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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

not feeding "meat" to niece and nephew when they stay for one night

192 replies

SuzzieScotland · 21/04/2014 17:07

Been vegan for 9 years and never have meat in the house.

Should I be expected to provide a special meat meal for a 3 and 7 yo when they stay over? Rather than just what I would eat, they would be getting a balanced diet and 10+ fruit veg portions.

Brother in law has kind of suggested it would be unhealthy not to have meat for 24 hours...

OP posts:

fuzzpig · 21/04/2014 18:28

I am very much a meat eater, as is DH, in the sense that neither of us would ever dream of giving it up, but we still eat meat free a few times a week. Not even specifically planned this way (as in 'meat free Monday' etc) it just happens because there are other forms of protein that you can base a meal on.

ICanSeeTheSun · 21/04/2014 18:29

Yanbu, my DD is a vegetarian by choice. I love a nice big steak and so do DH. She is 4-5 years of age.

Tbh DD has a well balanced diet, the meat is replaced by other foods fuel of protein

thebodydoestricks · 21/04/2014 18:33

Sorry can't you ring the 7 year old and ask her.

Why is this about you and bil?

Bit odd.

springsummerautumnpresents · 21/04/2014 18:37

If BIL wants you to serve them meat as he believes meat is the healthy option, I say you should buy them a McDonald's Happy Meal

not feeding "meat" to niece and nephew when they stay for one night

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 21/04/2014 19:07

Most children who visit (or live in) this house wouldn't be too happy with your proposed menu. Especially if this is not food they usually have.

I usually serve pasta to all DDs visiting friends. Some like it with tomato sauce, some with just butter, some with cheese sprinkled over. Often served with garlic bread. When we have no visitors I serve it with a side of broccoli.
I rarely serve visiting children meat.

In your case, I would check what they normally eat, and try stay close to that. Meanwhile, you could offer them some of what you are eating, and find out if they like it or not or next time they visit.

Notcontent · 21/04/2014 19:12

Your BIL is a bit mad - it's healthy to have meat free days.
I am not vegetarian or vegan but we often have vegetarian meals which could easily be made vegan.

Andrewofgg · 21/04/2014 19:31

DW and I are meat-eaters but when my vegetarian niece visits of course meat is off the menu for the duration - one or two days. BIL is being absurd.

Slackgardener · 21/04/2014 19:32

I think most dcs will be happy with pasta and tomato sauce, curry is a bit more challenging but either way there's always something they can eat....sounds like the adults are objecting more.

I think vegan food can be delicious, but also disastrous if you have a poor palate and can't cook!

ChasedByBees · 21/04/2014 19:39

That sounds delicious. YANBU.

hm32 · 21/04/2014 19:39

I think your daily menu would have them, uh, running to the toilet copiously the day after as they wouldn't be used to that much fibre. Perhaps you could adjust slightly, so:

Toast with marg & jam or other spread for breakfast. Or cereal with almond milk. Fruit juice/fruit to add.
peanut (or other nut butter) sandwich with salad for lunch (or with soup or something).
Pasta and sauce, or rice and sauce for dinner.

That would be a more 'normal' to a meat eater sort of day, just minus the meat. Snacks could be vegan biscuits or similar?

Goldmandra · 21/04/2014 19:42

Brother in law has kind of suggested it would be unhealthy not to have meat for 24 hours...

He needs to get a grip!

My 17 YO DD managed to cater for a vegan and a vegetarian while cooking for 9 friends at her birthday party last week. In fact all the food happened to be vegetarian just because that was easier and pleasanter for all concerned. Nobody felt deprived in the slightest!

If he mentions it again ask him to expand on exactly which component of meat he thinks his children need a dose of at least every 24 hours.

Hissy · 21/04/2014 19:49

My ds would be fascinated at a stay over at a vegan house!

He asked if it were possible not to eat meat, and I suggested that we do a week of vegetarian food only. Haven't planned/done it yet, but def will do.

It's a great opportunity to understand others, and to experiment. I know he'd love the food, because he loves good strong flavours and interesting textures.

Your BIL is - officially - an idiot.

