To wonder if a lot of people who are Christians have had a rather nice life?

[stilllivingbythesea14]

I know I phrased that clumsily but I know a few Christians. They are nice people but very devout and pretty much always have been.

They are all white, middle class, privately educated, university graduates, plenty of money, nice jobs, one SAHM.

It must be easier to have faith in God if you've had a nice life?

I'd like to believe but I'm not sure I can.

LRD most AA meetings have an open meeting about once a month when interested visitors or friends and family of AA members can sit in. The church won't "run" AA meetings as AA is totally independent, but many churches offer their premises for free which is greatly appreciated by AA.

Personally I've found it is much harder to stay faithful when things are going well in life - it can be too easy to get caught up in success, forget its not all of your own making, and to get too busy to attend or help others. When things are tough, in contrast, we instinctively reach out.

If the Christians you know are from CU at university then I suspect that has a lot more to do with them being middle class/ white/ stable home backgrounds than anything else.

The Christians I know stay faithful to God through massive challlenges - cancer, bereavement, disability, fainancial troubles, relationship breakdown....I have often thought how amazing they are to cope with all that and to an outsider still be 'together' Some of them have come to faith as a result of these issues, others have had a lifelong faith which the issues have not destroyed.
Of course it may just be that I know more of their stories than I would with the man on the street, and that they have no more crap to deal with than anyone else. I do think to imply that you can only be aChristian if your life is and has always gone swimmingly is pretty naive, even without widening your view outside university acquaintances. lets ignore the rest of the world completely, huh?

If you were to take an overall observation of the people who attend my local church in Surrey, you might come to the same conclusion as the OP. Of course, being comfortable economically does not protect against misfortune or pain. I don't think the OP is offensive or a bigot. Quite offensive to say she is in my opinion.

I am sure Jesus would be quite happy to answer her questions without getting all huffy. Yes WWJD?

This sounds a bit too much like the rich Jews one. Did you take your inspiration from that unfortunate thread OP?

I'm a Christian and know a lot of other Christians. Some have been very rich, some middle class and comfortable and many have been as poor as the proverbial church mouse. Many Christians give away 10% of their income. That tends to make them slightly less well of I think.

No I haven't even seen that thread to be honest.

I wish Mumsnet would delete this.

I expected to be told I was bu - fine, it is am I being unreasonable after all, but honestly I didn't expect people to get so offended and angry and insulting. After all, as I've said, I didn't say all or even most. I suppose I was clumsily trying to explore why I lost my faith when none of my university friends/ people I knew from church afterwards have. My life is still a mess. I wanted to end it last night (I wouldn't don't worry I'm just saying where I was really) but I knew I wouldn't because I am frightened of going to Hell. That made me think I must still have a glimmer of faith. Then I tried to pray but I couldn't. So I tried to picture Christians I knew and wonder how they would pray but I couldn't draw a comparison. So I started the thread.

So that's where I was/am, I'm certainly not going to kill myself, but don't think I'm going to pray either, as I can't. So I don't know where that leaves me - Christian or not!

So as I've said, as i keep saying, no offence intended and thank you for the posters who recognised that even if they didn't agree with my OP. I am somewhere where kindness is extremely important.

I find that the people who believe in God and live their life by superstition and make believe tend to do so because they are flawed in some way. usually due to crappy things happening to them, or because of indoctrination by parents or sometimes simply because they are just not very bright so still believe in it in the same way that children believe in father Christmas / fairies.

Middle class CofE here.

I have had some bad times, probably worse than some and better than others. Over time, my faith has changed depending on my life circumstances. In bad times it has been a great comfort to me. Yep, I'm sure like many others, I've used religion to get me though. That's kind of the point of it

stillliving

I'm sorry you're in a bad way. FWIW, I find it hard to pray too. I don't imagine God as some big invisible person by my side, and my faith isn't something I believe do much as something I do. It allows me space to contemplate, reassure myself, make decisions. I don't worry f I cant pray. I'll read Love III by John Donne instead. Sounds daft, I know, but there it is.

Thanks, Toad.

I am pleased your faith helped you when things were bad x

OP - I'm sorry you are in "pain". I hope you feel happier as the weekend passes. Perhaps you should start a thread outside aibu about why you are feeling so unhappy so that you might receive some support for how you really are rather than hanging your hat on the wrong hook.

I hope you feel happier soon.

oh stillliving your post made me sad.

I am a pretty faithless heathen and I don't think I'm going to hell - I'm pretty sure you're not either.

I hope things are better for you today.

Thank you :) I could but I think I'd just dwell on everything and get more upset, easier to freeze it out for now you know?

