "tickle monster game" so he tickles them? - I may be alone here, but that would make me uncomfortable.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 20:32

I remember having to squeeze through the middle of those horizontal roller thingies - you should try it OP

I used to LOVE playing in there. Almost got stuck in the rollers once (they must have been particularly tight ones) Blush

ICanSeeTheSun · 07/05/2014 20:33

I don't play the whole time I am there, but as DH and I work the weekends are precious I I like to spend time with them.

Ploppy16 · 07/05/2014 20:33

anais why?

PrincessBabyCat · 07/05/2014 20:35

You should be thanking him. He's probably tuckering them all out. Real question is, do they go nap later or to bed easy that night?