MrsDeVere · 21/04/2014 19:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TeacupDrama · 21/04/2014 19:51

they may not be used to or like basil, curry, brazil nuts avocado olives etc, many children do not like the strong bitter flavours, as does breakfast fruit smoothies sound great

I would go a bit more boring like bread and almond milk I think you would end up with diarrhoea if you suddenly went from 2-3 portions of fruit/veg to 10 and unfortunately you would get blamed which would give BIL ammunition that vegan was rubbish and made you ill so i would go with vegan versions of what they normally have and leave the adventurous stuff till a bit older unless they want to try it, but give them option of jam/cheese and bread so not hungry

ImAThrillseekerBunny · 21/04/2014 19:53

That all sounds delicious to me, but you might need a plan b for the curry in particular - I'd err on the side of caution and go for pasta with tomato sauce or beans on toast.

Catsize · 21/04/2014 19:55

Yanbu.

Enjoyingmycoffee1981 · 21/04/2014 19:57

Whilst I think your menu sounds utterly delicious, my three year old would start crying faced with the options you suggest.

You have to ask yourself, do you want your nieces to be excited to visit their aunt in future? Or to be terrified at the prospect of eating at your place.

Treat them! Incorporate a nice big fat juicy treat somehow.

Perhaps your bil was clumsily trying to say to you... Please think about what you serve my young children!
Show your brother that vegan food can really appeal to children. Devise your menu with young children in mind. As opposed to what you would like them to like.

rumbleinthrjungle · 21/04/2014 20:03

Rubbish! I bet the children don't notice at all.

Gileswithachainsaw · 21/04/2014 20:14

Menu sounds lovely!! Mine wouldn't eat the olives and dd2 wouldn't eat the tomato but in all honesty it's lovely and thy wouldn't starve leaving a couple of olives that's for sure.

I'd happily eat that. I'm not vegan but I hardly eat dairy any more and feel soooo much better when I have "vegan days"

I'd leave your house full and feeling good !!

QuacksForDoughnuts · 21/04/2014 20:39

YANBU to give them vegan food, but it would be worth listening to previous posters who have suggested keeping it to vegan versions of things the children normally eat. I am vegan and my diet seems pretty similar to yours, but I think I'd lay off the adventurous stuff for a short visit from other people's children - while some will take kindly to curry etc others are creatures of habit. You may get lucky and magically expand their range, but you may also end up with a situation where they don't eat the food and their dad feels vindicated. Stick to pasta or veggie sausages for the time being. BTW if they are the sort to miss cow milk Tesco have a coconut milk drink that tastes just as I remember semi-skimmed. Less likely to raise an eyebrow than soy or almond. M&S sunflower margarine is the nearest replacement I've found to butter.

OHforDUCKScake · 21/04/2014 20:47

Suzie, we dont have animal products for allergy reasons and your curry suggestion caught my eye.

May I ask, how would you do that?

Just before I clicked on this thread, I was searching for ideas for dinner tomorrow and then I read that!

You have inspired me, but I wouldnt know what to do.

Curry aside, I dont think you are BU at all.

Im breast feeding my allergic child so my diet is massively restricted also, and I dont expect people to cater for me, I take along 'back up food' for us both.

But if a child was to stay, they eat the wheat free bread, the coconut milk in their food and vitalite rather than butter etc etc.

I dont see how its any different for you.

I think your BIL just have beef with veganism (pun not intended!!) and has had an opportunity to raise that.

DadOnIce · 21/04/2014 20:55

This thread reminds me of the !

On a less flippant note, I was a bit puzzled by meat being in inverted commas in the title. I came in expecting it to be a discussion about something which is not really "meat", i.e. some kind of substitute like Quorn or something.

OHforDUCKScake · 21/04/2014 21:04

Its ok OP I found a recipe!

Thanks for the inspiration!

RahRahRasputin · 21/04/2014 21:09

Is all that food for one day? it'd take me days to eat that much! Also surely that's not 20-30 fruit/veg portions? The official portions are quite substantial.

I'm vegetarian so wouldn't serve meat to anyone visiting, but I've never not been catered for as a vegetarian visiting others. I always offer to bring something, and I give ideas if someone is flummoxed.

I do think that menu is a bit too extreme for little ones though, especially if they're not used to vegan food.

Original poster

SuzzieScotland · 21/04/2014 21:24

Sorry that menu was just what I had today.

To be honest will just stock the fridge full, let them pull out what they like the look of and make something out of that, obviously with some help mixing and that.

I put meat in speach marks as today the meat they were eating was reformed stuff made to look like pandas heads...

Glad you found a recipy oh, I tend to chuck everything in the pressure cooker with plenty of tumeric, cayane pepper and some other spices and it always turns out great.

OP posts:

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