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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think I might have overreacted re small children on train

145 replies

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 20:52

Was on v crowded train out of London this afternoon and had to put two small DCs in corridor - one fell asleep in pile of coats/bags, the other sat on the floor but was in danger of getting squashed/stood on by people and lugguage. I got a bit grumpy about the whole thing. The conducter I stopped to complain to said we should have reserved seats. When we explained there were no options for reservations when we booked online, he told us that usually meant there was no room/seats left on the train and a ticket only gave us entitlement to travel not a seat.

WIBU to expect there to be at least two seats on a Sunday where we could have sat with DCs on our laps and to get a bit cross about the overcrowded conditions and think it's not good enough? At the very least, there could have been a warning on the booking system so we understood we'd be running a risk of having to stand for an hour with two worn out children? If we'd known, we would have tried to book a different train or another day, or driven/gone by coach.

Or should I have sucked it up? Plenty of other people were standing and sitting in the corridor and I'm sure they were as hot, tired and fed up as us. Thing is, littlest is only 3 and he was shattered.

OP posts:
blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 20:53

Should add, about halfway home we did eventually get two seats once some people had left the train but there will still loads of people standing.

OP posts:
superram · 27/04/2014 20:55

I would never travel with my children without a reservation-especially not on a Sunday. I travel a minimum of 3 hours though.
Do you mean a local train service to say twickenham?

ihatethecold · 27/04/2014 20:55

You are having a laugh aren't you?
I have kids but that doesn't mean they have to have seats.

This is unfortunately what it's like getting on a train these days.
Get to the platform the second the platform is announced. You might have a fighting chance to grab some seats then.

MooncupMadness · 27/04/2014 20:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

annielouise · 27/04/2014 20:57

If you'd got on the train early you should have grabbed two seats that were reserved but reserved maybe for a few stops up. I don't know why but every time I've been on a train loads of seats are reserved but not everyone turns up - maybe they just grab the first seat they see. At the worst you would have been turfed out. Agree with you how stressful it is when it's that busy.

VivaLeBeaver · 27/04/2014 20:57

Sunday trains out of London are normally heaving. Its normally standing room only on east coast line trains unless you've reserved a seat.

Molotov · 27/04/2014 20:58

YANBU to expect a clear explanation of the high liklihood of no seating on the website when booking.

YABU to have perhaps expected an exception to be made on the train today. I would have gladly given up my seat for your little ones to sit in, but a lot of people wouldn't understand, or particularly care.

Sounds like you had a hard day. You've learned from experience - one to put under your belt, maybe? Hope you and your children have a better day tomorrow Smile

BellaVita · 27/04/2014 20:58

YABVU.

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 27/04/2014 20:59

I don't think ywu. Sounds horrendous. If I was travelling without DC I would have offered whichever grown up had charge of the 3 year old a seat.

Train travel is vvvvvv expensive, especially given the all too often crap service.

SirChenjin · 27/04/2014 20:59

Only a reservation guarantees a seat unfortunately...it's a bugger, but just one of those things unfortunately. It's a shame no-one thought to offer your DC a seat.

SauvignonBlanche · 27/04/2014 21:01

Sorry but YWBU, Sundays are always hellish.

EverythingCounts · 27/04/2014 21:01

Sadly that is a busy time so you do run that risk. If I'd been travelling along though I'd have offered my seat to a person with a tired-looking child, but you can't exactly make people do that. Perfectly reasonable to make nests for them on the floor in that case.

CrohnicallyHungry · 27/04/2014 21:01

YANBU in that they should warn you, perhaps sell the ticket as 'standing only' and if you get a seat it's a bonus? The last time I travelled on the train would have been 2000 ish, so I wouldn't have had a clue how the reservations work either and could easily have been caught out too.

exexpat · 27/04/2014 21:03

It would definitely be a good idea if booking websites flagged up the fact that the train was fully booked before letting you buy tickets - maybe you should write to the company and suggest it? At least that would give you a chance to try earlier/later trains to see if you could get a seat.

