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AIBU?

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See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Nursery went home and left dd!

999 replies

lookingfortheanswer · 28/04/2014 18:36

Posting here for traffic, I don't have an aibu.

Went to pick up dd from nursery this afternoon and found the whole place locked up and nobody there. After frantically calling, banging on doors, checking nobody else had picked her up we managed to contact the neighbouring school. The staff who were still there were amazing, helped us to get into the building where we found dd on the toilet, on her own, lights off and doors closed, staff gone home. It took us half an hour to get in so she was there at least that long. She was obviously very upset but is now home and fine and drinking lemonade as a treat while I try to stop shaking.

Obviously this is a huge safeguarding issue and there is no way she is going back. The head of the neighbouring school has been in touch and is organising a meeting for the morning.

Any advice on where to go from here, who to complain to? Should we get legal advice? I am so so angry!

OP posts:
Feenie · 29/04/2014 17:48

BubbleButt MNHQ have already said it is true

That isn't what MNHQ said.

kelda · 29/04/2014 17:51

I've heard of children being left on buses/ forgotton at the swimming pool/ and even the wrong child being brought back by the school from a trip.

My children's creche would close as soon as the last child went home, although to be honest, that was mostly well past the official closing time.

I believed the OP immediately and have every sympathy. I think you are handling it very well.

troubleinstore · 29/04/2014 17:52

I do think that the nursery should approach all the other parents and let them know what has gone on - and let them decide what to do. Unfortunately it is not easy to find another nursery 'just like that'.

As others have said the nursery will be the most vigilant one in the area - especially with a 'visitor' for the next few weeks checking up on them.

Personally over the next few weeks I would be thinking if it was my child who also attended, what would be more detremental to my child? removing them altogether and moved to a place children they don't know and adults they've never met? - or keeping them where they are, with the same surroundings and friends with a new 'watchful eye'. Just until the outcome of an investigation.

Whatever you decide OP - hope you're not having nightmares and you little one is not traumatised at all.

I hope the outcome is good not for you - but helps other nurseries learn procedures and maybe a new National Nursery Guideline Code of Practice book could be ritten that has to be followed - to ensure this never happens again.

JodieGarberJacob · 29/04/2014 17:53

Unfortunately mintyy the apps don't allow that, although we have asked! It's very annoying having to swipe a hundred times carefully looking for the op's posts!

LEMmingaround · 29/04/2014 17:53

Minty - i have it highlighted, but was just interested in what happenedd an didn't want to have to wade through all the bunfighting (im on a diet - it would be torture!)

2rebecca · 29/04/2014 17:55

Were you otherwise unhappy with the nursery? If my child was happy there and had friends and this was the first incident then as far as checking no children are in the building and having a register of who has been picked up this nursery should now be shit hot after that scare. Is another nursery going to be perfect and never make mistakes? people screw up sometimes. I'd be angry but if I felt they were dealing with it appropriately I'm not sure I'd change as my kids both went to the feeder nurseries for their school and loved it there.

troubleinstore · 29/04/2014 17:55

my last sentence was was meant to read:

I hope the outcome is good not only for you - but helps other nurseries learn procedures and maybe a new National Nursery Guideline Code of Practice book could be written that has to be followed - to ensure this never happens again.

IWillOnlyEatBeans · 29/04/2014 18:02

I was lurking on this thread last night while feeding DS2.

OP I hope you, your DP and DD are all feeling ok this evening. Are you satisfied with the outcome from the meeting?

Sending you some Thanks and Wine

BomChickaMeowMeow · 29/04/2014 18:03

Some really daft posts on here. The numpties have surpassed themselves.

OooOooTheMonkey · 29/04/2014 18:07

OP glad the ball seems to be rolling WRT the nursery being monitored and OFSTED becoming involved.

I think if it were me I would inform at least the local press. Possibly the Daily Mail too but without sad face photo? It's disgusting that they aren't informing other parents of such a massive safeguarding issue.

Good luck.

BiscuitCrumb · 29/04/2014 18:11

Thanks for the update OP. If I was the parent of a child in your nursery I would want to know this happened but can also see why they don't inform other parents until an 'investigation' has taken place. So worrying that this could happen.

clam · 29/04/2014 18:14

I know the OP updated this afternoon, but did I miss where she actually said what the Nursery's excuse explanation for this was?