I'm a white, degree educated Christian. I'm also a church children's worker on an estate in the bottom 2% of poverty in the country.

For many people I work with, they will express that God is the main "constant" in their lives, especially as lives can be pretty chaotic with housing/family/money problems.

Maybe visit a church on an outer estate or inner city and see if you feel the same.

stillliving I am sorry things are so tough for you and your frustration has brought more upset to you.
I'm a Christian and more robust than to be offended by this thread. I think perhaps the issue is that those of us fortunate enough to go to University, then to work, live in areas with people the same. And being nice, white and middle class, people may struggle to be open with their struggles and honestly share with each other.

However I was at a Christian day conference recently where there was prayer ministry for those having suicidal thoughts. The leader asked the rest of the auditorium to stand who had previously had suicidal thoughts, come through that time and recovered/ been healed (depending on your brand of church!) There were a couple of thousand women.

So where you are is excruciatingly painful and dark, but it's not anything you have done wrong and it's probably somewhere that so many women in the church, if you went back there, would have been and would understand. I pray things get better for you. Happy to talk via pm (I was just 1 of those 2 thousand women).

I hope you find a better place of peace soon, Stillliving.

FWIW I'm Christian, and on the outside, I might look like I have a nice life - stable family background, university educated, children, decent house etc. I took the online 'check your privilege' test which told me I'm 61% privileged! :)

But if you knew me even a little you'd realise that that's part of who I am - there is some really dark stuff in there too. For me one of my favourite Bible verses is from the Psalms; 'darkness and light are the same to you.' I believe that God is with us in the dark places as well as in the light ones.

So people really believe inthis stuff or isit just for the social side? I really find it hard to believe that grown ups believe in ot. At what point do they realise fsthrr christmas is made up but they continue to believe ingod?
And the pope miracle thing. Really? People really believe they performed miracles?

I describe myself as Christian but am more spiritual in that I believe in a higher power but have no conception of what that is.

Had an abusive childhood and very difficult times during adulthood. I find going to church very peaceful....for me it's about coming together with others who have spiritual leanings and joining together in prayer.

I have a very warped view of the higher power...I feel it is combined human spirit and that we can tap into this as a positive energy.....very woo I know but that's just me

Just to add in response to the Christian union stuff - I didn't attend my Christian union because I didn't feel I would fit in (non Christian parents, insecure self harming 18 year old, shitty upbringing).

Ime many students who attend cu see it as a really important way of meeting together and carrying on fellowship in the same way they did as the youth of their church. There are also many many Christians at university who don't go I imagine.

Adsy, I think for me if you tried to complain the complexities of human language, of different countries, different intonations, accent, regional dialect, non verbal expression, accent change, they wouldn't get it.

Some animals, like dogs for example, get to know the meaning of some of our basic words like 'sit' but they'd never really understand.

We don't understand God. We just can't, it's beyond our comprehension, but doesn't mean he doesn't exist.

I'm not really trying to persuade you as I'm not sure I do either, but that's how I feel it is.

Adsy,

I sometimes have my doubts about the existence of God, but I simply know that Father Christmas is real. After all, who drinks the sherry and eats the mince pies?

stillliving I'm so sorry to hear you are feeling this way. I think most people who responded did so from the viewpoint of trying to defend themselves or Christians they knew but in mo way thinking you were being offensive. If you want to discuss it more in a safe place you are welcome over on the prayer or chat threads on the philosophy and religion board (can't do links as on phone) - all welcome of faith or not.

I'm so sad you're hurting. But actually I've found your thread encouraging, to hear of Christians living in brokenness and holding to faith, not out of desperation, superstition or lower intellect but because they have found that faith works. And that's what I have found again and again.

Thinking of you op. Feel free to PM if you want to talk off board. I've all the time in the world sat in hospital.

Oh bless you mad I so hope you get better soon. Your offer has really touched me, I have to say that if I was struggling to hold on to Christianity, getting angry and insulting responses really made me doubt the concept even more but your offer has encouraged me to find peace if not faith (yet), I hope that will come later.

Oh stillliving. One step at a time. Would you like us to pray for you? It's easier to be prayed for, than to pray, sometimes.

I do hope you find some peace soon. Take it slowly and easy on yourself.

When I was younger, I went to CU and also went to the sort of churches that CU's tend to be associated with, ie, lots of ministry time, emotional songs and so on. Nothing wrong with it, but after a while, it just wasn't right for me. I ended up at a far more trad church, and found that the old-fashioned service, requiring a less emotional, more contemplative approach was what I needed.

I suspect a lot of people in my situation stop going ro church, thinking they have lost their faith, not realizing that Christianity has always had many forms of expression.