Though when trains are really crowded, sometimes even having a reservation doesn't help - before now I have had to abandon the attempt to board a train at Paddington on a Friday evening with two DCs and luggage, even though we had seat reservations, just because we could not physically get on the train because the lobby and corridor were jam-packed with people.

MagicMojito · 27/04/2014 21:03

Yanbu! Train tickets are so expensive nowadays. I actually find it disgusting that they are allowed to keep increaseing the price all the time, but not improve the service. Prahaps yabu to be surprised by it, but ya most defenetly nu to be disgusted by it

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:04

Wow, I was genuinly surprised. It was an hour's journey, first time we'd taken them so far. I really didn't realise how busy it would be. I've travelled in and out of London in rush hour for work a few times, but don't go often. Maybe should have done better homework before we went.

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EndoplasmicReticulum · 27/04/2014 21:05

Booking seats is no guarantee, either, as often when I travel the train has been late or cancelled and then reservations do not apply. Recent trip back from London we were sitting on the floor by the toilets, we had booked seats but the train they were on no longer existed.

However, you would think that the train companies, realising that EVERY single Sunday pm the trains are packed and people are standing, might bung on a couple more carriages or even run an extra service? Or is that too difficult?

I think YANBU to be pissed off about it, but I don't think being in possession of small children should have given you priority over the few seats available.

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:08

Cross-posted. So I should definitely have realised how crowded it would be (but how if website doesn't tell you? Unless you or people you know regularly travel in and out of London why would you know?)

I do think it would be helpful if the website had a warning - there were a lot of french students with huge bags on thr train, can't imagine they would have realised either.

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blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:10

That was the other thing - I would've grumbled but sucked it up myself (and have done as mentioned before in rush hour for work etc), but actually I kind of thought with very small children it would give you some sort of priorty over others if they were able to stand. Surely small children are at greater risk of being flattened by the much bigger adult and luggage around them and would be safer perched on an adult's knee in a seat?

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MinecraftAteMyWorld · 27/04/2014 21:10

YABVU. How can you have got to the age where you have two children without knowing that you need to reserve a seat at busy times? None of us can always plan every journey long enough in advance to get a reservation on our chosen train. And if you're an adult you just suck it up. My health's not good - I'm actually disabled - but I look "normal" so I still have to stand. It's tough but it's not the train manager/conductor's fault that we've failed to invest in our railways for the past fifty years.
It's breathtakingly obvious that when there are no more reservations available the train is going to be very full. And yes, nearly every seat can be reserved in advance.
Tip for the future, though. As well as turning up early for an unreserved train, download the app that tells you what platform to go for before it is announced, so you can be first on the train. Most long distance services don't reserve the priority seats just inside the carriage doors. With small children I think you can qualify for these. If you're first on the train you can bag them.

Thetallesttower · 27/04/2014 21:11

I agree with you, terrible service, expensive tickets. Even with petrol prices, it's cheaper to drive most of the time once there's more than one of you.

OldVikingDudeHidMyTubeSocks · 27/04/2014 21:12

Ha, I can beat that, train from London on the Sunday after the Mumsnet Christmas meet up, all carriages packed. Hangover FROM HELL. I think I actually slept standing up clinging onto one of the rails...

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:15

I guess I just don't happen to know one thing that seems obvious to other people. But as I said, I accept IWBU to be surprised and should've done my research better.

Shame the servivce is so shockingly crap in this country though. The trains both ways were late as well. Why do we put up with it?

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Polishaturd · 27/04/2014 21:18

I don't get the expectation that children should be the priority for seats. When I was a child, I never sat down on a bus or train.

Nowadays, I make my kids stand up on crowded trains.

StandsOnGoldenSands · 27/04/2014 21:20

Welcome to the wonderful world of our privatised railways.

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