to think that if you drop a child off at their home you wait to see if they've got in the front door?

[ChaosTrulyReigns]

It's only coutreoud isn't it?

Someone was due to drop off DD3 at 7.30pm, bit decided to come apporx 30 mins earlier.

And just dropped and drive off.

We were all in the back garden so couldn't hear the door bring knocked.

Ever the resourceful one, after knocking for a while, she climbed over the dude gate and joined us. To our looks of wtaf have you just come from?

Ffs.

Should I say anything or leave it? Im inclined to leave it btw as am quite non confrontational. But am saddened that she could've been hanging around on the drive fir 30mins.

Why didnt your dd have keys?

Years ago my DD (age 11) was dropped off at the roundabout as it would have taken her friend's parents "out of the way" to drive 200 yards to my house - at 9pm on a dark night in December.

Their rush? To get to Asda. DD rang me once out of the car and said could DP walk down to collect her as she didn't want to walk past the pub alone as there was a group of men outside smoking and she was scared.

I hit the roof and never ever allowed their parents to be responsible for her getting home again. Couldn't stop their friendship, not the friend's fault but the parents.

Revengeofthechocolatebunny that's terrible, I would have been fuming too I hope you had a few choice words. Disgrace that people do this, especially in this day and age.

She hasn't got keys because she's 11 abd doesn't need them.

She'll get them in September when she goes to Secondary School.

YANBU, OP.

When I lived in London, when travelling alone, taxi drivers would always wait until they had seen me go in the front door before taking off.

While your "dropper" wasn't professional, common-sense should have kicked in.

I get out of the car, carry their stuff in and provide a verbal handover.Have always done it but according to DD it's a bit embarrassing now. I don't care though.

I would always wait if dropping off a child at that age. They should have been particularly careful to do so given they were dropping her off half an hour early. Supposing you'd been out at the shops or gone in next door or something?
It was stupid and careless of them.

I would 99% of the time even at age 13 make sure they went in the door.

Only exception was a friend who lived on a major busy, narrow road. I dropped and checked her mum was expecting her. Friend said yes so I drove off as there was a big queue of cars behind me.

I would be expecting an 11 year old to be getting themself home from visiting friends without a lift.

What is the worst that could happen, an 11 year sitting on the doorstep waiting for her parents. I don't think thats something to worry about.

I would think it's time for a key if your concerned.

Where did I say she was visiting friends?

She doesn't have a key because she dorsn't need one.

Great big Sigh

Chaos

&

Cheers, dude.

I make sure adults get I the house before I drive off, lol. I'd certainly never drive off without checking with a child.

YANBU

At 11 I would have presumed she had a key. And assuming she was averagely competent and savvy for her age I wouldn't think dropping and running was bad unless there was some question about whether or not she could get in - and I would expect her to voice that.

I dislike it when people who drop me wait for me to go in the house. Feels like I'm being scrutinized and checked up on, especially with taxi drivers and ILs!

I think there's a difference between an 11 year old in last year of primary and an 11 year old who has been at secondary for a couple of terms.

Also I'd never "assume" an 11 year old had a key, I'd ask.

If I were dropping a child off earlier than arranged I would call to make sure someone would be home. Same goes for running late.

I also wait for an adult or child to get in the house before driving off.

math

definitely.
again, common courtesy and just a normal caring attitude

Very difficult at our house as the doors riund the corner.

I have found a 12y DD2 on the doorstep (fortunately only for 10 minutes), because DD1 had headphones on and didn't hear the bell.

"I would be expecting an 11 year old to be getting themself home from visiting friends without a lift."

You are making a lot of assumptions there. Only one of DD's friends lives within walking distance and the others don't live on a bus route, so it's a lift or nothing. We live rurally BTW.

she's 11!!!! I thought you must be talking about a 6 yr old! 2 cars in the drive they would have assumed you were in.I am sure an 11 yr old should be capable of coping with this situation.Lots of children of 9,10,11 wlak themselves home from school! Why do we insist on infantilising our children?

LOL if you can't infantilise children, who can you infantilise?

An 11 year old isn't an infant!!

Yes, but it just made me laugh.

"Lots of children of 9,10,11 wlak themselves home from school! Why do we insist on infantilising our children?"

You are completely missing the point. DD comes home from school on her own. She has a key and can let herself in. She knows which days there will be someone at home and which days there won't.

The parents in question just dropped the girl off, half an hour early, and just assumed there would be someone at home. You are assuming that all 11 year olds have their own key and are mature and sensible.

There are too many assumptions on this thread (and in this post )