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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want to enjoy a meal in peace without badly behaved children running riot around the restaurant

120 replies

Rhine · 07/05/2014 09:58

Last night I went out for a meal with my mum. It was supposed to be a nice evening out for us, but it was spoiled by a family sat next to us who allowed their two kids to run riot around the entire restaurant. The kids were around about eight or nine, so not little bored toddlers and certainly old enough to know better. The little boy had a toy gun and he was running around pretending to "shoot" his sister, they were obviously getting under the feet of the staff who were trying to work and at no point did either parent or grandparent tell them to stop and behave themselves.

They were running in and out of the restaurant, around the grounds (could see them through the window) then back in again and all round the buidling itself.

I don't mind children being in restaurants, far from it, and there were other families in there who's DC's were behaved implacably. I could hear the family saying it was the mothers birthday and it was obviously a family celebration, but when I go out for a meal I don't want someone else's bad parenting spoiling it. I wasn't allowed to behave like that in public, and I won't allow my DC's to do either.

AIBU to think that people should make their children behave in places like that?

OP posts:
WhenSheWasBadSheWasHorrid · 07/05/2014 10:09

Those kids do sound annoying. What time were you out at - if you expected peace and quiet at 5.30pm you are not going to get it.

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 07/05/2014 10:10

Well, of course they should but sometimes it's just as irksome to hear parents continuously chastising their children as it is to listen to the kids running riot.

I solve this problem by not going anywhere near somewhere that might be considered a "family restaurant". Carvery-type places on the weekends are by far the worst.

LittleMisslikestobebythesea · 07/05/2014 10:11

It shouldn't matter what time it is, kids shouldn't be running round restaurants.

I work in a cafe and the amount of parents that let their kids run round is unbelievable, especially as there is hot food and drinks being carried around.

Original poster
Rhine · 07/05/2014 10:12

It was 7.30pm and not a cheapy place either. Not that it should matter, I don't think it matters what time it is. Aside from the fact that is not fair on other diners, especially the ones who control their kids it's also dangerous when hot foot is being carried around.

OP posts:
CocktailQueen · 07/05/2014 10:12

YANBU! Whatever type of restaurant you are in, and whatever time, that is completely inappropriate behaviour from kids that age.

Nancy66 · 07/05/2014 10:12

No YANBU but there are plenty of non-child friendly places to choose from if you don't want kids around.

The restaurant staff should have spoken to the parents in this case

DoJo · 07/05/2014 10:12

YANBU, but did you ask to be moved away from them?

Original poster
Rhine · 07/05/2014 10:15

Where did I say I didn't want kids around? There were other families in there with kids who were sitting nicely, why is it so difficult for other people go control their children? In this instance the parents in question were too busy getting pissed.

OP posts:
EyelinerQueen · 07/05/2014 10:17

YANBU.

Until last Summer I had the misfortune to work in a very twatty trendy pub with a big beer garden that was full of middle class customers and their children. I've never seen such shit parenting and badly behaved kids in all my life.

All the little Milos and Amelias were allowed to run anywhere and everywhere bothering both the other customers and staff while the parents ignored them and quaffed Prosecco and craft ale with their friends.

The last straw for me was seeing a Dad take his child (about 3 years old)to the edge of the garden and helped him pull his shorts and pants down where he proceeded to curl out a gigantic turd. IN PLAIN SIGHT of everyone else Shock.

Original poster
Rhine · 07/05/2014 10:21

EylinerQueen that's disgusting. Presumably you had toilets on the premises?

OP posts:
Gurnie · 07/05/2014 10:22

Yanbu. That's really selfish, inconsiderate behaviour on the part of the parents. I find that sort of thing nerve jangling and it can completely ruin a night out, I agree.

mismylinford · 07/05/2014 10:24

YANBU
Children should behave in restaurants and cafes its very dangerous for them to be running around. When i was a waitress i fell over a child crawling along the floor (army style) i didn't see him as i had a large tray of hot drinks and he was right infront of the exit to the bar. Drinks went everywhere lucky not on anyone and i managed to not land on the child. The parents of the child didn't even come running over just stay sat and called him back.

