To think I might have overreacted re small children on train

[blacknotebook]

Was on v crowded train out of London this afternoon and had to put two small DCs in corridor - one fell asleep in pile of coats/bags, the other sat on the floor but was in danger of getting squashed/stood on by people and lugguage. I got a bit grumpy about the whole thing. The conducter I stopped to complain to said we should have reserved seats. When we explained there were no options for reservations when we booked online, he told us that usually meant there was no room/seats left on the train and a ticket only gave us entitlement to travel not a seat.

WIBU to expect there to be at least two seats on a Sunday where we could have sat with DCs on our laps and to get a bit cross about the overcrowded conditions and think it's not good enough? At the very least, there could have been a warning on the booking system so we understood we'd be running a risk of having to stand for an hour with two worn out children? If we'd known, we would have tried to book a different train or another day, or driven/gone by coach.

Or should I have sucked it up? Plenty of other people were standing and sitting in the corridor and I'm sure they were as hot, tired and fed up as us. Thing is, littlest is only 3 and he was shattered.

YABU. Your child is under 5 so is filling the train up without having paid a penny and you expect him to have priority to a seat.I hope it was your own coats he was sleeping on.I wouldn't want a snotty 3 yr old thinking he could lie on my bags and coats

I do think it's wrong that a child travelling free should occupy a seat instead of a far-paying adult. Very wrong. They should be on their parent's lap.
I was on a crowded tube last week where two adults with two small children were occupying four seats. The children kept jumping about and swapping seats, just playing about while some quite elderly people were having to stand. The parents should have been ashamed but they clearly weren't.

It's a nightmare. I booked online over Easter, ticked the seat reservation box only to pay and be told no seat reservations were available.

I called up and every train on Good Friday was the same. The only way to reserve a seat was to go on Thursday but for that they wanted to charge me £10 to change tickets. Fuckers.

So we went on the 8.30am train and hoped for a seat.

Always assume you won't get a seat unless reserved.

And the first class upgrade was going to cost £400!

YABVU to think a child should have priority

Yabu - you got seats so only spent 30 mins seatless. Of course non paying children shouldn't be priority. Sitting on the floor is fine, you were there to make sure no one trampled them and they could just jump up for people going by with luggage.

It's not that you should have known any better and predicted the crush, but IMO YWBU to complain to the "Revenue Protection Officer", assuming they are still called that. There's nothing he/she could have done. It's late, everyone wants a seat, everyone standing is tired and a bit pissed off, just crack on.

Same happened to us coming out of London late one Sunday. My 5 and 7yos did us proud. 5yo played with his top trumps beautifully (prob annoying some but I wasn't going to squash him when he was in good humour) and 7yo just read HP. Someone offered us a seat, which I declined, but it made me feel all warm and fuzzy that she had offered! There was only 1 train an hour and we'd eaten, so waiting for the next train wasn't an option.

I was feeling some sympathy for you until you posted that your journey was an hour and that you got seats halfway through. So this great drama and hardship lasted 30 minutes?

So where were you travelling to?

I get annoyed too. I think you should get a discount if all the seats are booked out and it is standing room only . Something to make it less of a bitter pill to swallow. Sometimes they are jam packed for hours. It is sadly not unusual but next time you'll know what to expect.

Although yabu as I don't think children should get priority. Priority should always go to those who booked first.

The last time I caught a train with ds (he's 15, so was 14), I paid for an upgrade to first as there were no seats. He's disabled and can't stand. The upgrade cost more than the return tickets (open return so we couldn't book seats) I'd get him a disabled persons rail card but we don't use the train enough to justify the cost.

I'm not sure what you think could be done? The train company don't know for certain how many people will turn up. Should they turn people away so it's less busy? I'm sure must people would rather travel but stand than not travel at all.

You are NBU and you are not being 'entitled' MN fave word, ugh!

You are however perfectly entitled to feel 'a bit cross' about overcrowded conditions when travelling with 2 tired little children.

On MN AIBU tired 3 year olds should be able to stand for 24 hours on a packed train without food or drink and not bloody complain

Train travel in the UK is horrendously expensive and the service isn't great. However, you sound very entitled to think your children should have priority. Tbh, small children are probably going to find it easy to hunker down in a corridor for half an hour than many older people. And as a child I remember standing on public transport frequently! If you really want the surety of a seat then book one.

Your dc only had to stand for 30 minutes, if they were that tired could you have picked them up? There were 2 adults and 2 kids, I'd probably have say on the floor and let dc sleep on me.

My 3 year old gets a reserved seat on long journeys - 4+ hours but not on shorter ones like you describe. We don't tend to do anything over an hour and under 4 hours ...

Oh but you can feel cross if you want, the train service isn't the best

Oh but you can feel cross if you want, the train service isn't the best

YANBU and are being really nice and gracious about it unlike some on this thread who need to take a look at themselves (sassysally)

It wouldn't have hurt the conductor to be a wee bit sympathetic either.

I agree that the train companies take the piss (and am firmly restraining my rant about transport being an inflexible necessity, which should be re-nationalised.) But ... as an ex-commuter, I share everyone's irritation with parents who think their non-paying darlings must have seats. I have asked parents to move their child off seats before now. It's no good saying they'd sit on your laps, because that means you're saying you must have seats!

There was once a mum whose child, aged about 9, occupied his own seat, and who made sure everyone knew he had a full-price ticket. That was playing fair :)

Yes just noticed it was only an hours journey.

That is not long at all, you were very lucky try 2-4 hours standing on a jam packed train

sorry I meant I just wanted two seats for STBXH and I to sit, with DC on our laps, one each

So really you and dh wanted seats then

I do a longer commute to work with a young ds than 30 mins. It's packed every day.

I have asked parents to move their child off seats before now why, I don't understand?

But it's like a lottery as to whether you'll actually get to sit in your reserved seat even. I think (did somebody say upthread?) you need to take for granted that you'll probably have to stand, even if you've booked in advance, and manage accordingly.

I agree that the OP has been nice and gracious and am glad they got to sit for part of the journey.

Child travels free or half-price. Carriage ram-packed with full-sized people paying full fare. That's reason enough, though you need to bear in mind some of those adults will be unwell, heavily pregnant, elderly, or disabled.

This is why I hate public transport. And, as has been said, once there's more than one of you travelling, it's almost always cheaper to travel by car anyway.