Nursery went home and left dd!

[lookingfortheanswer]

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

but talkinpeaceeverything the OP has posted here are her experiences. Nothing is hearsay

I would urge the OP to name and shame but SM is right about it possibly interfering with any investigation so it is best to wait until this has been carried out. As I said previously, I was extremely grateful to the mother that told the press about the incident where a local nursery lost her son as it is very close to me and was on my list of ones to visit.

ninaprettyballerina
The only people who know what actually happened are the members of staff who walked out the door locking OPs DD in.
All else is speculation.

I believe OPs version of events : she sounds far more measured than most posters.
But she does NOT know what the breakdowns in system were that caused her DD to be left alone in the building.

Until Ofsted and the LEA have reviewed and interviewed, all identifiable comment is potentially defamatory.

but OP had no experience of the event. She has experience of the aftermath.
She does indeed - the event includes her arrival at the nursery to find it closed, her recovery of her child, and her interactions with the nursery and other entities since. She can report on all of this. She can also speak to her previous relationship with the nursery.

And taping her conversations with the nursery is not illegal (she should be making them aware that they are being recorded), and "inadmissible" doesn't even apply here.

Surely, saying (or writing) "I arrived at dd's Nursery and the lights were out and my daughter was found alone in the building in the dark" is a statement of fact that can't be argued with.
Saying "the Nursery staff acted negligently by buggering off home early and abandoning my child" is slightly different.

OP the press will come to you I can bet on that. I would ask the nursery to be open via a letter with the other parents. And argue that if they don't the press will get involved. I'd avoid dealing with the press tbh. This was a MASSIVE mistake. But the press would turn it into a national scandal. And use it against all nurseries and create paranoia.

I'm really sorry you had to go through this. I am a mother of two bolters at nursery and it is a nightmare come true.

And once again I agree with scottishmummy with her advice. Sorry sm I know you hate that :)

The investigation needs to proceed at good pace,with no distraction, no media
To resolve in timely manner
With no intrusion from media or other distractions

People were going on about immediate police involvement ,i see police declined involvement at this time

People suggested calling the police, calling the police does not, as some people think automatically activate robotic policemen knocking on someones door.

Calling the police and asking their advice is always a good think in these circs, rather than decideing ones self what and what isnt worth police involment as though a very call will automacitcally trigger szomehing off.

And use it against all nurseries and create paranoia

And what would be the result of the press getting hold of this?

I would say that every nursery shit themselves and gets onto their signing out policies and make doubly sure all children are safe.

There needs to be order and ability to not be distracted by press distraction

There needs to be transparency above all else.

Most nurseries already do that. And I am sure many nurseries are aware of this thread and are thanking their lucky stars it wasn't them.

I think OP has handled this well. But the press will contact her. Might even pay her to spill all. And that might not be the right way to go.

To be fair, if something like this happens in your personal life you DO post it to Facebook - same as you ring your best friend, mum, whoever, just to talk it through and ease the shock. There's nothing wrong with that. It's certainly not an action constrained by the law (yet).

I might have recommended contacting the local media if no action was being taken, however there seems to have been a good response from the LEA and Ofsted so the matter will be dealt with.

Gobbolino
but as we have NO IDEA what caused the failing that would be utter knee jerk
rather than addressing the actual issues

wait and see and let the information be produced.

I get frustrated on these types of forums when conflicting legal advice is given.
How is the op supposed to know what to do?

As far as I am aware, no one on here is in the legal profession.

op, you may want to ask the legal board on here for advice.

You're only guilty of libel/defamation/slander if you're telling lies.

If you were formally instructed by the police or a judge not to discuss a something, you'd have to comply. You may be risking legal action if you discuss a case that's under criminal trial.

But of course you can talk about stuff that's happened in your daily life - why ever not? It's hard enough to maintain free expression as things stand, without people trying to put the frighteners on posters to a chat board!

You're only guilty of libel/defamation/slander if you're telling lies
that is not what the legal threat against myself and others through MNHQ said

THe point is :
surely it is better to constructively learn from this - at the original nursery and every other one
rather than vilify people so the findings are hidden away from scrutiny

That is what I thought.
I do think that some of the legal advice that is given out to posters, by other mumsnetters who are not legally trained, or not trained in the appropriate branch of the appropriate legal system, can be quite inaccurate. [not counting advice given out on the legal board, that is likely to be correct on the whole I would have thought. And anything that is not, is likely corrected by others there].

My reply is to Garlic's post.

I wouldn't want it in the paper

Don't forget that Op escaped a DV and the pare could lead this man back to her

I'm not advising the OP to do or not do anything-she knows what is going on, we don't. Advice on here is pointless when we don't know all the facts.

However, it is important to say that, as long as the OP stuck only to the basic fact that her daughter was left behind when the nursery was closed for the evening, with reasonable related comment, and did not madly embellish (e.g. to allege Satanic abuse) a defamation action is not a realistic prospect and certainly would not succeed if brought. The thing speaks for itself: these people left a two year old locked in the building when they left. That's negligent and incompetent and dangerous. OP would have a complete defence of honest opinion and truth if she said as much.

If the nursery doesn't want to tell the parents about this incident, God knows what has been happening behind closing doors and no one in the 'outiside' is aware of...