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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I might have overreacted re small children on train

145 replies

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 20:52

Was on v crowded train out of London this afternoon and had to put two small DCs in corridor - one fell asleep in pile of coats/bags, the other sat on the floor but was in danger of getting squashed/stood on by people and lugguage. I got a bit grumpy about the whole thing. The conducter I stopped to complain to said we should have reserved seats. When we explained there were no options for reservations when we booked online, he told us that usually meant there was no room/seats left on the train and a ticket only gave us entitlement to travel not a seat.

WIBU to expect there to be at least two seats on a Sunday where we could have sat with DCs on our laps and to get a bit cross about the overcrowded conditions and think it's not good enough? At the very least, there could have been a warning on the booking system so we understood we'd be running a risk of having to stand for an hour with two worn out children? If we'd known, we would have tried to book a different train or another day, or driven/gone by coach.

Or should I have sucked it up? Plenty of other people were standing and sitting in the corridor and I'm sure they were as hot, tired and fed up as us. Thing is, littlest is only 3 and he was shattered.

OP posts:

Original poster

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:21

Polishaturd - would you expect a 3 year old to stand for an adult? I'm genuinly curious, not being snarky - I think 3 is too little to stand for a long journey.

OP posts:

Morgause · 27/04/2014 21:23

A 3 year old could sit on a parent's lap, surely?

Original poster

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:25

Oh yeah of course they should sit on a parent's lap - I'd expect both my DC to sit on my lap so an adult could have their seat - sorry I meant I just wanted two seats for STBXH and I to sit, with DC on our laps, one each. I wasn't expecting a seat just for DC2 on his own on such a busy train.

OP posts:

MammaTJ · 27/04/2014 21:25

YABU, you are expecting someone with a ticket to give it up for someone without.

AreYouFeelingLucky · 27/04/2014 21:25

Trains around London are always full. There are no seats unless you travel at midday.

And no, small children aren't more entitled than anyone else. There are just so many entitled people that it doesn't work that way. There are usually enough pregnant and disabled people to fill the seats, so even people in those priority groups have to stand, and that's before you get to children and the elderly.

The train services have the same opinion as your conductor - you pay to travel, not for a seat - so they won't increase services or carriages. They make more money if they don't.

I wouldn't do the trip again for a while if your little one struggled. It's a shame, but you'd be lucky to get a seat on any occasion, and most of the time you're likely to be standing.

Polishaturd · 27/04/2014 21:26

3yo can either stand or sit on parent's knee.

Goodwordguide · 27/04/2014 21:28

Were you travelling east? All the trains in and out of London were very delayed early on, which had a knock-on effect - we were on a very crowded train with many standing and that's quite unusual on Greater Anglia.

Also, at our local station there is a chart of which trains will be the busiest and are likely to have least seating, and which are the emptiest - not much help now but it's very useful if you do want to trya nd guarantee seating. You can't reserve seats at all on most GA trains, only the Intercity ones but it's not usually necessary.

RunnerHasbeen · 27/04/2014 21:30

I can't believe how many of these threads put "expecting a low level of service for your money" as a bigger crime than the companies fleecing the people and not even putting an extra coach on a train that is more than fully booked.

The worst thing about people paying for and booking their seats on things like trains and planes (other than it being a bit grasping of the airline) is that people then feel insulated against any common decency and obligation to help out other people, who might need the seats more. We are encouraged to mock the sense of entitlement of the confused victim having a horrible day they didn't expect, instead of looking at a system or situation that causes it.

As all you have actually expected is a warning on the website than there is no way YABU.

Original poster

blacknotebook · 27/04/2014 21:31

Thanks everyone - I will do a bit more planning next time and perhaps plan a slighlty shorter day out. We did so much walking we were all really tired by the end. We did have a fab day though. Thanks again for everyone's responses.

OP posts:

emsyj · 27/04/2014 21:32

YANBU to think that rail travel in this country is bloody awful - overpriced, overcrowded and unreliable. I wouldn't travel without a reservation - but that's down to having had lots of experience of crappy rail travel. You should be able to travel on a normal train on a normal day at a normal time and for the journey to be comfortable and fairly priced.