Summerbreezing · 07/05/2014 10:29

YANBU. Some parents are incredibly rude and inconsiderate in restaurants, including the ones that don't take loudly crying babies outside so that they're not disturbing other diners.

KnittedJimmyChoos · 07/05/2014 10:39

I think bad parenting is something that transends class.

I however have never ever been anywhere where someone elses child has been causing issues....

including the ones that don't take loudly crying babies outside so that they're not disturbing other diners

I agree however brits are notably totally interolterant of children too. Most parents do not particulary like crying and screaming children!

Summerbreezing · 07/05/2014 10:42

"I however have never ever been anywhere where someone elses child has been causing issues..."

You're very fortunate. I totally recognised the OP's scenario and have seen it many times. I wouldn't say British people are more intolerant of children in restaurants than other nationalities. In fact a lot of continentals would be shocked at the way British (and Irish) children are allowed to behave in restaurants.

Fleta · 07/05/2014 10:44

if you expected peace and quiet at 5.30pm you are not going to get it

It doesn't matter what the time is, parents should prevent their children from running around restaurants.

OP YANBU - you shouldn't have to choose where you eat around people who refuse to discipline their brats

Nummer · 07/05/2014 10:46

YANBU. I always explained this toe my children in terms of whether places are "running places" or not. Parks, grass, playgrounds, sports halls etc vs busy roads, supermarkets, restaurants etc. Not hard to understand, surely?

Children do however get bored once they have finished eating and might need something to occupy them - colouring, books, ipads etc. Also not hard to organise!

There was a kid running full pelt and shrieking in the supermarket yesterday. He zoomed past me several times and then inevitably crashed into my trolley as I turned the corner. I got evil glares from the parents as they dried his tears.

angelos02 · 07/05/2014 10:46

YANBU. If children haven't been taught how to behave in a restaurant, they shouldn't be there. They certainly shouldn't be leaving the table (apart from toilet breaks obviously).

Nummer · 07/05/2014 10:49

I do sometimes let my dcs leave the table, depending on the venue. In a pub/beer garden I don't see a problem with them walking around, but never running. They sometimes have tv areas and they go between the table and the tv. But only if I give them permission and equally they are capable of staying at a table the whole time! Why is that so difficult? They try the foods, we chat etc etc.

glammanana · 07/05/2014 10:49

You are certainly NBU and I would have asked to be moved,some parents do tend to think that restaurants are play areas and the staff are unpaid childminders of some sort,I am surprised the manager did not say something to the parents,I have in the past taken all 6 of my DGCs out to eat and they behave properly at the table and respect other people something that seemed to be lacking in this instance.

EyelinerQueen · 07/05/2014 10:52

Yes OP - the toilets were inside. Too much effort apparently Hmm.

I totally agree with you Nummer. When we go out DD takes a rucksack containing books, crayons, activity books and her Nintendo DS. She will happily and quietly amuse herself while the grown-ups finish up their food and drinks. She has done so since she was 3.

There is just no excuse for shittily behaved kids.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 10:56

I would have asked the staff to have a word with the parents. How disgraceful for children to be permitted to behave in such a way. Eating out is a very good way of actually teaching children to behave appropriately in a public eating place, actually. These parents who allow their children to run riot are just being lazy.

As a parent, I obviously welcome child-friendly places, but bad behaviour is quite another thing.

So no, you are not being unreasonable at all.

Lottapianos · 07/05/2014 10:56

No excuse for this whatsoever. And I agree with other posters that the time of day is irrelevant.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 07/05/2014 10:56

Eyeliner - that is appalling. Yeuch!!

Morgause · 07/05/2014 10:58

I was delighted to be present a few years ago when a landlord threw out an entire family when the parents refused to address the children's behaviour, despite being asked several times.

They were half way through their meals, although the children were throwing/spreading more than they were eating, and the landlord/owner threw and envelope containing a refund onto the table (4 adults 5 children) and told them to get the hell out.

He received a round of applause from the other diners.

From the time they entered the children were a total nightmare, running around and under tables where others were sitting, climbing over furniture and getting in the way of the serving staff. The parents just carried on drinking and ignored them. When they were asked to control the children they half-heartedly called their names a couple of times then just carried on chatting and drinking. The only time they told them off properly was when they played too near to them.

I wish more owners would do the same.