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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent playing with other peoples children at soft play

141 replies

OneToThree · 07/05/2014 19:58

AIBU to think this is quite odd behaviour?

They are such good fun, loud, energetic that most of the children in there were chasing after them and playing a tickle monster game.

The main issue I have with this I think is that he gets all the children so hyped up that they start to act a bit naughty, ie pushing each other, grabbing toys off each other etc.

If my dc and my friends 2 dc were just playing calmly together these things wouldn't happen very often at all.

All the children playing with the other parent were under 5 and they only had one child with them, the others were other peoples, probably about 9 others.

This other parent is always there on this particular day and me and my friend also go on this day every week too.

It has got to the stage where ds said to me today, look mummy there's my friend, which seems a bit over familiar as they have only said hi to me and my friend a couple of times.

I am more than happy to be told that IABU.

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 08/05/2014 00:37

soft play is the equivalent of a padded cell for me, he is safe and I can relax (slightly)!

Yep. Completely agree.

TheDoctrineOfSnatch · 08/05/2014 00:57

"for fucks sake if you don't like other fucking people don't got to a fucking place where they will fucking be. Stay at fucking home.

fucking hell."

Love this!!

MexicanSpringtime · 08/05/2014 01:03

The original complaint was a bit odd, but so is the criticism of mothers who take advantage of the chance to have a rest. Is it now a sin for a mother to want to let her children play without taking part?

RockinHippy · 08/05/2014 08:21

YABVU

  1. Soft play gets kids hyped up anyway
  1. You are ignoring your DCs in favour of coffee & a chat with an adult friend & then complaining when they are gravitating to someone who is more fun & child friendly & allowing them to join in when playing with his own DCs

Have my very first Biscuit

SoleSource · 08/05/2014 08:31

YANBU He could be an alien from outer space. Have you never watched Close Encounters of The Third Kind? Sellotape the cat flap tonight.

Bonsoir · 08/05/2014 08:33

I don't think it is OK to engage with other people's young DC without the DC's parent's/carer's permission.

KatoPotato · 08/05/2014 08:45

We need a ten-point mumsnet soft play manifesto.

My first contribution:

Hen, if you insist on frolicking on all about on all fours shrieking with your school age children, please arrange appropriate boob coverage.

JaackSparroww · 08/05/2014 09:01

YABU. Its just a parent with his DC. Or are you bothered because it's a man? I see a lot of threads with parents worried about their DCs being taught by or playing with male carers/parents. It doesn't really make a difference. If he was there without his DC it would be a different story and I'd ask the staff to make him leave.
I think it's nice that he is there with DC and letting others join in, he's not causing any harm. Play groups are run by adults who play with other people's children.

SuffolkNWhat · 08/05/2014 09:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KnittingRocks · 08/05/2014 09:15

Seriously Bonsoir?????? Shock

That is so tragic Sad. So if I want to talk to another child I have to first ask the permission of the parent?

I would be horrified if other parents thought they had to do this - I love that my boys will talk to new people all the time and engage with others in a huge variety of settings, they learn so much.

(and before anyone jumps down my throat about stranger danger they're too young to be left unsupervised yet and I don't want them growing up with this "everyone's a pedophile" attitude because it's hideous and does them no favours).

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 08/05/2014 09:16

I take my DD to the soft play so I can go on it too Grin

I do the same with bouncy castles. Why should they have all the fun Grin

I love it when other people invoke my DD in their games. I do the same with other children. I seem to attract children through no fault of my own, but I wouldn't not play with a child if they wanted to play.

adsy · 08/05/2014 09:21

yeah, selfish bastards playing with the children.

adsy · 08/05/2014 09:29

bonsoir what a hideous attitude. Why are people not allowed to interact with children without their parents' permission?

Damnautocorrect · 08/05/2014 09:31

Half the time you can't work out who belongs to who, also how do you deal with it when a kid just bumbles up and joins in.

SaveTheMockingBird · 08/05/2014 09:32

haha my DH is like this. He doesn't deliberately set out to play with other peoples children but they seem to gravitate towards him when he plays with our DCs. He likes running after our DCs and playing games with them and other DCs see this and they want to join in too. My friends DCs do this too. WHen DH is around they are always coming up to him and wants him to swing them up in the air etc. DH is very good at getting children involved in games and is generally good with children (he is a teacher, so used to having children around), and welcoming, so maybe the other children sense this and is comfortable around him.

I don't see any problem with other people playing with my DCs either.

Ploppy16 · 08/05/2014 09:36

I just think that at 3 years old they need an eye keeping on them, I've looked after enough of them to know how risk averse and frankly barmy they can be, and that's without getting hyped up!
When they're older let them run free among the plastic but at that age they need to be supervised more closely.
I really hope you don't complain if they get hurt while you're drinking your coffee.

Hullygully · 08/05/2014 09:39

dear lord, the only way to suffer those places is to sit in the ball pit and play with all the kids. Any kids.

Ploppy16 · 08/05/2014 09:43

Our ball pool is fab, it has tubes that suck up the balls into a tub above you then when you press a button they all fall down on top of you, it's the most popular part of the whole place! Even the kids enjoy it.. Grin
The coffee is overpriced watery crap though.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance · 08/05/2014 09:45

Bonsoir how exactly would you like that permission to be granted?

Is verbal permission ok? Recorded verbal permission? Written permission? In triplicate? Signed in blood and witnessed by 2 persons of good standing?

And what should he do? Kid joins in with his playing with his own child. Man says no sorry kid - I'm not allowed to play with you without permission? Really?

Rant over?
General comment - you know those little boys you have and love - well one day, it could be them being viewed as 'odd'/'paedos' for just being male and being around kids more creatively than their grandfathers whose only job was to bring in the money and sit at home with pipe and slippers while DW did the kids (and everything else).

Do we really want to go back to that?

OP if you don't like it - remove yourself and your kids from the situation - simples.

And I feel so sad for my sons - and everyone elses - when this kind of shit gets peddled.

Ploppy16 · 08/05/2014 09:51

And I feel so sad for my sons - and everyone elses - when this kind of shit gets peddled.
This^^ because I do to. I can see Ds being a bit like this as an adult. He's 13 and is great with young ones already, he really has patience with them, especially toddlers. It worries me an awful lot to think that just by being there someone could look at him and think 'get away from my child, weirdo'.
I am quite impressed though that I haven't seen a post stating openly that this man could be a paedophile though, so maybe there's some hope.

Hullygully · 08/05/2014 09:51

And you see the little kids looking on with wistful faces while their carers chat and ignore them. They LOVE to play with an adult.

Floggingmolly · 08/05/2014 09:53

Make your child stand on his own at the side instead of joining in the fun. That'll stop him getting hyped up. Hmm

HoneyDragon · 08/05/2014 09:54

I've been fortunate enough to overhear such comments made against me as the op made. Because obviously playing with children means you can hear parental conversation happening five foot away. Hmm

The same women had the nerve to comment the next time we were together that I was ignoring their children who were upset I wouldn't play with them Angry

MaoamMuncher · 08/05/2014 09:57

Pregnant lady got stuck in the rollers round here a while ago.......it made the paper and everyfink.

Yabu btw.

Playingthelonggame · 08/05/2014 10:00

dear lord, the only way to suffer those places is to sit in the ball pit and play with all the kids. Any kids

^^^ yes!

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