SilveryMary · 27/04/2014 21:33

Having a reservation is no guarantee! I've booked seats, on more than one occasion, and they've still had to journey in similar conditions to those you described in your OP.

Yanbu!

jacks365 · 27/04/2014 21:33

I gave up a long time ago expecting to get a seat on a train unless travelling midweek and midday. I regularly spend an hour or more stood with dd in a sling. You learn to adapt what you do and when.

Appletini · 27/04/2014 21:34

I don't understand people suggesting they should warn you if trains are fully booked - often lots of people get walk-on tickets so you can't predict it.

travailtotravel · 27/04/2014 21:34

You have my sympathy it is knackering for everyone, but I think you are a bit entitled to expect a seat just because you have a child.

It's no less or more hazardous or difficult for a 3 year old child than it is for anyone else who could have any one of a range of issues or conditions why they also need to sit down (Meet up hangovers included).

I agree that people are ruder about it all than they need to be though.

Thurlow · 27/04/2014 21:35

That's shitty. Overall I don't think you were being U. You weren't so psychically know either that the train would be massively crowded or that you weren't offered seat reservations because the train was already full. You could always email the train company, not to complain because there's not particularly anything to complain about, but just to point out it's a bit confusing not to be told that no reservations probably means the train is too full. Unless you couldn't reserve on that train. Thinking of our trains, they run longer than an hour and there's no reservation available.

Retropear · 27/04/2014 21:36

We travelled round London with 2x 4 year olds and a 3 year old lots on trains.Used other means prior to this.Never had seats,whoever does on the tube at busy times?They were fine.

Surely if you live that near London you know there is a high possibility you won't get a seat.

Hassled · 27/04/2014 21:36

That thing about tickets giving you the right to travel, not the right to a seat, always baffles the hell out of me. Why is it a given that people will stand? You're not expected to stand in any other form of transport - why trains? I fainted on top of a seated man once while pregnant with DC1 and standing on a commuter train and I thought then that it's an insane system.

HolidayCriminal · 27/04/2014 21:39

Sorry you had such a bad journey. xx

Burren · 27/04/2014 21:39

OP, for future reference, you can upgrade to First Class on the spot for a tenner on many services at the weekend. I did it today on a very crowded train out of a London, travelling alone with bags, a pushchair and a stroppy toddler. Just grab an unreserved seat in First and pay when your ticket is checked.

FloozeyLoozey · 27/04/2014 21:39

I'm a veteran of train travel (don't drive) and I'm always more amazed when trains actually have seats available!

Goblinchild · 27/04/2014 21:39

So now you know, and you can make better plans next time.
In the same way that you should always travel with water and food in case you get diverted or delayed with small children.
Public transport is very poor in this country, and has been for decades.

brokenhearted55a · 27/04/2014 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Caitlin17 · 27/04/2014 21:46

I doubt very much if the website can tell you if a train is fully booked. Many tickets are full price open tickets. I go to Aberdeen regularly on an open first class return. I sometimes book a seat if I know which train I'll be on but there's a good chance I won't be on that train. Obviously once the train has left Edinburgh or Aberdeen anyone can get my seat. The train companies do however leave unbooked seats for passengers on open tickets (who are after all paying the rack rate full fare)

If it's a Sunday afternoon it is mobbed. On that line if you haven't for whatever reason booked a seat there is usually a few in first class but in standard it's first on first served and you'd have to take your chance on someone not turning up for their booked seat.

Caitlin17 · 27/04/2014 21:50

hassled it's not possible to guarantee a seat as the rail companies have no way of knowing until the last minute exactly how many people will be on any particular train. They know generally how many on average but it's not like planes where your ticket is for 1 particular flight which you can't get off until you reach the end.

TattyDevine · 27/04/2014 21:50

First class all the way! (maybe not possible but if its once in a blue moon its worth it)

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