To not understand why GP need alone time with GC?

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My mum is always desperate to get DS alone with her.

"Nanna will take you on holiday"
"You should stay with Nanna"

Innocuous stuff, but I asked jokingly "oh can't I come on holiday too?" and she very bitingly told me no she wanted DS to herself.

She is a good Mum and Nanna.

AIBU to not grasp this need at all, and can someone please fill me in?

My in-laws do have alone time with my DC. I think it does them all a lot of good. I found that because the children were used to being alone with their GP's it was much easier for them when they needed to stay at GP's when I was in hospital.
The kids love spending time with their GP's, they get spoilt rotten, and the GP's love seeing them play without us being there. They don't do it often as GP's work a lot, but they have done things I wouldn't have thought to do with them (WW2 event, trip on a steam train, Goth weekend) and they have the disposable income to treat them that we don't.
Best of all I get a few hours of peace and quiet!

My time with my family is precious because they live so far away and it hurt to think that now I've produced GC I've been shunted down some list.

When it raises itself, I have no issue in them being alone, I just don't engineer situations. DS is 12 months.

Thanks all for responses though. They are enlightening, and it seems as though GP wanting GC alone is normal, it's good for me to realise why.

If the grandparents aren't around regularly and 'hands on' it can be very difficult to let them have one on one time, particularly overnight. The children don't know them that well.

Erm, I don't have an attitude at all. I do not understand the NEED GP have to remove their children from the equation.

I never said that they don't get alone time. Just not as much as Nanna wants.

Is your issue that your mum wants to take a twelve month baby off to a different country without you? That's a bit different from a granny who just likes to have the odd afternoon or occasional sleepover with a grandchild.

I've never left my son overnight, I'm not ready to and the occasion hasn't arisen.

All of his grandparents have however put him to bed and got up with him.

They live 4 hours away (in laws) and 20 hours away (my parents) so overnights won't happen unless it's at our house really.

Could you tell your mother that you want to spend time with her too, as you only get infrequent visits (I'm assuming with that distance.)

FYI, Nana is simpler to say (and sounds like banana )

We live near to my parents now but when my girls were a lot younger we lived a few hundred miles away from them. My parents loved coming to get the girls and taking them away for a few days. Sometimes me and huuby used to drop the girls at my parents and then go away for a few days. My mum still talks about all the times she had the girls to stay, they all had great fun and really bonded well (which was even more important given how far away we lived)

She doesn't want to take him at this age, just at some unspecified age.

I'd love her to fly me out there :( it's jealousy I suppose, how awful.

She has the odd afternoon, I'm not stupid I take my chance to nip to the gym or hairdressers when she is here! :) but again not as much as she wants. And overnights aren't really possible unless I was to leave my house and leave her and DS here.

I'm being so petty aren't I with the saying Nanna thing and holiday thing

So she's saying that at some stage in the future she'd like to take her grandchild on a holiday, just the two of them?
I can't see the problem. I'm sorry, but you sound like you're being a little bit petty and can't bear the thought of not being included in something.

It doesn't matter if you are being petty, I wouldn't like it either.
My mil constantly says she wants to take ds to her house by herself and has a whole load of baby stuff she bought that neither gets handed over or used. Ds is 8 months and has never been away from either myself or dh. Our choice, our baby.

What I find alarming is the number of parents who act like their child is some kind of exclusive possession and refuse to allow them to form a unique relationship with other important people in their lives such as GPs. I know my parents would have been very upset and hurt if they had been refused time alone with their GC.

I think part of the reason for her wanting you to go out and leave her alone with your DS might be that (for most babies of that age) mothers are the centre of their world. If you are around, you'll be the one your DS chooses to interact with first. He can't know her that well if she doesn't see him very often. So if it helps, she's probably feeling a bit 'petty' too.

I don't want her taking him on his own to where she lives no. And she said he could fly on his own (3 flights 2 transit airports). If I'm honest I don't care if I'm bu on that one, he isn't going to Indonesia without me until he is at least in double digits. Plus I have another baby coming and would hope she could treat them the same.

They have a relationship and they have alone time. I've never wanted to prevent this nor would I.

Frequently being told to go out so she can be alone with DS or her saying she will take him places instead of me (like the doctors) gets on my sick.

We skype every 2/3 days so he knows her face and voice, and as I said she (not my dad :() is staying with me for around 4 months a year on 4 separate occasions. Believe me I facilitate her relationships with all the family in England by having her here.

Once again. I've not refused time alone. She just isn't getting as much as she wants.

Bear in mind this would amount to booting me out of my house!

This can end up by being difficult, trust me I have been there. Eldest DD stayed with GP's (MIL/FIL) for three years in her twenties and they would not even put me through on the telephone!! We had to sneak out for a coffee to see one another. Now a grandparent myself, will never cross this line.

The truth is that I connected differently with my grandparents when my parents weren't around. It's difficult to articulate how or why. In some way I think I just found it easier to be myself (not that my parents were particularly controlling or censorious).

I don't blame you. No one wants the first thing out of their mother's mouth when they see her to be, "When are you going out?"

mine have hardly ever had time alone with gp mostly due to living far apart but i think if i put myself in their shoes,i would want he chance to do gp stuff with my gc one day,it must be fun,you can do all the fun stuff then give them back!

jazz I fully accept im being petty and would feel very left out if she didn't want me to come to Indonesia too. We are saving up to make the journey (4 of us) but it's expensive and will take years. While she is happy to just fly him over.

I don't think I could be apart from him for 2 weeks yet either!

What timescale is she talking about? There's no way he'd be allowed fly unaccompanied for years yet. I got the impression that she was talking vaguely about some time in the future taking him on a holiday. If she's seriously talking about just bringing him over to Indonesia to her home and leaving all of you out then I can see your point.