Just pondering a scenario whereby the OP had arrived a few minutes earlier and maybe met the last leaving staff member in the carpark. What on earth would that conversation have been like?
OP: Oh! Where's dd then?
Staff: Shock Shiiiiiiiiiiiit!!

Forgettable · 29/04/2014 18:19

Hi clam

no, the detail of what explanation given by nursery hasn't been disclosed here

ILickPicnMix · 29/04/2014 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

CheerfulYank · 29/04/2014 18:57

Aero yes, we absolutely would check the rooms. But at the end of the day kids were getting picked up very quickly or handed off to other staff, often staff who were not the child's personal teacher.

Obviously I knew my own group of children very well and would say "I haven't seen Jack's mom, where's Jack" or whatever, but often at the end of the day the child would be with other staff so it's possible for one to be missed especially I'd they slipped into the bathroom or fell asleep, as the little ones often would.

I was paranoid about this and counted heads constantly, but not everyone did.

It's very scary, and VERY possible.

CheerfulYank · 29/04/2014 19:01

And also I made a point to speak to each parent at pick up time regardless if their child was one of "mine" or not...just "oh Ellie's been playing with the dollhouse, she loves it! Have a nice night!" Or any inane thing so they felt like I knew their kid and was paying attention. But again not everyone did and it got really busy around 5-6 pm.

MrsCaptainReynolds · 29/04/2014 19:03

I'd really want to know about this event, and the nursery's plan of action if this happened at my son's nursery.

OP, do they have a facebook group page or something where parents can communicate with each other? Might be better than national press?

littlejackiepaper · 29/04/2014 19:09

Fucking hell!

This is one of my (many) nightmares!!!

I have an 18-month-old daughter who is such a danger mouse and extremely climby

She can barely be left for a minute without somehow managing to climb precariouosly onto the table or try to pull herself up on the kitchen bench

If she was left unattended for at least 30 minutes - god, I hate to think what might have happened

Expecially if the toilet seats don't have safety clips

A young child, may she rest in peace, died recently playing hide and seek and got caught in the blinds

And she was in her own home playing with her sibling.

There is no excuse for the nursery staff to have left without thoroughly checking every room/space

ShakesBootyFlabWobbles · 29/04/2014 19:10

OP hope the meeting with the nursery went as well as it could in the circumstances.

In our case, we decided not to sue or go to the papers, we didn't want added stress to a stressful situation and our daughter was OK, thank goodness. The nursery disclosed full details of the events which they could have quite easily covered up, showed us the overhaul of the lunchtime procedures with two additional registers being taken so that this incident could not happen again. Up to that point I hadn't had any reason to doubt the capability of the staff or the high standard of care. It did appear that a genuine accident had occurred and it had been officially logged in the nursery's records that would be disclosed to Ofsted. However, you can only decide the best course of action on a case by case basis.

Several years on and there is no effect on our daughter, I am not sure she even remembers it. I hope that is the same for your daughter OP Thanks

TheOneWithTheHair · 29/04/2014 19:16

Thanks for updating op.

If imagine that the nursery wouldn't have had time to question all the staff before this morning's meeting so may not have been able to give an explanation.

GobbolinoCat · 29/04/2014 19:28

I would expect a letter to all parents from nursery to say whats happened and what will happen next and what they are doing to stop it happening again.,

insancerre · 29/04/2014 19:29

I work I'm a nursery and believe this could happen
A local outstanding nursery had an inspection and was downgraded after they left an older chd in the playground instead pg taking her to school
The reason for the inspection was made very clear on the report
This thread has made me look at our closing policy
Hope your dd is OK

LegoSuperstar · 29/04/2014 19:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scottishmummy · 29/04/2014 19:36

I hope youre okay,op.youll churn this over in own mind a lot.whos supporting you?
Yes as expected the police wont get involved unless local authority request
The LA will keep you infomed of progress

racmun · 29/04/2014 19:36

Op this is awful and I feel very sorry got you. I believed you from the beginning.

If I was another parent at the nursery I would want to know. Personally I think the parents should be told whether by you or the authorities and they can decide for themselves. Its clear the authorities aren't going to do this though. I don't think I would go to the paper, of course it may end up there.

There was a thread on here a while back about a child that escaped from nursery and had crossed roads etc and was taken back by another parent!!

It seems to me in these 2 instances it is more by luck that something terrible didn't happen (thank god) to the children involved.

What annoys me is that if something dreadful had happened what then? An investigation, letters of apology which isn't good enough.

Please let the other patents know