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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parent playing with other peoples children at soft play

141 replies

OneToThree · 07/05/2014 19:58

AIBU to think this is quite odd behaviour?

They are such good fun, loud, energetic that most of the children in there were chasing after them and playing a tickle monster game.

The main issue I have with this I think is that he gets all the children so hyped up that they start to act a bit naughty, ie pushing each other, grabbing toys off each other etc.

If my dc and my friends 2 dc were just playing calmly together these things wouldn't happen very often at all.

All the children playing with the other parent were under 5 and they only had one child with them, the others were other peoples, probably about 9 others.

This other parent is always there on this particular day and me and my friend also go on this day every week too.

It has got to the stage where ds said to me today, look mummy there's my friend, which seems a bit over familiar as they have only said hi to me and my friend a couple of times.

I am more than happy to be told that IABU.

OP posts:
EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 20:35

Do you all really go to soft play places to play with your children? I always thought it was an ideal safe place that they could go off and potter on their own?

Yes - they're fun. Much more fun than jabbering and drinking coffee. You can do that any time. You can do that when they've grown up and left home and you wish they were three years old again.

Original poster
OneToThree · 07/05/2014 20:36

I've said IABU that's fine, but I never mentioned that I thought they might be a paedophile.

Also I have done my fair share of squeezing through rollers when they were younger!
And yes he does include them straight away, doesn't wait for them to come to him, he will go to them, tickling them etc

OP posts:
TheScience · 07/05/2014 20:36

I don't go to softplay to play with my own children, but am quite happy for them to play with whichever adult is foolish enough to go in there!

I8toys · 07/05/2014 20:37

Everyone plays the tickle monster thing - whether it be - round and round the garden/ what's the time Mr Wolf - probably plays it with his kid.

Damnautocorrect · 07/05/2014 20:37

This used to be me, I'd be playing with ds and getting lots of cling ons wanting to play too. Am I meant to ignore them?

TheScience · 07/05/2014 20:39

If this bloke is alway there at the same time/day then he's easy enough to avoid if you want?

cricketballs · 07/05/2014 20:39

Think I have read/seen it all...not the op but Anais....you really think someone who is playing with their own child and those whose parents are ignoring them is sinister for being the tickle monster? Makes me sad to think this is what the world is coming to

thebodylovesspring · 07/05/2014 20:40

Oh bloody hell no I detest those look at me arnt I great with kids parents

Massive pain in arse. Agree op

AnaisB · 07/05/2014 20:44

cricket tickling is a personal thing, so I think it's odd to tickle a stranger's child. I didn't say he was sinister.

Original poster
OneToThree · 07/05/2014 20:48

Ok my last post on this now. The people saying play with your children, they're not children for long. Do you really not think I deserve a bit of a sit down when looking after dts 3 all the time. To be frank it can sometimes be fucking hard work!

OP posts:
arethereanyleftatall · 07/05/2014 20:50

Yabu. When I go to soft play I just want to play with dd, really focus on her, rather than my dusting. Drives me bonkers when others start following us around, but you have to let then join in, it's not theire fault they're bring ignored.

WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 07/05/2014 20:52

YABU

arethereanyleftatall · 07/05/2014 20:54

Cross post op. I do imagine you need a break, but I think you should be grateful to this guy for providing you with one, rather than slating him.

TaurielTest · 07/05/2014 20:57

Hmm, broadly this wouldn't bother me, but I'm with Anais on the tickling games. There's some good discussion of that on e.g. this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/womens_rights/a2011183-Overbearing-tickling-rough-play-with-children-feminism-angle - for me what it boils down to is I want my children to feel they have bodily autonomy and can control how and whether other people - especially big powerful people - touch them.

AnaisB · 07/05/2014 20:59

arethere he approaches them and tickles them. The OP has said he does not wait for them to approach him.

Tickling is a sensitive issue for a lot of people - there are loads of threads about people feeling uncomfortable about others tickling their children - especially a stranger doing so.

Ploppy16 · 07/05/2014 20:59

If they injured themselves while you were gabbing with your mate who would you blame? They are 3 years old. Common sense is non existent at this age and it could be that the presence of this man has saved them from hurting themselves.
Have a brew in a cafe with your children, treat th all to cake and a nice drink, have stroll in a local park, anything other than sit there judging this bloke for looking after your kids for you.

AnaisB · 07/05/2014 21:00

Cross post with puddock

arethereanyleftatall · 07/05/2014 21:03

Fair enough anais. I was slightly projecting there for my own rant.

Playingthelonggame · 07/05/2014 21:07

I really don't see the problem.

They are having fun.
You don't want to play with them but you don't want anyone else to play with them ? Confused

I work with small children and tbh they have more personality than most adults I know!

Have you never experienced having a group of small legged, hyped up,screaming, laughing kids chasing you? You should try it Grin

Mumoftwoyoungkids · 07/05/2014 21:14

My dd was a very late walker and has always struggled with physical stuff especially having the confidence to try new things. So I spend a lot of time on soft play equipment trying to encourage her.

11 months ago it got even more "fun" as I now have a 98th centile very very confident (think Kamikaze) baby to lug around too.

Other people's kids always gravitate towards us when we are playing. I don't like other people's children. I have no interest in them. They either bore or annoy me or occassionally both. I have enough to do convincing my dd to slide down the slide while preventing baby ds from throwing himself head first down the slide.

He probably just wants to play with his own children and is now stuck with the others.

If you want to improve "playing together" I suggest a play date at home. If you want a calm environment I suggest anywhere in the world but soft play. If you want soft play but not playing with the bloke I suggest playing with them yourself. If you want a nice coffee and a chat (don't we all!) but no bloke then perhaps go at a different time.

Sillylass79 · 07/05/2014 21:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AnaisB · 07/05/2014 21:18

mum it sounds like your situation is quite different as you do not chase after strangers' children and tickle them.

I would suggest that if the father "just wanted to play with his own children" he would not go after other children to tickle them.

JingletsJangletsYellowBanglets · 07/05/2014 21:21

I play with my child at soft play and inevitably other kids are drawn to me and want to interact with the adult / show me what they can do.

Fucks me off as I'm there to play with my child not with yours as you relax with your mate. News flash - your kid does want you to play with her/him, otherwise he/she wouldn't be drawn to the adult like moth to flipping flame!

VinoTime · 07/05/2014 21:26

I weep for the world I've brought my daughter into sometimes, I really do Sad

Exactly what is it the poor man is doing wrong? Playing with his child? Entertaining everybody else's kids when their parents can't be bothered to make some fun memories with them themselves? I attract children - don't know why! Maybe it's because I act daft and silly and engage in their kind of fun and nonsense. The thought of anyone thinking I'm odd because a child wants to join in with me and dd really, genuinely saddens me.

Stop trying to see the worst in the world and all it's people, and perhaps the world will become a much prettier place...

WorraLiberty · 07/05/2014 21:27

Why would you want your kids to play quietly at soft play OP?

They can still charge around like mad things and burn off all their energy, while playing nicely.